Indoor Events: Attend or Not?

I’d go but I base that one having had Covid in Jan. Not a bad case. We have recently opened up starting after Jan. 1/2 our immediate family has had it, the others have not. And all have been exposed, many, many times.
My spouse( who hasn’t ever had Covid) flew to Europe two weeks ago with our '22. The '22 also has never had it. They wore N95 masks on the flight. And there were few who did so. They were there for a few days. No issues.

We went to a fund raiser the other day and they stopped everyone at the door. I hadn’t read that one was supposed to test before the event. So we had to do it on the spot.
The kids school which was doing well for 2 years, now has multiple cases over the last month ( more than any other time). We live in an area that got hit very hard in 2020. And again in Jan 2022. I had thought everyone had it already. Don’t know if these are second cases for people.

My dad nearly died from Covid and pneumonia in Jan’22. His opinion is you have to live you life. He’s 87 and thinks staying in is not going to work for him. He likely got Covid at a New Years party with friends. He’s back about 90% and still walks 2 miles a day. Took a while.

My spouse is flying to Europe again next week. I would have gone too but have obligations. Guess at some point over the last 2 years my fear subsided in favor of living with something that’s going to be here forever. And I also think that medically, it’s much safer now than Delta.

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For me, it’s risk vs reward and how much I want to do something. I am eating indoors but only local places that are well-ventilated with people spread out. Part of the reason I do it here is because my community is well over 80% vaxxed and has been that way for weeks so I feel a level of comfort and trust in my community. At my mom’s town? No, I wouldn’t eat indoors. Vax rate is much lower, and masking is practically nonexistent. On the rare occasion I shop, I still mask. I wear a mask if I go through a drive-thru. It’s just no big deal to me as this point. I don’t feel particularly restricted in my current life.

Now, I am less than a month from putting this to the test. Ds2 has gotten us all-access passes to the tour he is working when they come here. It’s a stadium show so depending on the weather the venue will be open-air … or not. I’m hoping it is, but I will go regardless, because it’s a once-in-a-lifetime event and I want to see my kid in action and it’s our anniversary and I know that everyone on this tour, performers and crew, are required to be vaxxed. In fact, ds had to send a copy of OUR vax cards to get these passes. So, while I will be in close proximity to a lot of people, I know they are all doing what they can to protect themselves, and I’m willing to take the risk.

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It’s interesting to see all the different responses here.

I’ve just had my second booster. I am up to date about the current infection rates etc… I know the second booster isn’t particularly effective against omicron, etc… I know that vaccinated and boosted people are likely to have a lower viral load and likely to transmit a lower viral load.

I’m pretty much living a normal social life, but yes, I consider the people I am around.

Flight the other day: masked the entire duration of the transit and plane time.

Gathering with a number of unvaccinated strangers at my family’s house: I chatted for a few minutes to be polite and headed to my room.

Gathering with close family the next day, almost all of whom are vaccinated but not all boosted: I stayed the whole time and didn’t wear a mask. It was a risk I was okay with taking because it’s family.

Restaurant with friends: no mask, but I live in a highly vaxxed area. Still always feel a tad aware of the risk, but normal life wins out over isolation, for me.

Getting together with close friends, all of whom are vaxxed and boosted: no worries at all. I want to be normal. I’m aware the vaccine won’t stop me from Covid. At this stage, my mental health comes first.

Grocery store, museum, crowded place: always a mask.

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My 86 year old mother broke her hip a week ago and had surgery. Has been in the ICU due to low blood pressure. As soon as she is able, they will be transferring her to a rehab center. That is where I will worry even more about Covid exposure.

My opinion…it isn’t hard to know what is still risky. It’s (for me) harder to determine whether I’m willing to take a particular risk or not. I tend to ask myself, “If I end up getting covid after doing x, would I regret that I had done x?” and find it helpful. There are risks I’ve willingly taken in the last two years (centered around gathering with family and/or things that my D’s have needed to promote their mental health) that I would not regret if one of us had ended up with Covid. There are plenty of things I’ve just declined, because it wasn’t worth the risk.

Good luck in your deliberations - I think we’re all a little sick of being on-the-fly actuarial scientists at this point!

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What would it take for me to return completely to normal?

  1. Regularly updated vaccines. I am a bit frustrated why there aren’t omicron targeted vaxs out yet. It seems we will always be 3 steps behind.

  2. easily available anti-virals that anyone can obtain by going to a minute clinic/urgent care when they test positive, similar to the flu if the flu shot fails. However, that would also require #3 below

  3. Good rapid tests. It seems that so many omicron positive people don’t test positive on the rapid tests. It takes the PCR to confirm.

I do realize that my risk for really bad things is low; however, I really don’t want to have to deal with blood clots, permanent lung damage, etc. So I will avoid lengthy crowded indoor gatherings unless I feel I absolutely have to, and then will mask. But otherwise, I feel like my life is pretty close to normal. I don’t like crowded indoor events anyway!

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Yes! That’s what I do as well! If my kids gave me covid, I’d be OK with it. If I caught it because I had to go to a crowded work meeting where few people were vax’d, nobody wearing masks, and people coughing all over the place… I would never forgive my employer. And then there’s a whole range of situations in between.

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Please check the rehab out before they send her. When my Dad had Covid & Pneumonia they planned to send him to rehab. We found out the only places taking former Covid patients were ranked extremely low (ie they were dangerous). We kept my Dad at our houses. He’s fine.
If your family member is like my Dad, he’ll be weak when they let him out of the hospital.

Thanks for the advice. I am in Boston and mom is in Washington State with my sister. I will pass on your advice to her.

My Dad was in Boston too. I’m going to message you.

Agree this is the key thing. I don’t think it will get much better for many years and there’s every possibility that things will get worse at some points (eg a more severe variant emerges). We had this debate last spring and again last fall, and both times a lot of people were in favor of leaving it a few months, canceling trips etc, but things got worse not better during that period.

I particularly don’t understand the fear about unvaccinated young kids (and desire to wait until they are vaccinated to do things) who are by far the least likely to suffer severe effects and actually may benefit from building up natural immunity just as they do against other cold and flu viruses. Many countries have chosen specifically not to vaccinate young kids because the risk of side effects can outweigh the benefits, especially for boys.

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I just went to the ER with H. I wouldn’t have been admitted to the ER waiting room if I hadn’t had my vaccination card showing three shots. Everyone was masked. H was tested for Covid and his vax card was checked.

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I would likely decline. I have a close relative who is immune compromised who lives alone and I’m her closest relative. We also have an infant in the family and for those reasons I’m cautious.
We don’t dine inside but we do eat outside at restaurants. I’ve attended several outdoor events and while I feel slightly uncomfortable I’m good with the decision.
Our hospital checks vaccine cards at the door and requires one to wear a fresh mask. Visitors are limited to two “unique” visitors a day. The visitor policy is constantly changing. All medical facilities require masking.

I like the risk/reward approach. My elderly mom, who lives with me, has a lot of health issues and we’re just not willing to delay living fully waiting for something that is very unlikely. Covid is here to stay. So we are not reckless, but she is enjoying as much as she can while she can - traveling again, indoor fine dining, sporting events, movies, concerts, and the theater. She went to my daughter’s graduation ceremony and party and will be going to my brother’s big birthday bash, which will be indoors. She is fully vaccinated and boosted and will get another booster next month. She wears a mask at indoor events.

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For me, the fear for unvaccinated young kids is the real life/real time accounts from the pediatric doctors and residents I work with of sick kids in primary care offices, ER’s and hospitalized. I don’t need anything more to convince me (or the families of these sick children) that kids can and do suffer severe effects.

Studies, sure. Data, sure. But hear a few real life/real time cases and it hits a little differently.

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I believe we are now at the point with Covid that everyone has to make up their own minds what they are comfortable doing.

My parents have booked 3 trips for the next year after cancelling numerous trips for the past 2 years. They are both vaccinated and boosted and wear masks when they are inside and will wear masks when they are on planes. I understand that they want to do things now since they missed out on travel for two years and they don’t know how much longer they will be able to travel with my Dad’s back issues.

Right now in my area (Sothern California) so many of us are suffering from really bad colds. My H’s head cold ended up turning into conjunctivitis which he had to go to urgent care for. My cold gave me a terrible ear infection and we know at least 10 other people suffering severe cold symptoms the past few weeks. I saw my mom yesterday and she now has the terrible cold. This is just to say that we are living in a time of colds, flu and Covid and we all have to do our best to adapt and feel safe.

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We all know this already, but my spouse was telling me this morning about someone she works with went on a cruise in January, got Covid, and hasn’t been back to work since.

So, for some humans, this is not a cold, flu, measles, strep, etc., and those don’t appear to be mutating every few months.

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I push back when someone calls it “fear”. I’m not fearful. But I am not the parent of my grandchild so I don’t get to make the rules as to who can and cannot be around an unvaccinated newborn. I have friends who keep telling me “stop being afraid, you need to live your life”. This IS my life right now- and going to mah jong or book club to listen to a neighbor complain about life vs. time with a grandchild- nope, grandchild wins. Keeping a mask on in the supermarket- not exactly an invasive or painful procedure.

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Regarding flu comparisons…

In the US, it looks like Omicron COVID-19 so far has been about four times as bad in terms of number dead (about 210,000 since December 1, 2021) compared to bad flu seasons (about 50,000).

Of course, there is also the matter of long COVID, but knowledge of risk of that is still kind of murky for various reasons. But also note that long flu exists but is widely ignored, although a comparison study found it to be somewhat less common than long COVID.

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Four people I know telling me today that they tested positive in the last day or so is not helping me be “comfortable”!!!

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