<p>As many of you know, I thought my daughter had decided on an absolute first choice where she would apply ED. Well, now she's having some second thoughts about applying ED. While she's saying that it's because she's still not sure about the art programs at this school, I suspect that it is also because she's suddenly getting nervous about going far from home, or maybe even just nervous about leaving home, period. Luckily, this school also has an EA option. Looks like she will need more time before committing to a particular school.</p>
<p>So, I'm wondering if any other kids are going through this sort of last minute doubt, both about applying ED (even if it may mean the difference between getting in and not) and about applying to colleges in general. She actually got to the point of saying she was going to chuck her entire college list this week and start over with schools closer to home.</p>
<p>Boy does that sound familiar, Carolyn! We leave tomorrow for Redlands with our son, who decided to stay closer to home after having Earlham as his first choice for several months. Of course, just last month he admitted that he now thinks Earlham was perhaps the better choice (arghh!)...but having received the summer mailings from the Johnston Center and talking to his roommate to be, he is excited about his upcoming college experience.
Unfortunately there is no one clear, right answer for most students selecting a college and the teenage brain does poorly with uncertainty. I think the best we can do is help them look at the possible pluses and minuses and then support them in their choice. Ultimately any of the choices your daughter is looking at will offer her ample opportunities to engage and blossom. I think the pressure of the process of selection and application can really be overwhelming. If she does go ED, the key is to revel in the joy of getting off that pressure-laden track and avoiding the second-thought doubts that successful kids and parents are prone to have. I look forward to seeing what school she ultimately chooses (must admit Earlham remains a strong personal favorite!).</p>
<p>Sounds normal to me. The person whom I know who's delighted to be at the college your D is considering ED to loved the college, but decided not to apply ED -- just in case.</p>
<p>After she got her acceptance, she was thrilled, but hesitated up to May first to decide whether to commit. Then, over the summer, she was still a bit nervous. Once she got there -- quite a distance from home -- she has been delighted with her experience.</p>
<p>It's sort of like when any of us make a big purchase -- a house, a car. Most people tend to rethink the possibilities up to and even after the purchase. These types of big decisions are definitely worth lots of thought and reconsiderations.</p>
<p>I hope it's normal because this is how I feel all the time. I'm not applying ed/ea, but sometimes I feel like I don't really want to go far away, and other times I just want to get as far away as possible. It's pretty much why I'm not applying ED/EA because I don't fully know what I want yet.</p>
<p>This is so common a situation as the reality of going to college and leaving home starts to really hit. I'm assuming that the early application deadline is Nov. 1, no matter which college she decides to, right (unless she is also applying to schools with rolling admissions). This means she has two more months to come to a decision. In the meantime, she can line up recs, and consider her essays. Unless the writing prompts are wildly different, she will be able to reuse them.
And she should also consider applying to a school closer to home, just in case she does end up changing her mind.</p>
<p>When my older S was considering colleges, he was interested in CA. His GC laughed and said: "They all start at the other side of the country, but when push comes to shove, they stay closer to home." Sure enough, by the time he applied, the colleges were all within a two-hour driving distance from home.</p>
<p>Marite,
My son DID end up on the other side of the country (CA) and it looks very likely he will be staying there for at least the next few years after graduation next June. If he had gone to school on the East Coast, I doubt he would end up in CA right after graduation. I guess that's how life happens.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone. I just reassured my daughter that this was normal and she was relieved to admit her feelings of fear out loud. So, Celebrian, you are definitely NOT alone.</p>
<p>Sierradoc, if you get a chance, could you PM me? Daughter is now taking a serious look at Redlands and the Johnston Center so I'd like to keep in touch.</p>
<p>I looked at the list of colleges to which our hs students had applied and there were very very few colleges in CA. My younger S got admitted to Stanford but decided he liked snow, so he's going down the road--a 15mns. walk.</p>
<p>Last year son waited till the day before we left to express his second thoughts. It has to be common because at the ceremony for new students and family on move-in day, the Dean addressed many of my son's last minute doubts.
Sierradoc, I hope you had a chance to attend one of the summer programs for the new students-it was very helpful for me. I am not certain how familiar you are with the area but Home Depot, Costco, Target, Best Buy are very close. I ran into lots of parents at Home Depot on move-in day when I bought son's cinder blocks. Son is moving in Wednesday and will be participating in some orientation activities. He will be going up alone. We will bring up some of the heavier stuff on Friday. He has a small Scion Xa but says it will hold enough till we are free to help and use my SUV.</p>
<p>Well, by now I think everyone knows how I feel about ED... so my feeling is that's great news. Yes, from a parental standpoint its frustrating (though you can't be too upset at the possibility that your d. will stay closer to home, can you?) -- but from the standpoint of the student -- it means that she has seen the wisdom of keeping her options open. Why lock herself in? </p>
<p>I think it is wonderful that Earlham also has an EA option, because that gives your daughter the best of both worlds: a chance for an early determination from Earlham, while at the same time being open to exploring other possibilities. </p>
<p>I know that my son did not really begin to think about college selection until the fall of his senior year, and my daughter did not seem to take ownership of the process until very recently. In May and June, she was telling me to just pick out schools that she would like for her ("You know me. You should know what I'd like.") Within the past 2 weeks she took over, honing down her list to a rather eclectic list of 15 possibilities. </p>
<p>What happens during senior year is that thoughts of going off to college become more real; there is more talk of college at school coming from teachers and peers, and their views and ideas also influence the student's thinking; the type of information received from colleges becomes more focused, and often more personal: a telephone call from a student, a letter or brochure describing offerings of a particular department that the student expressed interest in. As the fantasy starts to merge with reality, it all changes...</p>
<p>So be happy. :) Your daughter is really making the best possible decision she could. Which is simply to keep the doors open for herself.</p>
<p>Carolyn, this is minor, but those people who apply early, feel kind of sad in the rd rounds when their friends get multiple acceptances. There are a lot of what-ifs during this period, especially when people get into schools that are supposed to be very selective. The ED people miss out on a little excitement.</p>
<p>I am not promoting or speaking against ED, as it has advantages and disadvantages, but the flip side of dstark's comment above is that students who are accepted ED have a tremendous amount of stress removed from them during their senior year, as they do not need to fill out multiple applications and go to multiple interviews. For students with very packed academic and EC schedules, this is a definite plus. My D's senior year was much more manageable because of her ED accpetance.</p>
<p>Reading all these posts I would favor EA and rolling admission schools unless my D fell in love with one school and needed ED to help her chances. If I wanted or needed aid would not consider ED nor would I consider ED if acceptance was likely. So much could change between applications and acceptance and commitment I would be hesitant to use ED</p>
<p>I'm so happy we didn't fall into the ED trap. I'm just about as happy that SCEA didn't come through. D would not have applied to some of the schools, including the one she is attending. Trading off FA also has some definite advantages even for 'need only' schools.</p>
<p>Whether having gone ED makes you happier or sadder definitely is an individual thing. My S sailed through his senior year, not stressing when everyone else was. We don't have the kind of hs where everyone gets a bunch of cool RD accetances, so in our case there was nothing to be jealous of.</p>
<p>My D's experience was similar to Garland's son's, both in having a stress free senior year and not having many peers who got multiple exciting RD acceptances. ED was a positive experience for her.</p>
<p>I would not say S had a stress-free senior year as he worked really hard to the very end. But having an acceptance by mid-December did make for a stress-free Christmas season. And he could not care less about multiple acceptances: he can only attend one college after all, and he was not looking for trophies. BUT he was very sure that his EA choice was the right one for him.</p>
<p>There's no one-size-fits-all here. My kid applied ED to a "likely" school that he loved; had no desire to take a chance at one of his reach schools. He never had any doubt, and certainly never envied friends getting RD acceptances - in fact he felt bad for them as they sweated it out to April. Now he's happily moved in at the school, thrilled to be there. ED isn't right for all, but it is a very good thing for some. I applied ED years ago, and 30 years later am still sure it was the right choice for me.</p>
<p>ED did make for a pretty stress-free senior year for my son. But he still had to have ALL applications in by Dec. 1 (his school's rule), so it didn't lessen his workload any.</p>
<p>Marite; our sons are so much alike! Mine also thought seriously about Stanford and applied, thinking the distance was no problem. But when the closer-to-home EA acceptance came , he became increasingly sure that he wanted to stay in the East, so much so that he withdrew the Stanford ap (no need to seek acceptances that he was sure he would turn down, and we felt that once he was certain about his choice, that was the right thing to do). I agree that its very common to reconsider these issues of distance as time moves forward and they become more real.</p>
<p>My S tried to withdraw his Stanford app several times! Still, he received a thick envelope on April 1 which he left for me to open, as well as some recruiting letters and emails, up to the end of April.</p>