Integrating into Bates socially?

Our daughter is a California stem type. A golfer. A bit introverted. She went to visit Bowdoin in a college visit and it was suggested she visit Bates. When in Brunswick a guy running the gelato shop, when asked about Bowdoin he gave a testimonial on Bates. Then, as if on cue, an older guy walked in with a Bates cap the gelato guy says “Hey George, tell these folks about Bates.” And he goes into an even better testimonial about his daughter and son who attended (and he was even wearing a Bates cap). They both said Bowdoin more preppy and Bates more granola. And our daughter is definitely more granola — I was shocked when she wanted me to go with her to buy a prom DRESS. So I went on the tour of both schools with her. I liked the vibe better at Bates but I’m not attending, she is. So any tips on helping her get integrated into the social life? She’ll have no problem with the academics but I am worried about her isolating. And there is the weather to which she is not accustomed. Any tips???

Bates does a good job of helping the first years get to know each other. They make friends from their small 2 day orientation group, the small freshman seminar, then among their dorm floor. My son felt that he had a bunch of good friend connections from these groups. Loves the vibe there.

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I’m a little confused from your post, but your D will be starting in August?

My D is a Bates grad. She was a shy introvert. She had the best four years after a pretty terrible start, but that was her and not Bates. She is very close to her Bates friends still. You can read this and share it with your D if you like. I wrote it to help kids understand that all those feelings are common. To those who feel lonely/homesick/friendless/think they chose the wrong school, etc...

Really, I don’t think your daughter is going to need a lot of help integrating. As a freshman she is going to meet plenty of people at the start because they will plan all kinds of activities to get kids together. I would suggest that she take advantage of anything that’s on offer, and be open to things she might not normally consider. The Outing Club and the Sailing Club are fun ways to meet others and see all the beauty that Maine has to offer. My daughter joined a knitting group and a Chinese cooking class. The multi faith chaplaincy offers some very nice events, if she wants to connect with people in that way. There will be theater, dance, art events, comedy shows, concerts, and college sponsored parties. They like to keep the kids busy.

Re weather, she needs a good warm coat, ideally down filled, boots, hat, and gloves. We got our kid a much warmer winter coat when we visited her for the first parent weekend in October, and she still wears it six years on. I advise against Canada Goose, mainly because Bates kids aren’t typically the kind who like to display the most expensive brands. My D’s is from the Northeast, but her two best friends are from FL and HI, and they both got used to the weather pretty quickly. Your D will be fine.

Bates is known for being friendly and inclusive. It’s a noncompetitive atmosphere. I’m sure she will find her people, even if it might feel hard to do so at first. She will be fine as long as she gets out of her comfort zone every now and then.

P.S. Book a hotel right now for Back to Bates in October. We usually stayed at the Hampton Inn, which is a great location.

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Do you suggest staying in Lewiston/Auburn for parents weekend? As opposed to Portland which is where we will be for drop off. Many thanks!

Absolutely stay as close to Lewiston as possible. We booked too late. Had to stay in Freeport. That was annoying because the price was the same as in Lewiston (as in very expensive for a very ordinary hotel), but we were listening to some great student bands in the evening and had to drive all the way back to Freeport at night.

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