<p>This has been unexpectedly more stressful time than I anticipated--I thought it would be easier since my older child went through the admissions process three years ago. My son got deferred from his first choice and is anxiously awaiting the decisions in April. He has worked really hard--great GPA, activities, but test scores could have been a little bit better-- and I hope that colleges see that. This mixed in with scholarship applications and so on is driving me nuts. My husband stays very calm but I just have visions of thin envelopes from his top choices come April. :( Would love anyone's advice, support, etc. Is it just me?</p>
<p>To paraphrase St Thomas - "Lord let me worry about the things I can change and not worry about the things I can not change - and give me the wisdom to know the difference between them."</p>
<p>No, it isn't just you. I went through the process last year with my S and D is going through it right now. It is perfectly normal to hope that colleges will see the very best in our children. My D was deferred from two schools and accepted to two, one of which is rapidly becoming her top pick. It is a process and we just need to be patient; I'd suggest eating lots of chocolate.</p>
<p>I'm not stressed about admissions, I'm stressed about financial aid. But we won't know that for months, so I'd better take a chill pill!</p>
<p>I'm quite stressed about the merit aid packages that do/do not accompany any acceptances my S receives.</p>
<p>We're not that stressed. My son has been focusing on interviews. I told him this is Life Skills 101. He'll be having job interviews or pitching himself or his company later in life, so might as well learn. He researches each school to have two or three things to say regarding Why X and researches the interviewer. He dresses for the event and is figuring out how to a) send a resume tactfully; and b) write a thank you note that works. One interviewer now working as an alumni interviewer but who had worked in her college admissions office before said his thank you email was one of the better ones she'd ever gotten from a student and that he was a thoughtful writer and person (talk about positive reinforcement). Concentrating on how to do that well has probably been a good diversion.</p>
<p>But, he's having surgery in a couple of days, and it will take a couple of weeks of not very much fun to recover. That has been and really will be a real diversion from any stress.</p>
<p>I won't be in this position until next year but I'm sure it will be stressful. Much like the info gathering phase I'm in now my aim will be to play it cool with my kid but ask a lot of questions and fret here. Thank goodness for CC!</p>
<p>Out of curiosity, when do students find out about merit aid? When must a student tell a college yes or no?</p>
<p>Kate, even if they get merit aid (it is usually included in the fat envelope), they do not have to reply any earlier than the regular decision crowd does!</p>
<p>I am so thankful for this website cause without it I wouldn't have had DD apply to Tulane and we would be sitting here with 0 acceptances and no merit money. Instead we have an acceptance and a 24k scholarship and we're off to visit Tulane this afternoon to see if she'll like it (and to take a break after her 6 midterms and 0 degree weather). In the meantime, the other applications are all in and we might not hear anything until March (although hoping for scholarship interviews at 2 of the colleges). It definitely would be a lot worse without an acceptance.</p>
<p>About a bottle of Crown Royal a week from about mid Feb.</p>
<p>I was kind of hoping for a light year of getting acquainted with the admissions process and the various colleges, so that I could be a thoughtful and useful guide to my S, now a junior.</p>
<p>Two bumps in the road. First, S doesn't understand why now is the time for him to enter into this thought process ("Why do I have to do the campus tour at X NOW?") Then, along with all of you, came the economy from hell that is writ quite horribly in CA, to the point I've had to ponder what the class offerings might be his Sr year!</p>
<p>My coping mechanisms, interestingly enough, are both active and escapist. The active part includes conversations with the school board president about my involvement in a possible parcel tax campaign. The escapist is to dive into more fiction reading, even the ultra light "beach read" stuff. This combo works for me.</p>
<p>You, and he, have done everything you can, and now it will work out however it works out. The thing to try to have now is faith that he will end up in the right place eventually.</p>
<p>And just a note: not all acceptances come in fat envelopes! Bard, for one, sent a thin one.</p>
<p>My second son has grown up a lot during this process. However, we are much much more worried that we cannot afford to pay our EFC this time after dealing with four years of paying Duke. My son is a prince and will be in good spirits even if he gets a few waitlists/rejections. He has a great outlook. My shoulder went out like three days ago. For us it is not worry over where he will go to school but more "how will we pay for it". He has applied for many merit programs but so have many other equally worthy students.<br>
I wish we had saved more! Telegraphing those of you out there who think you can make it without savings for college! Be conservative, save save save if your EFC will not get you need money.</p>
<p>F2, wouldn't it be nice if we could telegraph all those with babies, to tell them to start saving now!</p>
<p>Our approach was to wait for a choice #2, when choice #1 did not happen (we were not stressed out, which has helped tremendously during interviews). It worked, and at the end, we believe for a better. It seems to be wise to think that everything in life works out for the better.</p>
<p>We are in a pretty decent financial situation but I did discuss with my son what we would do if we didn't have the income that we have (which could decline). He volunteered that he could go to U. Mass Amherst where he has free tuition (assuming he is admitted). He also could go to McGill as a joint US/Canadian citizen at very low cost. But, I discussed how we would make other adjustments first.</p>
<p>We do hope to hear from U Mass Amherst, so he'd know he was in at one school. He doesn't want to visit any schools (other than the two he's already visited) until he knows where he's gotten in.</p>
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<blockquote> <p>About a bottle of Crown Royal a week from about mid Feb.>></p> </blockquote>
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<p>Don't bother buying the booze. Save the money each week and you'll have enough in the bank to pay for your kid's books for his freshman year...and maybe more.</p>
<p>Shawbridge, we also had the "what if your dad lost his job,etc." talk with our senior D. We told her that we would need her to go to XYZ University--would she be OK with that? She said, Sure. Thank goodness for academic AND financial safeties...This is the year that it turned out important to have them.</p>
<p>daily doses of chocolate :)</p>
<p>This last little bit of waiting for results is definitely testing my nerves. Then on to nerve wracking choosing which college to attend…</p>