I'm in an Ivy and I hate it - advice?

As the title implies, last spring I got into an Ivy, specifically Columbia. I was really really excited - it was my dream school, it was in NYC, and they gave me a pretty big scholarship. But now, after almost a year there, I have realized that it makes me miserable. People here are overworked, the student culture sucks, and quite frankly I hate my classes, my friends, and my extracurriculars. I know this sounds really negative, but it is what it is.

I think Columbia is a little too intense and competitive for me. It seems like professors don’t really care, and the students either have toxic work ethic or they act cliquey (kinda mean-girls-esque “you can’t sit with us” vibes). I’ve realized that I would probably do better at a small LAC where people actually enjoy what they do, and don’t just grind for a degree.

I missed all the transfer deadlines, but I don’t really want to do another year at Columbia.
I was thinking about reapplying places as a Freshman (is that even possible?). Honestly, I’m just looking for any advice anyone could give me. Has anyone left a prestigious/good school? Has anyone started over somewhere new? Should I just tough it out or should I leave?

edit: I recognize that this might not fall very cleanly under “nontraditional” but I’m not a transfer student, or a new admit, or a fall applicant, so I didn’t really know where to put this.

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You can’t re-apply as a freshman w/ that many credits under your belt.

FinAid can be more difficult as a transfer

Pretty sure that “here” is not Columbia right now, and that you have been home for a good while. I am starting to see a bunch of 'I don’t want to go back to my college posts".

Right now your choices are 1) drop out of college or 2) go back to college. Either way you work on spring admit transfers.

You cannot reapply as a freshman. You might start as a freshman and maybe a school will not accept your credits, but you have to apply as what you are, a freshman with X number of credits taken after high school.

If you had other acceptances last year, they might consider admitting you now. Some schools do that.

Financial aid/merit aid may not be the same.

If there are smaller schools/LACs you are interested in, some may be still taking transfer apps for the Fall. (as others have said you can’t apply anywhere as a freshman). Reach out to admissions, often there is a specific transfer admissions person and ask what your options are…Fall entry? Spring?

Also agree with the above wrt reaching out to schools that accepted you last year, should any still be of interest to you.

If you want suggestions for schools post your stats and what you are looking for in a school and posters will be able to better help you.

Good luck.

Transfer to a community college, maybe you will like that better and then transfer to your state flagship.

Some of us had similar experiences at other highly ranked universities.

Classes are likely to get smaller as you get to upper levels. “Intense and competitive” and “overworked” is the way that it is at highly ranked schools. You go to a highly ranked school because you want to work hard 24/7 for four years and learn an enormous amount.

You definitely want to keep your grades up. Good grades at Columbia will make the point that you can do well at any university. Then you need to figure out what sort of school would be a good fit for you. You would be a transfer student if you went elsewhere.

I am not sure that a highly ranked LAC would be less competitive or less intense.

I went to an Ivy and didn’t absolutely love it. I know the feeling of hating the grind (and the grinds) and having trouble negotiating elite/wannabe-elite social niceties. I didn’t really find “my tribe” until Spring of freshman year (if you would have found that at the same time, it would have been interrupted by coronavirus) - and that was after the housing deadlines had passed, so I never got to live with my besties. I had a random assortment of roommates who were fine but I’d never want to have a beer with them.

Transferring is a mug’s game in most cases. You’ll never quite, in my observation, fit in. You didn’t go through the same first-year rituals together. There’s also the financial aid issue raised by other posters above. Also, wherever you go, there you are.

I’d take stock of whether you’re really miserable at Columbia or just kind of meh on the whole experience. If you’re just kind of meh, stick it out. It gets better when you take less cattle-call intro courses and start taking smaller upper-level seminars, and some of the mean-girl behavior subsides as people mature. But if you’re genuinely miserable, have a frank talk with your parents about finances.

Also just drop your extracurriculars if you hate them. You’d be surprised how much happiness a little free time can buy.

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Taking college courses after high school means that you would apply as a transfer to most colleges.

If you really do not want to do another year at your current college, consider doing next year at a low cost local community college and apply to transfer as a junior to other four year colleges.

OP wrote: “… last spring, I got into an Ivy, specifically Columbia…and they gave me a pretty big scholarship.”

Can you afford to transfer to another school as financial aid & merit money is not common for transfer students ?

Look for transfer if possible. A local move might be your best bet to a CC and then try to build back up to a state school.

Things have changed with the Covid19 crisis. Where do you want to go? Select a few schools and call their admissions offices ASAP. Call, don’t email. Explain your situation. You never know - there just might be a spot for you for this fall. Don’t delay. Do this today. Good luck. The pandemic crisis just might give you a little more room/time to get an application in and make a change. I have a good feeling for you!

Some schools do give money to transfer students. The admissions pages often make it clear whether they do or not. Barnard–no guaranteed FA for Transfers for instance, but schools like Lehigh, GW and others do offer aid.

Here are some others (but I compiled this list a little while ago and you will want to check that it’s still accurate):
Emory
LaFayette (FA is available–same amount?)
Union in Schenectady
U of Rochester
Vanderbilt
Wake Forest
Washington in St. L
Wesleyan

And probably several others. You’ll want to check the admissions page of each school that interests you.

BTW–I attended both an Ivy and a small LAC–the small LAC experience was much, much better IMHO both the teaching and the social experience.

You have a number of options as suggested by those who have already posted. Here are a couple of others.

One is to contact a private college counselor who knows what opportunities that exist at this late date and where they are better than anyone here. A number of these counselors work remotely with clients all over the country and even all over the world, so i’s not necessary to have someone near where you live.

Another is to take a year off from college and do something else. Keep your spot at Columbia, but give yourself time to figure things out. Take time to deal with the task of transferring to another school if that’s what you decide to do, and of working out the details associated with that. You could even take 6 months off and start back up in the spring semester. This is certainly good timing to take a semester or a year off since things are so disrupted anyway. Be kind to yourself. You don’t have to rush through college.

Here’s an article which might help and which has links to backup material:

https://koppelmangroup.com/blog/2019/11/13/transferring-colleges-after-freshman-year

Northwestern awards financial aid to transfers if money remains in the financial aid budget.

OP’s main complaint is that Columbia is too intense & too competitive. I doubt that this aspect is likely to change in subsequent years. OP simply needs a more relaxed campus culture / atmosphere.

FYI–Transfer application deadlines are often quite late. You might still have several options to start a new school this fall, by meeting the late spring deadline in May sometime. Many schools have two or three different application deadlines. You could also target a fall deadline for a Spring start, for example. Just make a spreadsheet of schools that interest you. Add a column for transfer FA info. Add a column for application deadlines. Essay should sound something like: "While I valued my experience at X school, I find myself drawn to [Target Transfer School’s] [Fill in the blank whatever quality attracts you – small class size, bucolic campus, friendly atmosphere, excellet profs in Y dept]. What you don’t want to do is trash your first school … Because a lot of students may not show up to several campuses this year, they may take more transfers than before. You never know …

Oh I just thought of another school that offers transfer FA–

Southwestern University outside of Austen TX – very pretty campus, lively, fun and nice students

OP - What’s your major? Could that be part of the issue? Some majors are much more intense than others, regardless of where you are going to school.

I also agree with @DadTwoGirls that your freshman experience is going to be very different in terms of class size and professor relationships as you get further along.

Have you spoken to anyone about how you are feeling at school? An advisor? A counselor?

i usually tell people to go where they are happy because life is short, but your other options don’t see great. there is no guarantee you will like a new school better even if you are able to transfer. starting over as a freshman or going to CC? those do not seem wise when you are at a school like Columbia. I think stick it out- A lot of people take a full year to start to love their college. I think yoiu need to get involved in more clubs and stuff to break it down to smaller units and find your peeps.

Are you female? If so, call Barnard and see if you can transfer there. It is a separate institution within Columbia and you might like it better.

What makes you think you’re not a transfer student? You’re finishing your freshman year at one school and plan to apply to a different school to finish the last 3 years. That’s what a transfer student is.