I am quite diverse and have no problem with someone from a different background but Im just curious and a little worried.
So he is a few years older (graduate student), coming here from China and doesn’t have facebook so dont have anything to look through.
His english seems good. The only thing that bothered me was I emailed him to say hi and he emailed back (was polite) that he is excited and that he is Chinese and Atheist. That is what got to me. Why mention your beliefs on the first email?
What do you guys think? Are there any questions I should ask him? I could care less about religious beliefs etc.
If you don’t care about his religious beliefs, then why are you bothered by the fact that he stated his?
If you are concerned, consider writing back about your own religious beliefs and see where it goes.
It’s possible that he wasn’t sure what else to share.
Is it, by any chance, a religious college you’ll be attending? Perhaps he made the assumption that you were religious and that it was something you would need to know?
I counsel everyone to set their expectations for a roommate to just be someone who is vaguely pleasant to be around.
They may not be your best friend.
So I would say to think about: What do Chinese people hear about the US? What is their stereotype? They may very well hear that we religious or Christian and he may think this is a big deal to the Americans.
I know when I lived in Germany their stereotype of Americans is that we are fat and have guns. Obviously that is not the case.
Is your school in the Bible Belt, even if it is not religiously connected? Who knows what he has heard about the US.
Tell him welcome, ask if this is his first trip to American and if there is anything in particular he would like to see/experience in the US. Sounds like fun.
When I was a grad student (American, but the grad school was in Europe) I helped a fellow grad student from China a few times. As we got to be friendlier, he said “I never thought that an American would help a Chinese person”. You really don’t know what he thinks or what his expectations are. Their schooling process is extremely cut-throat, and it is a revelation that students can cooperate and work together (I saw this when teaching undergraduates). He may well come from a family where he is something of a prince- one child and lots of money- or his family may have put everything that they have into getting him this educational opportunity.
@bopper’s advice is good: start with the hope that the two of you can be reasonably pleasant to each and not annoy each other too much over the course of the year. If it turns out that you can be generically friends, so much the better. In the meantime, read Country Driving.
Im not bothered by his beliefs Im just bothered at the timing. I wouldnt go up to a person and say Hi Im XYZ and I am Christian. But now I get it, it may be a cultural thing or he may just be worried that we are all religious here or something.
Collegeman30, your future roommate is probably a bit terrified at the thought of living with an American. There’s a chance he’s had very little real contact with Westerners and even less with ordinary Americans. For him you may be as foreign as a Martian. A little indulgence - and kindness - on your part will go a long way to making him feel more comfortable, and to dispel some erroneous and propaganda-driven ideas he may have picked up in China about Americans. As others said, you don’t have to become best friends. But you could!
