Would you go without your child?

DD20 attends a College Preparatory school 5 - 6 hours from home. She was awarded a Presidential scholarship at a school which covers full tuition and fees. This school has invited her to a Scholarship Reception hosted by the President of the school and his wife. The available dates are on a Tuesday, March 10th and Thursday, March 12th in the evening. DD20 is already flying home March 6-8 as she is a finalist for another scholarship at a different school and was invited to attend an Assessment experience (if she does not attend she is not eligible for the highest possible award but will be eligible for other scholarships). Her flight coming home for spring break is March 12th in the early evening.

My question is, would you go to the reception without your child to demonstrate that you are interested (which we are) or would you just decline since your child can not make it?

I would just politely decline if she couldn’t make it.

The reception is for the student. Parents are invited as guests of that student. If she can’t make it then she should send a note thanking the school for the invite and stating why she can’t make it. IMO Parents should not attend in lieu of the student.

Yes, I already informed her that she should respond to the invite personally but was informed by a friend that we should attend. I just wanted to get opinions.

I would have your daughter send her regrets. I would not attend instead of her.

Ok, I’m feeling it’s like having a friend who is invited to a wedding. She RSVP’s to the wedding but is allowed to bring a guest (Me). My friend changes her mind about attending but I go anyway. Sometimes you just have to pass situations by others to check your thinking.

The invitation was extended to your child, not to you. I would not attend the reception and would have my child politely decline.

I’d encourage her to do more than simply decline. A short explanation of circumstances and a clear display of continuing interest would be a very good idea.

My kid could not attend a scholarship weekend at her number 2 college choice because it conflicted with our state all state music festival…and she was in that.

She wrote a very nice note to the scholarship weekend folks declining but saying she would love to revisit the school another time. They offered to have her come the following weekend, and essentially did a private scholarship weekend for her. They saved all of her hand outs and swag, arranged for the interviews and tours she would have had the previous weekend…basically rolled out the red carpet.

She told us that it was a hard school to let go…but her first choice was her first choice.

@thumper1 - Thank you for sharing this. We are already scheduled for the admitted students day at the end of next month. At this point we, the parents are more excited than she is because we are still waiting for RD from several schools.

If the only thing stopping her from going on the 12th is the flight home, I’d eat the airline change fees, have her go to the reception and bring her home with you (if you’d go to the reception with her).

@Chedva -I wish…The transportation from her school can not get her to the airport until 2:45pm because it’s a half day of school and they take all the students at one time. The flight prior to this one is 2:53pm, definitely not enough time. Her school is over an hour from the airport. But thanks for your response because it made me look back and check why I had booked the flight that I did.

If the person who was invited can’t attend, I don’t think their guests should go to the event either.

@austinmshauri I agree.

I say send your regrets, if for no other reason than an entire evening of, “Which one is your daughter?” and “What brings you here?”, doesn’t sound worth the dinner and wine. Things happen. They will understand if she is unable to attend. It will be fine.

Is there any way that she could fly there instead of home on the 12th, and meet you there? Or could she just miss the 9th, 10th and 11th school day as well, if she is coming home from the 6-8th and planning on coming home again on the 12th?

@mommdc - I really tried to work it out but being a boarding school kid she has missed so many days already with college visits, fly-ins and the school has been very acommodating, not to mention that Physics is a monster for her this year so missing so many classes probably wouldn’t be to her benefit. We decided not to go, she politely declined and wrote them a really nice, gracious note of appreciation, letting them know that she can’t wait for admitted students day when she will be on spring break. Thank you so much for trying to help me figure this out.