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Maybe his lawyer knows the reason why you got less.
My MIL thinks she treats her two kids equally, but she absolutely favors her D & Dās family. She & FIL have always made sure that the kids were treated equally financially, though. However, after FIL passed away last year, MIL had SIL take her to the trustee of her estate & she added some stipulations to a portion of the inheritance that are unfair to H and favors his S/her family. Itās not financial ā¦ itās an unenforceable stipulation on an asset outside of the will/trust. But she did it behind Hās back & didnāt tell him. Itās probably a good thing SIL told H, because if he had found out after his mom dies, he would have trouble handling it. He has time to work through his anger this way. If you are going to show favoritism in your will, thatās your prerogative ā¦ but at least let your family know before they are blindsided after youāre gone.
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Seems like if the inheritance is not something that would matter to your personal finances, you do not have to care about whatever pettiness or mistakes may have gone into the writing of the will that is or may seem unfair.
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The money is beside the point. Itās what the money represents.
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Other than re-evaluating oneās memory of the deceased, how else would it matter going forward?
Or is more of a suspicion (whether or not there is evidence) that the still-living heirs to larger shares manipulated the deceased to increase their shares in the will, and that such manipulation means having to be more careful in dealing with them in the future?
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I have members of my families that use their will to control people. I pay no attention to them and I happily expect nothing. If I get a small token amount, maybe I can buy a washer/dryer set at Best Buy. Woohoo!
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Just a thought as to the discrepancies. You mention he often sent gifts when he didnāt have to. Were any of these gifts to great nieces or nephews? I know in my family, there is a huge difference in how family members respond to gifts. Few of them even acknowledge, much less send thank you notes. If I were distributing my estate to them, while lack of appreciation shouldnāt play a factor, it possibly could.
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I am sorry and I imagine how much it hurts and questions your past relationship. I appreciate your post, as we are updating our will over the next few months and just made the HARD decision to pass everything onto charity if we die along with our grown children. It is unlikely this scenario will happen, but our current will has our estate being divided equally between our nieces and nephews.
All of our nieces/nephews are now grown and we do not feel comfortable leaving that much money to 2 of our nieces/nephew out of 14 - so we decided the only thing fair is to not leave to any of them. We went back and forth on this and could not in good conscience gift different amounts - thank you for your honesty about your hurt and makes us feel better about our new decision about either leaving out or adjusting $ amounts.
I hope you hurt goes away quickly and you can find a good use for the $ - a reward for you 
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There is absolutely no way to let others know āit is not okā without making you look bitter in spite of your statement to the contrary.
I agree with other posters saying that the beneficiaries probably had nothing to do with the distribution, so I canāt think of any up side to trying to make them feel bad or think less of your uncle.
There could be all sorts of legitimate reasons your uncle did what he did that have nothing to do with favoritism that you are not privy to. Itās a shame he didnāt think ahead to the hard feelings this might create, but maybe his mind just didnāt work that way.
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Itās hurtful, and I would want to understand this. First, Iād like to know when the will was written. Was it written 30 years ago when you might have had no kids, and the others had children? Was it written ten years ago when you might have offended him in some way? Was it written in a year where you were obviously doing financially well, and the others werenāt? There is a specific reason for the full share, 1/2 and 1/8. Why would one person get the 1/2 share? I think knowing when the will was written, thinking about the others financial and family situations might be clarifying.
Good point, @busdriver11 ! I also can imagine a scenario (using the same aunt above) where she gave the niece with 4 kids $50,000, the single one $10,000, and the one with twins $30,000. Iow, $10,000 for the neice and $10,000 for each of their kids. There would be a fairness to the giver that wasnāt apparent to the recipients unless it was stated.
OP, I think you can tell the others how hurt you were because you donāt understand it in any other way than he loved you less, and if thatās the case, it feels awful. But beyond how it makes you feel, you canāt say much without being churlish.
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Love the word āchurlish.ā 
It was used in a Key and Peele skit, and Iāve loved it ever since.
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I meant to me. No idea what he sent to the others.
@busdriver11 It was done recently, about a year ago. The one with more kids got the whole, the one who get 1/2 is single, me I have a tiny family but not as tiny as 1/8.
@gardenstategal I know! Thatās why I wonāt say a thing. The thing is I feel awkward to participate family event remembering him happily, What a great uncle he was, his wits, etc because I donāt feel that way any more. I could make excuses and not attend.
Seems like the OP was blindsided by this, and trying to find reasons why you were less valued by your Uncle than your cousins. Maybe they spent more time with him, maybe he disapproved of you or yours somewhat, maybe he thought that they needed the money more?
Move on, is my advice. Donāt let it poison your relations with the living, or even your memory of your uncle. It was not your money in the first place.
I have seen some unfair inheritances in my immediate family. My Dad surprised me, and moved on, but my mother had a hard time letting it go.
I know that I expect nothing from my parents, and will not let any awards from an inheritance sour my relations with my siblingsā¦ I would actually enjoy teasing my well to do sister if she got an outsized portion of the inheritance, even though she kind of deserves it for all the care she has taken of my parents.
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In that case, I would feel slighted. Unless single 1/2 share kid was doing significantly and obviously worse than you financially. At least he left you something, though, otherwise it would be even worse.
I can see avoiding family functions that are given to honor him, but not family functions altogether. Donāt let him screw up your family relationships. I would tell the other two that it really hurt your feelings, but I wouldnāt hold it against them, itās not their fault (unless you think the uncle was manipulated). And then let it go.
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Agree that I would have no problem telling the others that my feelings are hurt. Thatās kind of my thing ā I talk about the elephant in the room.
Iāll give another example. My mother redid her will after our dad died and split everything evenly between us three kids. But she made a point that if my brother, the oldest and clear favorite, were to predecease her then his wife would get nothing, even though it was written in such a way that my dh/sons and my sisterās kids would get a third if my sister and I predeceased her. I had to talk her out of that. Her arguments were valid in her mind but terribly old-fashioned and didnāt really hear how hurtful they were. Her thinking ā¦ One, my brother would leave my SIL his insurance, sheād have access to SS, etc. In other words, he made sure she was taken care of Two, they didnāt have kids so there was no next generation to whom that money would pass. This was passive-aggressive, IMO. She didnāt get grandkids from my SIL so ā¦ The truth is she never has had a super-high opinion of my SIL (was anyone who married my brother going to be enough?), but if my brother saw that in her will he wouldāve been so hurt. Would it have benefitted me financially? Yes. But that money wouldnāt have been worth the bad feelings.
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Did your uncle like one or more of his brothers or sisters more than the others? IOW did he give more to the children of the sibling he preferred?
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@Youdon_tsay - my parents did that in their will so that none of the spouses of myself or my 2 brothers get the inheritance if any of the 3 children predecease our parents. The inheritance is passed on to the grandchildren. My parents have a problem with my one brotherās wife so they decided this was the best way to handle it. I donāt have a problem with this.
I did have to ask my parents not to leave their Southern California home to just me and that it should be split between myself and my two brothers. My parents said they feel like they have helped both of my brothers out monetarily over the years many times and have not had to do that with me so that was their reasoning for it. I asked them not to leave the house only to me as it has appreciated so much and I donāt want hard feelings with my two brothers. They followed my advice.
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