I'm going to make a suggestion....

<p>I was very happy to find the Prep School section on CC and I have gleaned quite a bit of good information off of the various posts.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, since 95% of the posts seem to be about the HADES schools, depression about scoring ONLY a 96-percentile on the SSATs, and all the “straight A” report cards, it is becoming a bit depressing for me to read.</p>

<p>I have a terrific kid, who is a great athlete, and a born leader. She is a reasonably good student, but had dismal SSAT scores. In other words: she is normal. Average. Whatever term you like.</p>

<p>So – my request is this:</p>

<p>Where can people like me go to get information? Any leads out there? I truly believe my child would both benefit from boarding school AND contribute, in a meaningful way, to whatever school she attends. I have no delusions about her attending an ACRONYM school and we, quite frankly, weren’t even trying for one. I believe our short list (Millbrook, Portsmouth Abbey, Pomfret and a few local schools) are reasonable for her. However, the more I read, the more disheartened I become. Other posters have told me that this board is over-weighted with ACRONYM applicants, but what about the average kid who, although does not have 99th percentile SSAT score, still has a lot to offer the world?</p>

<p>OK… am re-reading this post and it sounds depressing! LOL </p>

<p>Another question for those in the know: When the schools list AVERAGE SSAT scores, surely that is an average… not the median? Therefore it stands to reason that schools with average SSAT scores of 60% MUST have some kids with abysmal scores? Or am I figuring that wrong…</p>

<p>I know it is more about the complete package… but it is hard to keep that in mind when you read a lot of the posts on CC. </p>

<p>Thanks for letting me panic/vent!</p>

<p>London203- I am so glad to read your post! Don’t panic- I believe there are MANY like your daughter- and my son who have much to offer. We started this journey only looking at the Acronym schools, quite simply because that is all we knew of. My son is a great athlete and a very good student, boarding school was HIS idea. He came to us and said he wanted to go to Exeter, which I’d heard of because I had a cousin who spent a summer there. I was shocked as I researched things a bit and found out about the rates of admittance. I suggested if he was going to put the energy into this one application, he might as well look around and see what other options were out there. Our intial postion was - ‘Go Big or Stay Home’- simply because I felt that I wasn’t willing to part with him for anything less than “The Best!” Fast forward a year: We have come a LONG way in our understanding of the MANY opportunities out there and our list has adapted to a nice mix of ‘reach’ and ‘target’ (we don’t believe there are any ‘safeties’ - as was the case when my daughter was applying to colleges). People where we live don’t do the boarding school thing and according to our guidance counselor- no one from our middle school has every applied to one before. To prepare for the SSATs we bought our son a book. He did pretty well on the practice tests- but his actual score was not what we were expecting. He didn’t ‘bomb’ but he definately is below the ‘average’ of the schools we are looking at. HE is retaking tomorrow- but I am not letting him be discouraged. I believe strongly that a good student who is kind, hardworking, and does well at many other activities still has a good shot. There is a lot of talk about ‘holistic admissions’- I am betting that many of these AO’s are vetting for ‘great kids’ - and that matters a great deal. Honestly, I don’t want my kid getting into any school, that doesn’t value ‘nice’ high on its list of priorities. I will have to let you know after March 9th (or 10th?) how my theories about this process pan out. I am thankful for all the wisdom that has been shared by so many of the great parents on these threads- like ExiMITmom and Sevendad-I dont’ recall offhand the names of many of my favorite posters- but I always look forward to your helpful and generous advice on these forums. I hope to be one of those parents next year who can offer some solid insight- but for now, london, I just wanted you to know you are not alone!</p>

<p>london203: Sure fit is important. But, just as with college & law school forums, most focus on the schools which are the most selective. Due to the small enrollment of boarding schools as compared to colleges and universities, threads devoted to a particular boarding school aren’t going to get much attention.
Try Peterson’s guide & contact schools directly for information.</p>

<p>@gypsyrose: thank you! We are the same opinion… Good luck to your son.</p>

<p>Posting this link in case london203 or gypsyrose haven’t seen it before:</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1130908-hidden-gems-lesser-known-prep-schools.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1130908-hidden-gems-lesser-known-prep-schools.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>While I was lucky enough to run into someone early on who had first-hand knowledge of the BS (person works at one) scene and who gave me a list based on my description of my daughter’s strengths and weaknesses, I’ll give credit where credit is due and say that for some schools it was parent advocacy here on CC made me take a second or third look.</p>

<p>For example, toombs61 put Hotchkiss on our “to visit” list when it wasn’t originally. And were it not for ThacherParent, I might not be aware of that great California school. I’m also indebted to Winterset (among other SPS parents) for helping me understand the strengths of St. Paul’s. </p>

<p>And finally, to ops for being such a great advocate for St. Andrew’s. </p>

<p>Frankly, when I first looked at the website for SAS (it has since been redesigned/upgraded) I was sort of “meh”. Looking back at my recap thread, we requested info for SAS in the final wave of requests. I still have the printouts of the PMs ops sent to me about what he/she felt made SAS special.</p>

<p>So my advice to those who want to look beyond HADES is to read the “Hidden Gems” thread, then use the search tool to find any threads dedicated to a school that sounds interesting and bumping it…with luck a former or current parent will chime in or better yet PM you.</p>

<p>@Axelrod, you should read this old thread: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/616557-changes-one-ssat-score-vs-another.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/616557-changes-one-ssat-score-vs-another.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Entirely anecdotal and self-selected responses, of course!</p>

<p>I personally think students might improve if they made obvious test-taking errors on the first test, but that it might be impossible to shift the relative academic prowess in a month or two. For example, if a student spent too much time on one problem, then rushed the next 12 problems, the score might be lower than if she maximized the number of problems answered correctly. On the other hand, a student’s vocabulary or mastery of algebra relative to other test takers will not improve markedly in 6 weeks.</p>

<p>@london203,</p>

<p>Don’t stress. Average SSAT score means AVERAGE-- some scores will be above the avg & some will be below. Anyway, SSAT score is only one of several criteria weighed. And don’t take the silly CHANCE threads seriously. I respond to those occasionally only to offer a reality check to some of the posters w unrealistic expectations.</p>

<p>Apart from the handful of uber-selective BS that expect the applicants to walk-on-water, other good schools are looking for bright, NICE kids who are enthusiastic to learn, that they can mold. I think you are assembling a pragmatic mix of schools on you list.</p>

<p>Reading “london” in you CC name, are you UK nationals? There are a few but not a lot of UK nationals in U.S. boarding schools, as compared to SKorean and Chinese/HK nationals. Maybe UK is a geographic “hook”.</p>

<p>Having had two kids go through the BS application process… both kids ended up at schools where their SSAT scores were WELL above the posted average (16 points and 28 points above). Initially, they were both skeptical about the benefits of being in the top end of their school’s applicant pool (pride and all that). Both kids have done extraordinarily well and I have come to believe that ultimately, leaving high school with grades and scores that are in the top end of their class is a much better place to be – especially for psychological well-being. Kids everywhere now feel soooo much more pressure than most of us did, I’d rather my kids felt a sense of self-efficacy. Of course, we’ll never know if they would have been top performers at a top 10 BS, but given their middle class, rural upbringing, I just didn’t want them to experience the profound culture shock of suddenly being small fish in a big pond quite so young. They have each received a world class education local kids can’t even dream of. For us, that’s what mattered.</p>

<p>Bravo, wcmom1958! Well said.</p>

<p>Nice to see you here, wcmom1958! Sounds as if your family’s thought process was very sound and turned out well. I’ve heard many times the wisdom of having a kid attend a school where s/he can be in the top third for many of the same reasons that you mentioned in your post.</p>

<p>bumping this thread…</p>

<p>Bump.</p>

<p>Again, I am curious how (or perhaps why?) people put together “apply to” lists that include a majority of schools with SSAT averages well above their own scores. I’ve seen this happen over a few app cycles.</p>

<p>Is everyone who finds themselves in this situation a “late to the process” applicant? Is everyone the sort of kid who just doesn’t test well? I doubt it.</p>

<p>My point here, and I am going to be fairly pointed, is that many people seem to apply exclusively to schools where their chances (based on SSAT scores, at least) are well below average.</p>

<p>In our case DS applied to a few ‘reach’ schools where his SSAT was much lower (by 15 pts.) than the average, a few schools within range, and rounded that out with a few that had averages below his SSAT score. This included HADES and hidden gems, 10 in all. I think he has a pretty good probability of being accepted somewhere! :slight_smile: And if it turns out to be HADES, then great. But if not, we’ve got the bases covered!</p>

<p>SevenDad: i have only been on these baords for about 3 months, but already I sense that we are not the “usual” suspects! LOL Anyway, as to your question about deciding where to apply…</p>

<p>I went to Dana Hall myself. We had not considered boarding school for our daughter, primarily because she is an only child and I was being selfish about it :slight_smile: But I took her to my reunion and she fell in love with the idea of going away to school. I guess I assumed I would let her apply to Dana and that would be it. </p>

<p>The reason she wanted to go away, however, has nothing to do Dana specifically… she is a very independent kid who loves to do things everybody else ISN’T… so of course she wanted to go away (not usual in our area). </p>

<p>She is a very smart kid, but that is not always reflected in her grades, so we didn’t even consider HADES/GLADCHEMMS etc. In addition, I want her to grow from her experience if she does go away. I don’t want her crushed by the pressure of grades/scores/etc. I felt that a good education could be obtained at most boarding schools. So we went a level deeper. </p>

<p>We started at Boarding School Review where I told her to check off any box that she could to narrow down the list. Once she had input her “desires” in a school, we got a short list. Since she is applying to a very good day school here (in additoin to having acces to a top public school), we only selected 2 to apply to. Neither were your “tier 1” schools and to be honest, I feel like the fit is right and that she would thrive in either. </p>

<p>That is exactly what I want – for her to thrive. Attending a school with crushing pressure just so you can get into a college for more crushing pressure didn’t exactly appeal to my parental instincts. Personally, I want her to be challenged but also be free enough to try some things she wouldn’t normally be able to. And, if 100% of her time is spent working, how can that happen. Boarding school, for me, was transformative in that I tried sports I had never even heard of, let alone played. I was in a play. I met girls from all over the world and from all walks of life. I learned how to say good morning in Thai from a new friend. All of these things have had more impact on my life that straight-A’s could have. I know everyone has their priorities, but you asked how other approached the process.</p>

<p>I finally decided to answer in case we are not the only “unusual suspects” on CC. I have found these boards to be invaluable for information, advice and support. I hope that our story can help someone else out there. </p>

<p>Whatever your motivations and reasons for choosing the schools you all did: good luck and all the best come March 10.</p>

<p>To elaborate on SevenDad’s suggestion, lets say for example your DS did make it into one one of those highly academic achieving institutions, congratulations. Hopefully there was something that told the admission team this kid can cut it. AO love to exclaim how they took a chance on a kid and low and behold he became a star student, class prez, went on to Harvard and all they had to do was give him the chance. Every school has a story like that but in reality not that many stories. This is where fit comes in and where as far as I’m concerned, not a big fan of reaches. The more common story of the reach acceptance is a miserable 4 years of keeping ones head above water. Having said that, I do believe there are kids when given the opportunity, the right tools, the proper environment aka boarding school, that they are then able to excel and achieve goals that otherwise may not have been obtainable. But, one has to be honest with oneself and the parents too because you know you’re kid. Is the DS really going to buckle down and use all his free time wisely? There are those that already perform automatically in a academic environment and those 8th graders who say, I will if I get in as if some epiphany will take place once on campus. My honest opinion I don’t think so but I’ve been wrong before.</p>

<p>london203: After I clean out my inbox, I’m going to send you a PM…</p>

<p>SevenDad isn’t asking for stories from the level-headed. He’s asking why so many pursue the snowball’s chance.</p>

<p>ChoatieMom: fair enough. But I wanted to take time to reassure the other “level headed” out there… if you read these boards long enough, you start to wonder how many others are out there… :-)</p>

<p>In our case, if you look at the overall list of high schools (boarding and day) that my D applied to there’s a good range, but the three boarding schools she applied to were all very difficult places to gain admission - albeit she had a hook at one. However, she wasn’t 100% commited to the idea of boarding school until after all the decisions came in. That’s a factor in the selection of the “apply to” list - as others have said, boarding school usually isn’t a “must”, and if it isn’t then a kid can apply to a smaller range of schools.</p>

<p>I think the answer is somewhat simple. Although unsatisfying. Most kids are not capable of seeing themselves objectively. Neither are many of their parents for that matter. They know that they want to go to boarding school, they have idealized it to the point of not recognizing how they personally would fit into each environment.</p>

<p>And, one of the places they get the majority of their information is CC. And as much as frequent long time posters pass on their wisdom, a lot of kids (not all) will tune out what they dont want to hear. I see it a lot in this years posts ( much more than last year) where a kid asks his/her question and will completely ignore the thoughtful answers and ask the same question again slightly differently. </p>

<p>But, my point about CC is, maybe 15 schools are brought up regularly. Usually the same 6 in most posts. So, its everyone wanting an Iphone when there are only a limited number of Iphones being made. But, it might as well only be the only phone because its “the best” and who doesnt want the best for themselves or their kid.</p>

<p>As for my child, she has fallen in love with a hidden gem so hidden it has never been mentioned on CC. I looked. She loves it more than any of the 15% admit rate schools she has looked at. Her stats are high enough that she is a capable applicant at a reach school but this is the place she felt she would be at home for 4 years and thrive. </p>

<p>Fingers crossed for March 10 (ish) because reach or not, nothing can be assumed or taken for granted until a thick envelope is in hand :)</p>