impressed

Colleges and Universities A-Z Oberlin College
1

<p>Finally have time for a few comments after orientation and dropping off our student . . .</p>

<p>1- a good thing for the students that orientatation lasts as long as it does . . . many opportunities for interaction among different groups with different interests and students seemed busy making connections</p>

<p>2- didn't have much time to sample the Town, root beer floats at the ice cream place aside . . and the AC in the Oberlin Inn bar (it was in the 90s) </p>

<p>3- the "dealing with loss" session for parents was great . . . the convenor -last name Ross? - did a great job of giving both experienced and "first time leaving kids at college" parents practical advice on how to interact with their kid to encourage more self-reliance . . . the student panel was invaluable: two examples: they answered the questions "I can afford to bring the kid home at Fall Break OR attend Parents' Weekend, but not both; what should I do" and "what do you wish your parents had done differently in your first semester?"</p>

<p>4- high marks to teachers as advisors both formal and informal; lots of great help in music, math and balancing the schedule . . . quote from our kid attending first session of an American Studies class: teacher's words "were like spun gold"</p>

<p>Kei</p>

2

<p>I missed those sessions…what were the answers to the questions you wrote?</p>

<p>Very impressed with the school overall. Advising has been great so far for my child…</p>

3

<p>I have the same question. I missed the Letting Go session while trying to get the car repaired. I met a distraught mom at Gibsons who filled me in on part of the self-reliance speech. Any Cliff notes available? I, too, am very pleased so far. My D is loving it. Classes, teachers, students and dorms are wonderful. I hope it all stays that way.</p>

4

<p>I had a more mixed reaction to Orientation. While I thought there were a lot of sessions that included parents I felt there should have been more activities planned for the kids alone, especially later in the week. The amusement park was a great idea but it happened only at the end of the week. There didn’t seem to be much else that was fun going on beforehand. Maybe it’s just because my D isn’t living in a freshman experience dorm? And I also felt, given the heat, it might have been nice to have some of the initial sessions in an air-conditioned venue.</p>

5

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<p>LOL. Not a chance at Oberlin. Last year there was a freshmen orientation session in Finney Chapel which, of course, is without air conditioning. Parents were desparately fanning themselves, but the sweat still glistened on faces all around the place.</p>

<p>It’s great to hear from parents of new students. I’m glad you have a positive impression of Oberlin College. It’s a great school. My D is a sophomore. I was there over the weekend helping her move into her new dorm. If you new parents ever get out to North Olmsted and Westlake, you’ll find many more things to do. When I visit, my D likes to stay with me in my hotel in North Olmsted, then we head for the upscale shops, movies and restaurants at Crocker Park and Promenade Shops in Westlake, about six miles from the hotel. Great place to hang out. If you can resist the expensive stores, there are a few things to do that don’t cost a lot of money.</p>

6

<p>There’s no air-conditioned alternative to Finney that seats as many people.</p>

7

<p>grnj and POTO Mom: </p>

<p>Here are my Cliff Notes from the “Letting Go” session:</p>

<p>Main themes for parents: </p>

<p>• OK to be in touch at your child’s pace, which will probably be short communications w/o all the detail you want – appreciate the 2 minute call between classes or the short texts- those man they want to be in touch with you, and that’s a good thing
• The kids need to hold it together (act older) in the school community and may vent a bit (act younger) when they talk to you; when they do , be an active listener, not the problem solver; your job is to support your kid; their job is to solve the problem: “I hope you can find a way to figure out how to __________________ because I know how upsetting it is when __________________”
• When they call you upset with something . . . “don’t panic with them”
• They will process things quickly; the thing that you will obsess about for days after getting a late night call from a weeping child will most times be virtually forgotten by them 2-3 days later . . . so don’t panic with them
• Procrastination: the quarter moves quickly and will catch some kids unaware; when you get that call: “I hope you can find a way to figure out how to get your studying back on track because I know how upsetting it is when you feel like you’re falling behind”</p>

<p>The 2 questions:</p>

<p>“I can afford to bring the kid home at Fall Break OR attend Parents’ Weekend, but not both; what should I do”
3 of the 4 kids said emphatically “bring me home”; they were excited as frosh but missed home – some desperately – and it was better for the student to be home for a week to reconnect than it was to get a shorter visit from a [parent in the midst of all the school activities</p>

<p>“what do you wish your parents had done differently in your first semester?” – sent more short notes, packages, cookies; it was great to see something in the mail box </p>

<p>Miscellanea:
One question from a parents whop was worried that their fairly straight-laced kid would go a little wild with alcohol and drugs was “ is there a lot of pressure to drink”. The answer form all 4 students was “no”, that the culture accepts not drinking as OK. They said that the pressure they felt to party was self-generated, that if someone wanted to go a bit wild there was opportunity to do so. One of them described herself as doing just that, but by sophomore year it got old: “it was the same people, the same music, the same drinks, the same lame conversations so I just grew out of it</p>

<p>If your sense your kid IS in some sort of trouble DO call the counseling office to give them a heads up, and they strongly recommend that you also let your kid know that you called. Then the counseling office and the kid will work things through</p>

<p>An integral part of being in college is your kid strengthening his or her ability to handle problems as they come up. Parents have a key role in that process by offering support and love for the kids as they learn to use the resources around them to solve whatever problems they have. And that will be HARD TO DIO, because we want to help our kids with what ails them. That’s why active listening is so important: it provides that undergirding support while encouraging the child to grow toward greater independence by handling those problems: “I hope you can find a way to figure out how to __________________ because I know how upsetting it is when __________________”</p>