<p>So I tried moving out and immediately my mother pulls out all the big guns. Says that if I wanna go then I have no help from her (not that she helps now) and that I can't come back, and that I have to put the car under my name and pay insurance. As is I pay car insurance (plus any and all repairs), bills to my parent's current home, cell phone, and any other expenses. I understand that leaving will cost more money, but I'm so tired of my parents (I only have one, so bare with me). They keep me around so I can watch over their oodles of children and I just can't do it anymore. I'm so tired and all my life they've kept locked away. I'm friggin' miserable and I can't hold anything, but friggin' contempt for my parents. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do. As long as they can force themselves into my life, this is basically my life.
Anyhow, what's it like having two parents? I only have a very oppressive mother and several younger siblings. What's it like to have a regular size family that doesn't worship the friggin' welfare? What's it like having parents who support your college education for reasons beyond their own selfish desires? What's the world like? I'm just so tired of being stuck with my family every single moment.
Most importantly how do you guys do it? I have summer fees, insurance, and bills. How do you guys all pay for it? Loans, a second job? </p>
<p>I just read your other thread. Look, don’t move out right now. But since she urged you to go to college, then go. And stay for the day; that is, stay at school between classes and study in the library or student center or head straight to your job after class. Bring a lunch and/or dinner if you’re tight on funds. Come home at 9 pm shower, go to bed and read, repeat. If my son weren’t able to go away to college, I would expect him to be gone a lot if he were commuting to campus and working too. </p>
<p>Passive nonresistance to your mom (and I’m guessing stepdad, since you say “they”) is probably better than an all out arguing. Remember that you cannot change them, only yourself.</p>
<p>Your college should have some actual counselors somewhere (besides the career center you mentioned). Find one. Also see if there’s a club or two on campus you can join and make new friends. Life looks better when you have someone to talk it over with.</p>
<p>At first glance, the behavior of your mom (or at least the description) resembles narcissistic personality disorder, especially with the overreaction to moving out and the oppressive nature you mentioned. If you think it might be that, there’s a fairly large community online of people who discuss how they deal with their NPD parents (many are in similar situations-college/high school). If not, then it’s still worth checking out for ways to deal with these kinds of situations. And as Picapole said, finding someone to talk to can help tremendously.</p>
<p>Stop focusing on how you don’t have two parents. Two parent doesn’t do jack squat if their both controlling and manipulating. </p>
<p>I only have one parent: my mom. She is loving, caring, selfless, humble, supportive, and intelligent. Her love for me has taught me to love not only myself, but her and the world. You asked for how we do it…well, she works hard to make sure me and my siblings don’t have to work our way through college. We’re very grateful for that. </p>
<p>If you are not just venting, and you are about done, then get your finances in order, the car loan, the insurance so it’s all on line. My kids have done all of that. Then if you have a job, and a place to live, pack you things and leave. Do it before you have a blow up and leave helter skelter, pell mell and lose some things. </p>
<p>If you truly have a benefit important enough for yourself to stay, then you need to learn to take it. Do you need her to fill out FAFSA for going to college? Is that enough to take all of this. Join the military or something if it’s getting to a breaking point. </p>
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<p>It sounds to me like you might be financially better off living on your own. If you can find cheap rent it might be the same as those bills you pay on your parent’s current home. It would certainly be more rewarding to be independent rather than paying other people’s bills.</p>
<p>As for your mother paying for your car insurance or phone bill once you move out - that seems pretty silly! I too have a single mother, but she is very normal and supportive, and there would never be any question of her paying for those things. </p>