<p>My son gained his university entrance qualification at 14 (we resided outside of US at that time). After went through extensive interviews (grilling???) by his previous university, he was granted the privilege of skipping the first year of university. Therefore, if he stays in his previous university, he would have graduated with BS with Honor at the end of this year. Due to his learning disability/difficulty, he was removed from the mainstream school system earlier. We came back home to US after a natural disaster in the city we resided and my son continued his education at Rice. I know this is probably unbelievable to most of you as it is such a brief summary of the whole story. I will need to write a book if I will to give you all of the details.<br>
Rice doesnt guarantee on campus housing for transfer students. Honestly, after this ordeal of having his belongings stolen in a locked environment, he has become really paranoid. When I mentioned about him living in dorm next year, he told me he doesnt feel safe anymore as locks mean very little here. Unfortunately, my son has a difficulty riding a bike because of his disability. Therefore, it ruled out many of the options. He will need somewhere with public transportation.</p>
<p>To eireann. Would you leave your belongings in a locked room? Yes, my son did exactly what you said; he never left any of his belongings out of his sight in public areas such as libraries, lobbies, cafes and etc. That is the reason he thought he was doing everything right and had never have any of his stuffs stolen before. However, his trust in a locked room really screwed him. Maybe the meaning of a locked room at Rice is different from all of his previous experience.</p>
<p>To jmy626. My son had his cell phone in his pocket when his bag was stolen. Due to being out of job for extensive period of time since we came back, we can only afford a super cheap prepaid tac phone, even I am using a prepaid tac phone right now. I don’t believe there is tracking system in those phones. He used all of his summer earning to buy his laptop and it is gone. It was so painful for him that he was extremely sick with fever for many days.</p>
<p>OP-
While we do not know, and do not need to know, the specifics of your s’s disability, it is very, VERY unlikely that stress causes fever, as you have suggested several times. With all due respect, you might want to take a deep breath and relax a bit. As others have said, there is a dramatic flair to your posts, and the intensity of your response may be feeding his emotional reaction. </p>
<p>Stuff happens. My s set down his backpack momentarily when we were on vacation, with his brand new TI-89 and other stuff in it, and it was stolen. He has had bikes stolen at school, and he was the victim of a burglary (not while in school) a few years back. Lost a lot of valuable stuff/electronics. It stinks, but its not the end of the world. No one was injured/attacked/assaulted etc. It taught him life lessons and to be more careful with things, but he is not “paranoid” or feeling unsafe. The more you dwell on this and/or make melodramatic statements about being a failure, the worse you will make him feel. Your job as a parent is to be supportive and reassuring. He feels bad enough that his stuff is gone. Best not to harp on it and keep opening the wound.</p>
<p>If you want to continue to try to locate this stuff, that is your choice, buit don’t keep badgering him about it. </p>
<p>As for housing, he should be able to get on campus housing as a senior. If not, there is plenty within walking distance, and unless things have changed, Rice students got a free light rail pass which goes right down Main Street.</p>
<p>OP, what, exactly, are you hoping to get out of ithis thread? People are offering sympathy and suggestions. There isn’t a college kid or parent who is going to tell you anything other than this:</p>
<p>We are very sorry this happened to your son. It has happened to many of our kids. The lesson they have learned is never to leave their belongings outside of their sight when they are in public, except maybe in a locked locker. Every college kid carries his entire day’s worth of stuff with him. Your son needs to take a few more steps in reporting the theft and in attempting to recover his belongings. </p>
<p>There are a number of posters who are giving you good resources for replacing his belongings if they can’t be recovered by the police.</p>
<p>I’ve never had a problem leaving stuff in a locked room, and for someone to risk their job that they really need by committing a crime that can be easily traced back to them seems unlikely.
I would question whether my child was really telling the truth about what happened. Perhaps the room wasnt locked, perhaps he left it some where else…</p>
<p>The purpose of this thread was to see if other people have similar experience and to learn from them. Also, I would like to learn what else I can do in this type of situation, maybe somebody can share their experience. Many of the posters did share their experience and I truly appreciate them. Also, after the theft happened, I realized there are probably a lot more issues I am not aware of and nobody at the school will mention them until the issues occurred. For example, if we had heard of valuables can get stolen in a locked room at Rice, this would never have happened. I only realized that I had given too much information and getting myself into a situation that I was never intended when it was too late. I started getting panic but there is no way I can reverse that. I wasnt getting my point across very well. Maybe the reason I brought out my suspicious against the custodian at the beginning is to see if others had the same experience. Of course, that didnt go very well. Then, some forum members started asking questions and I feel obligated to provide more and more information and share my own experience. The thread spun out of hand. Honestly, I am not very bright myself and often feel sense of hopelessness regarding what to do and how to help my son. As a result, I often did the wrong thing. If my thread had offended anyone, I apologize for that. I had been posting message regarding the stolen items on the internet, I believe I didnt identify anybody or the university.</p>
<p>To emeraldkity4. I asked the same questions. However, all the details that I grilled out of him suggested otherwise. His lab members witness that his laptop and bag were in the lab and the lab was locked. Some professors told him that they even had their laptops and valuables stolen right off their office. Unfortunately, my son is not very good at lying. You can easily figure out if he is telling a lie or not, he would either refuse to say a word or telling you the truth, maybe it is because of his disability. Many people had realized that his world is very much different from most of kids of his age. I am not exactly proud of it, actually I wish him to be a normal kid.</p>
<p>Again, the hyperbole may be part of the problem. It is possible that “grilling him” about all these details and repeating over and over about the other reported thefts (dont know when or over what period of time they occurred) or repeatedly emphasizing the feeling of victimization and vulnerability even in a “locked lab”, might be causing or intensifying the anxiety.</p>
<p>Does anybody know how to obtain the serial # of a suspicious laptop listed on craigslist without any sort of accusation? Some sellers only list limited information of their laptop and none ever list the serial #. If I involve the police and turn up it is not the stolen one, it seems like I will be getting myself into trouble again.</p>
<p>God grief. It really is not as hard as you are making it. You email the seller, tell them you are interested in the laptop that is for sale, ask for more specifics about the laptop’s model and specs, and ask them to email you a photo of its serial number.</p>
<p>concernparent-
Again, I’m sorry for your son’s loss of his belongings. I do think, at most universities, it’s never wise to leave your belongings in any room that is not your locked dorm room. A lab is actually a public space, even if it can be locked, as many people use it and many may have keys.
</p>
<p>Valuables can be stolen from a locked room at any university, in any city in any country- especially if that room is one used by many people, such as a lab. </p>
<p>You mention that your son has a disability, but haven’t told us much about it. I gather that is why they carrying of a backpack might be difficult. I think if this were my son,(if he were in college at all, which may be questionable at this point) I would be thinking of ways to lighten his load. He should not be needing to carry books around like kids do in high school, as they are usually not needed for lectures and classes- just for studying later. He can put his phone and wallet in his pockets and put his lunch and laptop (look for a very lightweight one) and whatever notebooks he needs for the day in a small backpack. </p>
<p>You mention that your son is very young for someone going to college, and you sound like a mom who is not very comfortable with your son being far away, having to handle a lot of things on his own. Maybe he isn’t quite ready for the experience. There’s no shame in that. Frankly, if I had a son with disabilities, even if he were intellectually ready, I doubt I would want him to start college several years ahead of his peers. The fact that your son was emotionally affected to the point of illness over losing his belongings makes me think he may not be ready for the rigors of living on his own or attending a university where everyone else has several more years of maturity under their belts. It’s hard to do your best learning when you’re struggling with everyday logistics and life skills.</p>
<p>Thanks, jym626. I appreciate your answer; it gives me a protocol to go by. I wasnt sure if it is okay to ask for serial #. I thought it may offend the seller by implying that it is a stolen item.</p>
<p>Some colleges let you rent or buy a locker. This is common in labs, or student centers, or other places like that. That could be a good storage space during the day.</p>
<p>Many items on craigslist ARE stolen items. Any reputable seller will understand you are doing your due diligence.</p>
<p>Did you say he lives off campus? How does he get to campus?</p>
<p>When I was a commuter, I left anything I didn’t need immediately in the trunk of my car during the day. I went out to my car between classes to switch books, grab my lunch, etc. </p>
<p>When I was living on campus, I didn’t have enough time between classes to go to my dorm, so anything I needed for that day I carried with me at all times. I never left my stuff unattended outside my dorm. It wasn’t that heavy-- what do you need, a folder, a pad of paper or two, maybe a laptop? Water bottle and lunch? Maybe a book or two if you need to study on campus that day? It isn’t typically that much.</p>
<p>An odd phenomenom that this thread reminds me of is when you’re sitting in the library/dorm lounge/etc, and a complete stranger asks you, “can you watch my stuff so I can go to the bathroom?” Why do they trust a complete stranger to do this? I saw this ALL THE TIME in college and I could never understand what people are thinking. You really do have to be vigilant about theft on most college campuses.</p>
<p>His disability is not exactly physical, except his coordination which is the reason he cant ride a bicycle and couldnt play many sports. He also has dyslexia. Apart from that, he is probably more mature than me in most aspects. He actually enjoyed his university life but in a way that is different from kids of his age. He avoids loud and crowded place because he actually got headache or migraine from it. I used to encourage him or force him to participate in those activities, and then he got so ill that I finally gave up. He enjoys doing research and certain club activities and had spent a lot of time in the lab. In his previous university, the graduate students used to joke that he lived there. Given that he spent more than 15hrs at the university per day, he does most of his study at the university that is the reason he carries his books with him. Yes, I was questioning the decision of sending him to university at first, I even forced him to take a couple semesters off after we came back to US, which he spent being a volunteer at a park and recreation center. I believe the reason he is affecting by this ordeal so much is because he realized how bad our financial situation has become and his lost will bring on more financial stress. Things happened in university before, he had no problem holding himself together well in many situations even the dean and HOD in his previous university were commenting on that. I think I am actually the problem. I am usually more a problem for him that anything else.</p>
<p>To waitingforivy. Thanks for your reply. I will tell him to check on the possibility of renting or purchasing a locker. Hopefully, it wont be too expensive if they do have one.</p>
<p>To Emaheevu107. Thanks for your reply. He rides with his father to school around 6:45am and being pick up around 10pm. Yeah, I was asked to watch some strangers belongings in many occasions, sometimes they didnt come back for such a long time that I didnt know what to do when I needed to leave. I was afraid to leave their stuffs behind and risking them being stolen.</p>
<p>Thats a really long day for a student. Does he socialize with his classmates?</p>