I’m still not happy my dad goes to church and potluck lunch with a bunch of anti vaxxers but I can’t do anything about it.
My MIL’s new AL facility has very few Covid rules - I think limited dining room capacity is about it. I only saw one staff member with a mask in the 4 days we were there. No rules for visitors. H & I are not pleased, but his mom is fine with it, as is his sister, who told us how great it is that they don’t have “those ridiculous Covid rules” the last place had. His mom tells us she’s lived long enough, so she’s not worried. As much as it bothers H, he isn’t going to fight about it at this point. He wants to enjoy his time with his 95 year old mom. We wear our masks & get funny looks, but we can deal with that.
For an assisted living facility, wouldn’t maximum COVID-control with minimum inconvenience (in terms of people not wanting to wear masks and the like) mean having every visitor and employee take a rapid test immediately before entering?
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Yes, I agree that things like car rides with people who we know (but happen in a tiny confined space) are far more risky than grocery shopping (with high ceilings, giant volume of space, reasonable spacing and excellent ventilation). It’s easier to be careful and mask up in places like grocery stores than amongst loved ones, but being close with loved ones is far riskier!!! But I can’t live in fear of my loved ones…too much to handle for years on end….
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The previous facility required masks for all staff and visitors, and every visitor & staff member underwent screening upon entry (temperature & questions), to protect patients to the extent possible. At one point, we had to submit proof of vaccination to come inside (although I don’t know if that is still in force, since we had all submitted when first asked to do so). They were doing what they could to mitigate risk to patients, while allowing them to be able to mingle with visitors and each other.
Thank you. I was just trying to say you can do everything right, but can still get clipped.
We have to live lives alone to be fully safe but then one can wonder is that living ?
If the world shut down for two weeks. Truly shut down. It’ goes away. Right ?? 
I’ll test in two days. Definitely exposed but hopefully I’ll get lucky.
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I haven’t had COVID period yet and neither anyone in my immediate family. I read even people with the N95 mask still get COVID. I just a precaution on my part, but I’m not excessively worried about it. It’s better than nothing.
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It’s a real insult to use terms like “live in fear” “get back to life” and “it’s like a bad cold/flu” - Covid is a real thing, and has killed real people. I lost 2 people who were very dear to me from complications brought on by Covid. There are people masking, distancing and choosing not to attend indoor events for many reasons. I support them, and would never think they are living “in fear.”
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I can’t tell if you are referencing my post a couple above yours, but if so, I think you have seriously misinterpreted my position.
First a little background. I have been vaccinated 4 times, and I also believe I have never had covid. I spent almost a year volunteering as a covid tester when it was badly needed in my state, where we were pcr tested at least twice a week, and since then I’ve done self-testing at least weekly before visiting my mom, so the combination of having never had a whiff of a symptom along with consistent frequent negative tests makes me believe with good certainty that I’m in the small fraction who haven’t had it yet. Of course I don’t judge those who have…as mentioned above many very cautious people have gotten “clipped”, it’s hard to avoid. But I tell you that I’ve never had covid and that I’ve been willing to shell out for tests at an almost absurd level to make it clear I have not been cavalier about this virus.
If you carefully read my post, I was talking about myself. I agree it would be insulting to refer disdainfully to others: “They’re ridiculous to be living in fear!”. That’s not what I was saying. I don’t agree the term living in fear needs to cancelled outright as an insult. I feel very comfortable using the term about myself because I think fear is the most accurate word for what I have felt, in various doses at different times in the past 2.5 years. I can’t think of a better word for the terror I felt when a young loved one jokingly fake-sneezed on me early in the pandemic (not so funny to me) and I had trouble sleeping for days due to worry. I have been very afraid—for myself, for loved ones, for the world at large. I am not embarrassed to have been afraid and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with recognizing that real emotion.
I think the OP was sincerely looking to hear how a wide variety of people are currently thinking about risks and how they are mentally handling it, to help them think through a decision. Why else would you put the question out to a forum that reaches a wide variety of people, instead of just keeping your own counsel or asking a person you know well and has similar thoughts to your own? So believing this to be the purpose of the thread, I shared that while I find it sooooo frustrating, the truth as I see it is that we are probably usually at much greater risk among people we know well and are willing to sit in small confined cars or at dinner tables with for long periods of time, than we are by the strangers we briefly pass when choosing avocados in a cavernous well-ventilated store. I wish it was the other way—my quality of life doesn’t suffer much wearing a mask in a store, but it does if I am to fully protect myself from people who are dear to me. And so I’ve had to work hard to let myself enjoy those people dear to me, despite the fact that I think they pose the greatest risk. I am proud of the work I’ve done to let myself enjoy those interactions, and I believe I’m allowed to talk about releasing some of the very real fear I had felt. I also think it’s interesting and might be interesting to others to hear how some people have altered their mindsets for better or worse as time has gone on.
I agree there are people masking, distancing and avoiding indoor events for many reasons (including very good reasons!). I, too, support them, but I can’t say I would never think they are “living in fear” because I think some of them ARE afraid, and I think there is a legitimate reason to be afraid and I don’t think that’s shameful.
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We all want the pandemic to be over, but it isn’t over. How could it be over if so many are infected every day around the world? Any premature declaration that it’s over only prolongs the pandemic, because it encourages behaviors that help the virus spread, and mutate. None of us want our loved ones who are vulnerable to be infected, so most of us would act accordingly around them. But is that enough? If we help the virus propagate and mutate by our unnecessary actions, wouldn’t our vulnerable loved ones be more exposed indirectly but eventually as a result of such actions by us and others?
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Thank you for this.
We are attending our first large gathering in a few weeks. 26 people. At least 5 have had covid, one of them twice. Includes a family flying across the country with 3 small children and a pregnant mom. Includes two other children too young to be vaccinated (although they will have had shot #1). Includes my elderly and fragile parents, for whom all of this is being done. Everyone is vaxxed and boosted, but does that even help anymore?
Includes my immunocompromised adult son. I told him he would need to decide for himself whether or not he felt safe. His wife and I agree that no matter what, we will have a level of fear. I am not ashamed to say it scares me, even as I recognize we are taking every precaution (the whole thing is outside, the vulnerable will mask, everyone will be asked to test)…but we are in fact going.
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I get it. I have had to make decisions throughout the pandemic that truly scared me (including traveling to/being with FIL when he was dying). Life is scary sometimes, and all we can do is make the best decisions we can for ourselves (and hope for a good outcome).
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But when people use the term “ living in fear,” they are almost always being derogatory. I don’t like its use at all. I compare the situation to crossing a busy road. You’d better believe I’m going to look both ways a couple of times before I cross. And yes, the thought of getting run over is scary but that doesn’t mean I’m living in fear. You may not mean it in a negative way, but you are in a very small minority.
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It helps, but not enough to be as confident as you could be against (for example) measles, or the now-probably-extinct ancestral SARS-CoV-2 that vaccines are matched against.
yeah…it feels like a bizarre 2022 word problem : “If a group of 26 with 3 unvaccinated children gather for 4 hours outside, what is the probability of hospitalization for any given person within one week? What is the proportion of worry vs cavalier behavior? How many cookies will it take to alleviate anxiety in the returning car of 5 people? Please show your work”
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If you haven’t had a booster less than 4 months ago, you should consider getting a booster now. Data out of Israel showed that a 4th dose of Pfizer (2nd booster) gave people over 60, after allowing 2 weeks for response to the dose, immunity for 4-8 weeks, and a significant reduction in risk of death or serious illness requiring hospitalization, when compared to those who had not had the second booster, and were more than 4 months out from their first booster. These results were seen during the recent winter Omicron wave. Who knows how effective the current formulation will be against the current and coming variants.
If you were to choose to go, and you were to contract Covid, it is imperative that you get treatment with Paxlovid right away. It’s widely available in pharmacies, relatively safe, and seems to reduce the risk of serious illness by 90%. Unfortunately, some providers are not prescribing it, out of an impression that those infected with Covid have low risk of serious illness.
Currently, a new Omicron wave is spreading across the country. Numbers of positives have been steadily rising, with 110K new cases reported yesterday, and now hospitalization rates and death rates are rising, too. Keep in mind that many people don’t get tested, and those who test with home tests usually would not be reported. Plus the tests themselves seem to miss cases - I’m hearing about lots of people who don’t test positive until the third day of illness, whether by PCR or home test.
So, under the circumstances, there’s a significant risk of getting Covid now at a non-masked indoor event. You have to make your choice, but if it were me, from what you’ve described, I’d decline this invitation.
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I would have gone last week, but then I was diagnosed with Covid on Mother’s Day. My exposure was likely in the office where I work as a therapist, seeing a few clients face-to-face (KN94 to KN94) every week. The 10-15 people who work in the office on the days I am usually there are very careful but 3 of them got Covid last week. And this week, my turn.
I have been invited to a farewell party on Saturday for very good friends moving at the end of the month, and my fingers are crossed that I will test negative that day. Otherwise, no go.
Fortunately I am feeling pretty good, on Paxlovid plus meds for the bronchitis that took me to Urgent Care where I tested positive for Covid. I was very surprised! I had my second booster a week ago yesterday!
4-8 weeks? I just got my second booster. Was hoping for 4 MONTHS….
The duration of effective protection from each successive (untargeted) booster seems to become significantly shorter.
That may because more recent boosters have been done when circulating variants are further away from the ancestral variant that the vaccines match.
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