In extreme denial about wanting to drop out

<p>Hello everyone. This is my first time posting on College Confidential. I wish I could say this was a happy thread, but that's not the case. I'm a new student to college and am in my first semester. I was doing fine early on in the semester, but things are starting to take a turn for the worst. To begin with, I had to take remedial math classes. Which is fine with me, but the sad part is I'm struggling very heavily with that class. I'm doing fine in the rest of my classes, but math is absolutely killing me. I've tried studying more, getting tutors for help, arranging for help directly from my professor during office hours and several other methods. However, I'm doing worse then ever in the class. We frequently have quizzes in our class before midterms. Early on, I did great on the first set of quizzes. Then came the first midterm. </p>

<p>I got a 60% on it and ever since a downward spiral started. I was utterly shocked and confused when I got a 60% on it. Emotionally, I was absolutely destroyed and I was extremely upset. I remember taking the exam and thinking I had done great. Needless to say, after the first midterm I immediately started consulting tutors and my professor for additional help. The next set of quizzes came and I bombed every single one of them. I would literally get the quiz and it would seem like I was looking at a foreign language. My second midterm eventually came around and I did absolutely awful on it. I got around a 16% on it. I found out my overall grade dropped due to bombing the exams and I was failing the class too. By this point, the amount of stress I was feeling was at an all time high. I felt like it was hopeless for me to keep trying. Yet, I got over my disappointment and continued trying. I studied more, consulted tutors more and just kept trying to do the best I could. I have my third mid term coming up and this is going to really be the one that probably determines whether I will pass the class in the end or not. Since I only have a few days after this mid term to be able to withdraw from the class. What do I do? Do I risk failing the class and having that on my record forever or withdraw and do the whole thing over? Emotionally, I feel like just completely dropping out of college.</p>

<p>Ever since about a week or two into college, I've just been very miserable. I've felt very demotivated to go to class or study. I just don't have any interest in the material I'm learning and it's very hard for me to put in an extreme amount of effort when I feel this way. It's been two and a half months now. The first semester is getting somewhat close to ending and I'm still trying to do the absolute best I can to maintain sanity and somehow survive my first semester. I have felt that the only reason I ever went to college was primarily out of fear. Several people I know had been pressuring me to go into college. Telling me that it was the only way to make a decent living or that I would have an incredibly hard life if I didn't get a college education. Deep down inside myself though, I just feel like college isn't for me. I'm struggling in a remedial math class and math is everything. Without math, my options in majors are extremely limited. Beyond this remedial class, I have another I have to take before I get to a class that I get actual credit for. Problem is, how am I supposed to get past the even harder classes if I'm failing the current remedial math class? </p>

<p>Just thinking about it makes me extremely sad and it makes me feel like it's going to be impossible. I'm doing well in my classes aside from math, but the stress and depression I'm experiencing are making me just want to completely drop out. I do not feel like fear should be the factor that is motivating me to go to college. Nobody should be going to college out of fear for what may happen in their future. College is supposed to be a place where people learn and try to better themselves. Yet, here I am. Every single waking moment of my life worrying about how screwing up in college could have extreme consequences on my life in the long run. How it could affect my chances of ever getting into grad school if I was going to get that far, how it would limit my job options, how I might get stuck working a job where I'm losing sleep every night wondering if I'll be able to pay bills etc. Deep down a part of me is telling myself to just drop out, but I am in extreme denial about it and am telling myself it's somehow going to be okay. When in reality, it seems my chances of passing the set of required math classes I have to take are slim. I don't blame my professors or anyone else for my set of problems either. I fully understand and realize I can always do something better, but I'm so stressed out over what to do. If anyone can just give some advice please do. Thank you very much.</p>

<p>I know how you feel… if it were me, I would drop the math class and try again next semester if you can still drop. Your performance so far puts way too much pressure on the next exam & final, and finals are usually not easy. But, miracles do happen. I once moved my grade from F to C- in one month through extreme hard work (and the blessings of a kind teacher). </p>

<p>The stress you show means that you care, which is good. However when stress and worries lead to depression, that is very bad. Your story reminds me of what I used to be like because I had many of the same thoughts. I got over the depression by changing my mental approach to school. Whatever happens (win, lose or draw), I’m going to give it my 100% effort and I’m going to be satisfied of the result with no regrets. I’m ok with whatever the result is as long as I’ve tried my best. </p>

<p>This would be an example of 100% effort in my mind: Can you honestly say that you did every homework problem? Went to class every single day and take notes? Did you review those notes after taking them? Did you do the practice exams? Did them over again so that you can finish them under the time constraint? If you did all those things and you still got an F, then you can live with it. Otherwise, you keep grinding and working at it. - Good luck ok?</p>

<p>If you are finding Math so difficult and have missed the ‘drop’ deadline, I think you can still withdraw. It will show as ‘W’ on your transcript but not be counted towards your grades and so will spare your gpa. Also since you are a freshman, one ‘W’ on the transcript can easily be explained. You must check with your college registrar to confirm if you can still withdraw. Also do not stress so much, you need to chill if you do not want this to affect other subjects. We all find some subjects challenging. You will be surprised how many get stressed out if they have to write a paper or give presentations.</p>

<p>Also think about switching your major if your current major requires math and more math which is getting you so stressed out. You mentioned you were doing fine with other subjects, then maybe talk to an advisor, to help you work through this. Do not worry so much, there is always a way around.</p>

<p>My post should be number 3 as this a reply and not an opening post. There seems to be some problem.</p>