I'm sort of getting confused...

Paying for College
1

<p>OK, so I received a generous financial aid package from Yale ($0 parental contribution, the whole shebang). However, I feel that I still just don't understand how financial aid works and I wonder if I'm doing something wrong.</p>

<p>See, every semester, I have money left over on my account (about $2200). It is part loan money and part federal grant. This is the money I was planning to live off of (for the first semester, I wanted time to get adjusted before I started a job), but now I find that it is quickly evaporating as my family is in worse financial straits and I am helping my Mom pay the rent.</p>

<p>The financial aid office keeps on confusing me even more. Last time I went to withdraw cash, they told me that I owed them $500. Just as thoughts about how I was going to tell everyone I knew after this huge deal that was made of me going to Yale that I was going to have to come home, they tell me no, I have about $700 left. However, I am still confused as how they came to that figure. I'm pretty sure that I have not withdrawn $1500 since September. Then they tell me that I am borrowing too much, and then the another one tells me that in my financial situation currently, I am borrowing exactly what I need.</p>

<p>Ugghhh...I am so confused and my Mom refuses to go over the financial aid statements with me because she says that she just doesn't understand stuff like this and is afraid of making a mstake. I need help!</p>

2

<p>Unless you live at home and some of you financial aid package is allocated for this rent, you cannot afford to pay any of you parents rent. </p>

<p>It sounds like you need to thoroughly understand how this works yourself. Take time to sit down and read whatever materials are available. Then tell the aid office you are lost and need someone to sit down and explain the system to you so you can manage your money in the years to come.</p>

<p>This would be a travesty if you had to leave school because you didn't take responsibility for understanding and just taking out what is allowed.</p>

<p>Keep a separate notebook for financial transactions. Keep notes by date. Each time you withdraw, write the date and amount (maybe note the primary uses of the $$, too). Each time you speak to the office write the date, the name of the person and a sentence or three of what they tell you. This way you might be able to tell someone a straight story, because right now, you are unintelligible.</p>

3

<p>"See, every semester, I have money left over on my account (about $2200). It is part loan money and part federal grant. This is the money I was planning to live off of (for the first semester, I wanted time to get adjusted before I started a job), but now I find that it is quickly evaporating as my family is in worse financial straits and I am helping my Mom pay the rent."</p>

<p>I agree with Bettina. You can not help your parents pay rent. Your loan money is to pay for your college costs. Once it's gone, you will be up the creek. Think about it: If your parents are in need, you'll be able to help them more if you stay in school and get your degree. You won't be able to help them very much if you drop out. Minimum wage doesn't stretch that far.</p>

<p>I strongly suggest, too, that you talk to the financial aid office about your situation. They can help you figure out how to budget your money. They also may be able to tell you about agencies where your parents can get financial help or help with their own financial planning.</p>

<p>You also need to read your scholarship/loan info. If you are bright enough to be at Yale, you are bright enough to understand the materials.</p>

4

<p>Okay, I apologize for my post being so disjointed, but I typed it rather hurriedly. I was just sort of naming a couple of incidences that demonstrated my general ignorance of what was going on. I see how it may be hard to understand. I've gone over my statements, and I've realized they have been sort of advancing me money since my Pell hasn't come in yet (they say it arrives late in the term). I should keep records of how much money I withdraw, but usually when I withdraw money I ask how much is left. That's sort of where I've been getting confused, I guess, because sometimes they tell me the money that's left without the advance and sometimes they tell me the money that's left with the advance.</p>

<p>I think I need a more reliable source of money and have applied for four jobs. The problem is, however, that I'm not really qualified to do much. I don't really have a working knowledge of computer programs outside of Word. I have held three office assistant jobs since I was 14, but they involved mainly errand-running and filing. But these jobs that they offer for undergrads require much more. Every time I put down my qualifications I feel so horribly inadequate.</p>

<p>My grandmother has told me to stop worrying about what's going on at home, but I feel that that's easier said than done. My mother and I are very inter-dependant creatures (come to think of it, she really doesn't have very many friends outside of me) and I cannot be happy if she's not happy (and vice-versa). So, even if the rest of my family disagrees, I rather withdraw from Yale and go bus tables than have her default in rent. That's how I feel.</p>

<p>Anyway, it doesn't need to come to that, I just need to sort things out a bit. What really confuses me is the borrowing part. How much is too much to borrow? And how can one person say that I'm borrowing too much when someone else tells me that if I'm using it for self-sufficiency, I'm borrowing just enough?</p>

<p>I know my mother is not an idiot and if she stopped getting so intimidated and just attempted to look things over with me, she could help. I know if she made it through life as a functioning member of society, she can help me sort out financial aid information.</p>

<p>Thank you both for your advice.</p>

5

<p>Keep notes by date. Each time you withdraw, write the date and amount (maybe note the primary uses of the $$, too).</p>

<p>This is excellent advice, because you would be suprised at how quick you go through money especially when you go to the ATM machine in the morning and are boke by the time the sun goes down but you really do not know where you spent your money.</p>

<p>I had my daughter put all of her financial transactions in a simple excel spreadsheet. Don't be intimidated by it the tutorial can help you a lot.</p>

<p>That way you will be able to sort like transactions, convert everything to graphs, pie charts so you sam see what percent of your money is going where. She could see fluxuations in her spending.</p>

<p>Just set up columns for</p>

<p>Books, laundry, food, copies , misc (name the item)</p>

<p>hope this helps</p>

6

<p>"My grandmother has told me to stop worrying about what's going on at home, but I feel that that's easier said than done. My mother and I are very inter-dependant creatures (come to think of it, she really doesn't have very many friends outside of me) and I cannot be happy if she's not happy (and vice-versa). So, even if the rest of my family disagrees, I rather withdraw from Yale and go bus tables than have her default in rent. That's how I feel."</p>

<p>I suggest that you use Yale's counseling center, which I hear is excellent.</p>

<p>Your priorities are very skewed. Clearly, if you drop out of Yale to wait tables, you would not be in as strong a position to help your family as if you were to get a Yale education.</p>

<p>There are plenty of jobs that you could do now -- while being in school. Check the jobs' office at Yale and check with local temporary agencies. Yale's jobs office probably has things such as office work, babysitting (lots of local people probably would be thrilled to have a Yale student babysit their child), tutoring, etc. Check the classifieds, too, in Yale's student paper. I do not, however, recommend that you accept any job that would require you to work more than 10 hours a week. Doing more now would probably hurt your studying.</p>

7

<p>Did you take care of your health insurance situation or is this part of the problem? Do you qualify for some form of federal or state disability money?</p>

8

<p>Candi, you really should understand every bit of your financial aid. Because you do not, you should make an appointment with some at financial aid that can sit with you and your file and explain it all. If that person does not understand something, he needs to find someone to explain it to both of you. This is essential, as you can really paint yourself in the corner about some aspect that you may never have understood. </p>

<p>As for your family situation, it is difficult to come up with any advice. I know how you feel. We have had to subsidize many family crisises in our lives. But often immediate needs need to defer to the future. You have to make this decision yourself as to how much you can subsidize your family without jeopardizing your self too much. Adding you to their stew is not going to be as helpful in the long run. You may be doing this for the rest of your life, so it would not hurt seeing a counselor that may give you some new perspectives on your situation, and helping you sort out when you should step into the picture. Ultimately, you will be the one drawing the lines as to when and how much you should remain involved.</p>

9

<p>Yes, my health insurance is taken care of, I guess. I mean, I am now full Medicaid and can be seen at Yale-NH. However, there are so many restrictions on and hassles concerning the current full Medicaid plan (hardly anyone is still on it, it's mainly sub-contracted), that my mother suggested taking a collection from family members next year to purchase Yale's health insurance, which is much more comprehensive.</p>

<p>I'm curious, when you mean counselors, you mean financial aid counselors, correct? (Pardon if that's a silly question.)</p>

<p>I don't think connective tissue disorders meet Federal guidelines for disability...but I'm not sure.</p>

<p>I have recently (as of last week) applied for office ass't jobs, because that's where I feel the most competent. I pored over babysitting applications (because I love kids), but they are looking for people with professional experience and references. I also applied for a tutoring job a while back and didn't receive it. I just hope the ones I apply for pan out.</p>

<p>I am going to work out a way to keep track of my money transactions on paper. It just makes common sense. I know a large portion of my money (besides going back home) goes to buy food. I don't buy junk foods or go to restaurants often, but I do buy and eat tons of groceries. Since May, I've been steadily losing weight, but am hungry all the time. When I went to UHS (for the umpteenth time, for multiple reasons), they told me that I need to see a specialist to find out why I keep on losing weight (but I don't think they believe me when I say I eat incessantly, they perhaps think I'm starving myself). I am currently 112 lbs., I haven't been that weight since I was about 12.</p>

<p>Also, when I stayed in the infirmary (long story), when I spoke of my family situation, they also suggested I see a mental health counselor, which I must say I'm rather leery of (considering my family's history of such, an even longer story).</p>

<p>I am very sure that things will work themselves out entirely when I get a job. I pray that I get a job.</p>

<p>Thank you to everyone for their input.</p>

10

<p>I think that you could get help from both the financial aid office and from the college counseling office. You are feeling very emotionally torn with wanting to help out at home, and also wanting your education. Talking to a counselor could help you figure out your options, which are, I think more numerous than you realize. </p>

<p>My experience with having gone to an Ivy is that many people were thrilled at the chance of an Ivy student babysitting their kids. The parents assumed that if a student was at an Ivy, the student was likely to have good grammar, and to be intelligent, reliable, be a good role model, and to have the smarts to handle emergencies and other concerns with kids. Many parents would trust an Ivy freshman over an older person with more babysitting sitting experience but possibly substandard English skills and not a lot of confidence in making decisions in emergencies.</p>

<p>You also could tell your professors and TAs that you are looking for babysitting jobs. They probably know people who are looking for responsible sitters.</p>

11

<p>Candi,</p>

<p>If you go to your career services office, you will see postings for babysitting, some on a regular, some on an occasional basis. Daughter does it occasionally and says it pays betwwen $10-15/hr which really helps out in a pinch. Also at the career services office you will find a listing of workstudy/non workstudy on and off-campus jobs. If work study is part of your FA package, the office is very accomodating in letting you know which offices have openings. If possible the library is a great place to work withthe exception of finals when it can be a bit busy, you check in/out books and sometimes get to take care of some of your own studying</p>

12

<p>Candi,
I just saw your closed post on the GC situation. I am concerned, and sent you an e-mail with some thoughts and advice. If your filters rejected it, but you'd like to see it, post, and I'll e-mail it again.</p>

<p>On a different subject, if you'll be going to the Harvard-Yale game, I'll be there cheering on the Harvard side. :)</p>

13

<p>Hi Candi - I hope this works out Ok for you. A couple suggestions ...
* there are tons of jobs on campus that do not require experience (almost all the jobs that work-study kids get) ... cafeteria, library, book store, office support, etc. As mentioned earlier I would not go past 8-10 hours a week or it might effect your studies.
* I second the idea of tracking your expenses in Excel (it will work much better than on paper after you get it set up) ... it sounds like you should also track your income sources to be sure you know where all your money is coming from and when. I'd suggest sitting with a financial aid person to review this and make sure you have it right. (BTW - please don't feel self-conscious that this might feel hard to do ... we're suggesting you develop a full blown personal budget which maybe 10-20% of adults actually do). You're in a bit of a tough spot but I'm sure if you understand and track the situation you'll do fine. Good luck!</p>

14

<p>Candi, </p>

<p>Please check out the counseling center. Because of Dr. James Comer, an African American therapist who is one of the country's experts on issues involving African American students, I think that the center staff is probably well trained to help with the kind of issues you are facing. </p>

<p>Yale in general is also very well known in issues involving psychology/psychiatry. If you have concerns in this area, the best time to work on these is in college. Getting counseling will be cheap or free, it will be relatively easy to work in your schedule (far easier than when you have a fulltime job and employment), and you are in one of the best spots in the country for obtaining very high quality mental health care. There are probably few other places in the country as knowledgeable about how to help students with the kind of concerns that you have. Please take advantage of it. </p>

<p>I also replied to your e-mail.</p>