I'm so confused...

<p>At the very least, they will have to fill out the financial aid forms.</p>

<p>Hello, A Mom here.
Let me say we have a lot to do with this.
We know a little bit more about our kids, their goals, their aspirations, their qualities, their struggles, their family lifestyle. Heck, I don’t need to explain it.
Moms and Dads have a whole lot to do with it.
Not debating this.
End of story.</p>

<p>What do your parents have to do with this? Really? LOL</p>

<p>I know the heartache that will accompany my D’s choice of professions, but I must let her do what makes her feel true to who she is. I would never tell her she couldn’t pursue her career choice. I think it’s foolish to help fund college when the child’s heart may not be in it. Huge waste of time and money. It’s hard as parents to let go and let them make their own choices. College is a great place to let them test the waters. If acting is truly this poster’s love and makes her feel complete as a person and fulfills her passion for life, then I think she should be allowed to pursue that. If there are other things she is interested in and will make her feel just as fulfilled then go that route. From her list it looks like she has lots of other areas of interest. My D’s list would have one thing on it…
acting… no other option.</p>

<p>bisouu. they would not necessarily provide a lot of happiness, but I would be okay with them.</p>

<p>People work for different reasons…some work to live and others live to work. I have been a teacher for 27 years and can’t imagine doing something for this long without deriving some happiness from it. I could see myself doing other things that would probably make me feel just as satisfied. I can say that I teach to live and look forward to retirement. My D is choosing her career because it’s what gives her breath and purpose for living. Neither is right or wrong. Can you see yourself working in a career for years that is just “okay”? If the answer is yes, then you will be fine. You don’t have to be passionate about what you do, but you don’t want to be miserable either. Sounds like you have some good options. And once you start college you may find something that really makes you passionate and happy. There are tons of wonderful opportunities that college has to offer.</p>

<p>I examined my list of majors, and I realized that although they’re hobbies, I would no longer be interested in doing any of them for fun if I had to do them for a career, with the only exception being acting! Acting, to me, is a career, not a job. Thank you for making me realize that, bisouu!</p>

<p>If I may add a little advice, here is something wise my father told me when I was going into college. My father himself was a musician. He said, if you can be happy doing ANYTHING ELSE other than the performing arts, than you should do that. The only reason to do performing arts is if that is the only way you can be happy.</p>

<p>At the time, I myself was deciding between acting and being a psychologist. I decided to be a psychologist, which I enjoy very much to this day. In retrospect, I don’t think I was emotionally cut out to be an actress, with the rejection and insecurity inherent in the career.</p>

<p>My daughter is now a Junior, and she is an actress, and that is the ONLY thing she can imagine doing with her life. So, here we are. I am glad to support her, and I hope that she will be amazingly successful. But, even if she isn’t, she will have the satisfaction of knowing that she tried, and the comfort of knowing that we believe in her.</p>

<p>I don’t disagree with anything said previously on this thread (expect the stuff about parents being irrelevant, obviously) but here’s the thing about acting. I would separate the concept of majoring in drama or acting in college from “being an actress to be happy”. Most people who major in acting do not end up actors. They take their college degree get survival jobs, go on auditions, and eventually settle into a fine life doing something else perhaps theater related, perhaps not. Lightning has to strike to become a successful actor with a lifelong career and it doesn’t strike that often. I suspect your parents are hoping for some stability.</p>

<p>I guess what each of us defines as a “successful” actor is different. I have at least 15 friends I can think of off hand (one a broadway actress) the others are local/community theater actors who make a very decent living doing what they love. Acting/performing is their career. Some work the cruise ship industry, some the theme parks, some overseas, some tv, some film, and none have a “survival” job. I agree, the “star” type actors might be few and far between, but there are lots of acting jobs that aren’t as well known that pay well enough to live a nice life and be happy.</p>

<p>Okay, I’m interested. Aren’t these usually short term jobs? Theme parks, cruise ships, etc. are not careers and while I know people on ships right now they are young and it’s going to get old real fast. It also typically involves singing and dancing doesn’t it? I haven’t seen a lot of Shakespeare cruises, but who knows? TV and film gigs are not steady work unless you’re very lucky. Community theater does not usually come with a paycheck and if it does it’s going to be very, very small. Stipend small. Regional theater is a better bet but dominated by MFA’s. I know lots of actors, too but I cannot say I know lots of recent BFA graduates who act for a living and can pay their bills without side jobs. That would be nice.</p>

<p>Marylandchik has a lot of interests and her parents have no college fund. These are not small factors. Of course, they want her to study something that will lead to a good chance of lucrative employment. Broke does not equal happy, either.</p>

<p>Well, we’re all preaching to the choir here. This forum is for students who are interested in majoring in theater in college, and their parents, with input from others who have been through the process. If you were to post your situation elsewhere you would be receiving very different advice!</p>

<p>In this particular instance, this young lady Marylandchick has posted here numerous times over the last 6 months introducing herself to us as having a multitude of interests and being very confused in which direction to head. Lets not forget that college is supposed to be a place and time of exploration of our interests. If she heads to a program with a very confined strict curriculum that keeps her on one track, then she will not be able to use her college years to explore any of those other interests. If she indeed has the talent and artisitc and creative ability and stamina to go through the life of auditions/rejections and breaking down walls and doors inherent in the acting industry then she will find a way to make it. There are plenty of BA programs or studios and workshops she can attend to hone her craft and train in. I strongly believe that she will thrive in A large university which will allow her to explore many of her interests so that she can get a better idea of whether some of her interests are bette off hobbies or careers. In today’s job market, being versatile and leaving many doors open is what will help today’s young people survive in the crazy volatile economic scenario that we live in. I strongly feel that this young person who is self described as confused shouldn’t be in a BFA program that is one dimensional but in a college which will foster her creativity and multitude of interests. Having a freshman in college myself as well as an older student, let me say, that the support of your parents is crucial in many ways and the parents have a keen understanding of crucial factors related to our kids work ethics.</p>

<p>Marylandchick has gone back to saying that the career she is most interested in is acting.</p>

<p>I think she should go for it. I think she should devote herself 100% to that career goal. That’s what she should do now, when she is young, before she has old people responsibilities like a family to support. While she is young she can live like a student or a “bohemian”.</p>

<p>The people who succeed in acting careers are people who devote themselves to that goal 100%. There is still room for “hobbies” on the side–that’s a part of a full, healthy, life. But you don’t need a degree to have a hobby, you don’t even need a minor to have a hobby.</p>

<p>When I was marylandchick’s age, I was unable to do the things that my parents demanded of me. I ended up dropping out of high school. Many years later, a doctor discovered I had a learning disability that had been undiagnosed my whole life. This meant that I would never have been able to do the things my parents demanded. It turned out that my parents never had any magical powers that gave them the ability to know what I was capable of and what I should do with my life. They were completely wrong, and had always been pressuring me to take my life in a direction that was wrong for me. It was only after I understood the limitations that my learning disability put on me that I was able to go back and finish my education. My parents never understood these limits, but I am the one who has learned how to live with them and cope with them.</p>

<p>So it sounds like marylandchick’s parents will not be paying for her college, no matter what she chooses as her major. What would happen, then, if she picked the major she wanted instead of the major they wanted?</p>

<p>This is all really important for any student considering studying theatre to read. I’m glad it’s on this forum. It never gets old - we always have new kids and parents coming here, and this is a hugely important topic.</p>

<p>I think a student who is going through the kind of thinking that marylandchick is probably should be looking at BA programs. Exploration, double majors, minors, etc. are all very appropriate pathways for someone who is unsure or who has many interests. That is how many people go through college, even those who end up in focused career pathways - doctors, lawyers and other “professionals.”</p>

<p>My other point is that some people just don’t know how they’re going to decide what they’ll do about their careers, when they are 18 years old. What they can decide is what is most important to them <em>now</em>. My D loves theatre, lives and breathes it, and the more she is involved in it, the more she wants to be involved. But she hasn’t had to make a living at it yet, and we can’t know whether that will turn out well, badly or somewhere in between. She worried a lot about her college choice because she was thinking too far ahead. In the end, the most important question was, what do you want to study? What will make your education feel most rewarding, most valuable? That was when she chose the BFA (with a little extra boost in liberal arts at the particular college she is at).</p>

<p>An educated person is an educated person. People with theatre degrees don’t have to have a Plan B, but they - and the people in their lives - should value the life skills that theatre gives them. There is no shame in switching gears or going back to school someday - none of us can plan our lives that tightly. But if you have a passion for studying and living theatre at this age, do it now.</p>

<p>If someone has a link to one of those wonderful articles about all of the things you can do with your theatre degree, please post it. I think marylandchick’s parents might find it reassuring.</p>

<p>I concur with TheRealKEVp on this . I started college as a nursing student, because I loved human science and couldn’t really decide what I wanted to do. In my second year of college, I took a microbiology course and absolutely loved it. The professor pulled me aside and asked me what my major was and said that if I ever changed my mind, I could be an excellent microbiologist. I was so excited that I found something that I really loved and had validation that I was good at, two things that didn’t always come together for me at that point (being just 19 at the time, I don’t think that’s an unusual story). I came home soon after that and told my Dad that I was thinking of switching my major and what I wanted to do. He told me that he wouldn’t pay for it (they were paying 1/2 my tuition) and that he didn’t think it was a good idea because I would need at least a masters degree or more in order to be employable in that field. He said being a nurse was a more practical choice. I reluctantly agreed and kept moving forward with my BSN. I got it, worked 8 years in the field, and was very good at what I did, even though I didn’t care for it. (I was taught to always do your best no matter what it is). But I was not happy. I haven’t been a nurse for 18 years. He was wrong. He didn’t know me best. I learned through that experience that when someone gets that lit up about something, let it play out. Who are we to predict futures? Even for our kids.</p>

<p>My parents finally gave in…they said as long as I stick with it, I can do it with their blessing. They’re really not paying for anything, so all I was looking for was their blessing. With regards to cosigning for loans - I don’t take out private loans, only federal loans.</p>

<p>Best of luck to you, you seem to be a good listener and advocate of your needs.<br>
Please spend some time pouring through these posts, take notes, learn about what is required of you with this audition process, set up an organizational system for keeping track of application deadline, video audition submissions, special theatre days at the schools you are interested in. Study this process as if you were taking a course. Hold off on posting lots of questions and instead take this forum on as a place to study the process, go to the individual websites of the colleges and keep notes, set up spreadsheets. We can be most helpful here with specific questions once you’ve done this kind of research. A lot of people here a pulling for you. If you are motivated and persevere you can do this!</p>

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<p>Federal loans alone will not get you to the finish line. I think you as a student, can only borrow $5,500 the first year, and not a ton more in subsequent years, without your parents being involved. Somebody correct me if I’m wrong please. </p>

<p>As a matter of practicality, I believe you will need to widen your search to schools that are not located in a big city. Those schools tend to be among the most expensive if for no other reason than the real estate there is expensive thus so is housing, salaries tend to be higher, etc. and the tuition will reflect that as well. You may have better luck with schools that are relatively “close” to a big city especially if you are a really strong student.</p>

<p>I assume you are still a dependent. When a college evaluates the financial aid they will award you, they will not care if your parents have decided they are not going to help you pay for college, they calculate what they could pay, willing or not and award accordingly. So if they are not going to pay anything and you qualify for little aid based on the FAFSA and CSS, your best bet is to find a school that:

  1. Is a low cost bargain in the first place.
  2. Is known for generous merit or talent aid assuming you’d qualify for either.</p>

<p>There are several excellent schools that meet that criteria but are not near a major metro and maybe a couple that are kind of near but the real bargain is for someone who is in-state. SUNY Purchase is an example. Even for out of state students, compared to other acting programs of similar quality, the tuition is a bargain. But you will stay pay dearly for housing and combined with the out-of-state tuition will put you close to $32K/year unless you get some kind of aid. </p>

<p>I’d follow mom2gals advice and spend some time reading through this forum and other sources to research solid acting programs with a track record for being generous with merit/talent aid and do so with a wider view about location. Any state schools in Maryland that could do the trick? How about neighboring states that might offer a state for state reciprocal tuition swap if what you want to study is eligible? That would be a great place to start for someone in your situation. Good luck!</p>