<p>Hugs to you and your D Southern Hope–as you said its a deferal not a rejection but AGH! As you said at least you have U Chicago early, if my D gets deferred or rejected tomorrow we will have to wait until April, not sure I will make it!</p>
<p>Columbia also sent regular mail for rejections and over night mail for those accepted. Applicants figured it out if you were to call FedEx, UPS the night before to give your address and origination zip code (Columbia) they could tell you if you were getting a package. So many applicants called, some reps were telling the students congratulations if they were getting a package. Columbia used different express carriers each year, so some people would actually wait outside of the admission office to see which carrier showed up. </p>
<p>I’ve been on both sides, too. The thin envelope deferral with my D and with my S, the big moment acceptance. When we were waiting for him to find out this time, I felt like I was going to vomit. My husband said–you are going to miss all this suspense! Uh, NO. So glad that’s over.</p>
<p>Southern Hope–it will all turn out well. My D is incredibly happy at her school!</p>
<p>Hoping for some yesses for your D. </p>
<p>They end up somewhere, so take it easy and enjoy while they are at home.
What they do at college will determine their future not the name of the place.
Best wishes!!!
It was a fun time for us!</p>
<p>Hey, want to hear an update? </p>
<p>It’s been the proverbial roller coaster.</p>
<p>Deferred at Georgetown
Accepted at Northeastern (and with the 4-year Dean Scholarship so it’s viable for us)
And the big shocker. In at uChicago! Though with no aid whatsoever (we don’t qualify for need…and D’s stats aren’t strong enough for merit) so while it’s fun to celebrate the news…january will be the cold awakening…my D knows that its not viable…and i’m hoping giving up her spot early will make room for another.
7 left to go…</p>
<p>Congratulations!</p>
<p>Yes, it is hard to have that “we can’t afford it” talk, but it is reality. </p>
<p>I agree with giving up the spot so that another student can get some good news, however, I think it is helpful to her to hold on to a spot until she is settled with the news. I think it is tough to make them deal with that and the let down at the same time. I don’t mean keeping it for a long time, but enough time so that it isn’t as hard emotionally. She may want to talk about the decision or the finances again so that she understands better. </p>
<p>It is wonderful to know that another student is happy to get the spot, and it is good to give as quick notice as possible, but it may not feel that way if the student is grieving at the moment. </p>
<p>I don’t think it is right for a student to keep several positions that they have no intention of attending, but if a student is emotionally not ready, I think it is OK to let them come to terms with it. </p>
<p>Re giving up a spot. Is this something that we need to do? For every school where we receive an acceptance but will not enroll? Or is this ED only?</p>
<p>ED schools are the only ones that require it…but i figure, why hold back on another kid’s happiness? 
We know we can’t afford it (and D is cool with that…she understands) and letting the space open now will perhaps lead to one specific applicant getting it…ya never know…</p>
<p>We have similar scenario with schools we can’t afford. What do you do? Write admissions saying thank you but I will not enroll due to financial constraints?</p>
<p>I actually spoke with a very candid counselor in the uChicago office…who said in essence (he did not use these words at all that D barely scraped her way in stat-wise and she would literally not qualify for merit aid…i appreciated his honesty. much of their aid is need-based (but then triggered by merit) and we are the classic donut-hole family…we make too much to receive meaningful financial aid but we make too little to pay for a private college. All in, uChicago is $66,000 a year. </p>
<p>Thanks so much. Sorry, I wasn’t being clear. S was accepted at EA school with no merit offered, despite high stats. We do not qualify for FA and are unwilling to pay full tuition at this extremely high priced school. In order to “give up the spot”, would he write admissions a no thank you letter?</p>
<p>Oh…my guess (only a guess) is that it varies school by school…in the case of Chicago, i called the admissions counselor and then will use his email address to formally withdraw (but not until january)…but I believe the acceptance lettres will give more detail. In the case of Northeastern, I believe we were given an address to send a decsion should D attend another school…</p>
<p>For some colleges, you can decline or accept via the student portal, and some colleges send a paper out for the student to sign with accept of decline. Except for ED schools, students have until around May to decide, but they may do so earlier. Declining as soon as you know you will not attend is a courtesy to the school as well as the student who may be anxiously hoping for a spot. </p>
<p>When to do this is individual. I’ve known of students with several choices who just can’t decide- and sometimes wait to visit the schools again, attend an accepted students day or just take the time to figure it out. In general, one should not decline a spot until one has other offers in place. </p>
<p>Sometimes merit scholarships are determined after acceptance, so unless one is absolutely sure this will not happen, it is OK to wait. </p>
<p>If it is absolutely certain that a student will not attend then it is courteous to give up the spot a soon as feasable. I think it is also courteous to write the admissions office and tell them why. Sometimes they ask where the student is attending. Admissions has spent time considering the student, and so, I think they appreciate a response. E mail is fine- something from the student saying they will not attend because the cost is not feasable, and will plan to attend a school that is more affordable. You can thank them for the acceptance.</p>
<p>For SouthernHope’s D, it seems she is OK emotionally with the decision, has an affordable option, and so can decline when she wants. It is good that the finances were discussed before hand. A student who has just received the news that she can not attend and is upset probably needs some time to adjust before writing that e mail. </p>
<p>Got it. Thank you. </p>
<p>I think only the top 15 pct qualify for merit there, they aren’t huge with merit, like Duke, say.</p>
<p>I’m not quite sure what that last comment meant, but based on recent CDS reports, Duke offers approximately 60 merit-based scholarships per class. It targets an entering class size of 1705. Of those 60, there about 18 Robertson Scholars, between 18 and 20 AB Dukes, a similar number of BN Dukes, and a couple of other scattered awards. Under the terms of the Duke Endowment, the BN Duke is awarded only to students from North Carolina and South Carolina. Each of those awards is very generous, but there aren’t hundreds of them. </p>