parent's racism

<p>well in a couple of weeks, i'll be attending the freshman summer start program at UCSB which is basically summer school so that you can get familiar with the campus as well as get some units finished with.
i just got my roommate information for the program today and i'll be rooming with an Omar, i was not supplied with a home phone number unfortunately...
when my dad read the letter/rooming assignment, he immediately freaked saying that i cant room with this person because he's most likely a muslim and they are the worst.
housing at sb is done randomly but my father doesnt believe that. he thinks that all the "good" students had the first pick of roommates and i was stuck with the "bad".
he doesnt want me to room with muslims or african americans and i suspect hispanics as well. he said he's going to call tomorrow and ask that i get another roommate. if they dont change my roommate, he said, then he's going to take me out of the program.
my dad is footing the bill for the program so i have basically no say in this and he is also driving me up there =T
so what am i to do? do i try to convince him to just let it go (which i think will do crap)? or do i just go along with his thing?
i myself dont care who my roommate is as long as they dont invade my personal space and steal/use my items without my permission.</p>

<p>i say grow up and stop letting your parents run your life? Good lord. Tell your dad he's pathetic by the way.</p>

<p>Ok, so you're dad is acting really weird, and I don't think it's right. Here's what I think: this time, I guess just let him try to change your room. Meeting your room-mate with your dad would be awkward enough! But if he can't change it, then argue your case...tell him it's good program and not worth missing over prejudice.</p>

<p>And the burgler09 is right. It's your life. Your parents should really respect your own decisions.</p>

<p>I would try to convince him. I'd talk about how part of college is being exposed to different people from different backgrounds, and I'd point out that this is a very short-term event and you don't want to **** off the people who will be assigning you roommates in the future.</p>

<p>If you don't think he really would refuse to let you go, I would also probably call the program and tell them you don't have a problem with the roommate you've been assigned. I think he's less likely to pull you out once you're there with all your stuff. (I might even lie and tell him I was now rooming with someone named Gunther, but I don't recommend that as a course of action. I don't always have as much self-control as I ought to.)</p>

<p>And no matter what, I would go to the program fully prepared to apologize to people for any inappropriate behavior he might engage in toward your colleagues who are not white. (Not when he's right there, but as soon as possible otherwise.) Not because it's your fault, but because you are genuinely sorry that he's treating people badly and because he is connected to you. I'd also do my best to steer him away from any people toward whom he might behave inappropriately. If people understand that you don't condone his behavior and that you're trying not to let him subject them to it, I suspect they will be less likely to hold him against you.</p>

<p>Good luck with it. It's a hard situation he's putting you in, and both you and Omar deserve better.</p>

<p>Tell your dad to stop being an ignorant ****** and deal with it.</p>

<p>But seriously, does he not realize that no school that is a public school, is going to change roommates for any reason other than "This person is a total klepto and keeps stealing my stuff," "This person is verbally or physically abusing me" or "This person stays up until 4am playing loud video games when I have class at 8am every morning", or something else to that effect. Every public school in existence has a policy in place not to look at gender, race, religion, etc. in roommate placements. Your dad is going to lose this one, big time. Did he not realize that UCSB is a big-ish public school in California where there might be, <em>GASP</em> minorities??</p>

<p>Muslim isn't a race.</p>

<p>Jews are though. But besides the point, it might be Osama pretending to be a student.</p>

<p>Tell your father to get over his whiteness cause the way he appears, he is lower than any one out there... I bet a lot of people would not want him as a roomate if he were in college right now. Now he falls into the "bad sack".</p>

<p>lol, and I thought my mom was racist. </p>

<p>And for your own sake don't try and change your dad like some people are suggesting. People with such strong views don't change them in middle age.</p>

<p>"I guess just let him try to change your room."</p>

<p>No university except perhaps a place like Bob Jones would change a room for this kind of reason. All that the dad will do is make himself and possibly his son look like the type of people that the university (which is staffed by many people of the races and ethnicity that the dad doesn't like) would be happy to be rid of.</p>

<p>My advice is for the OP to call or e-mail the university summer program and ask their advice on this situation since they've more than likely encountered it before. In contacting them, the OP should make it clear that he himself is not bigoted, and would like their advice on how to deal with his father.</p>

<p>Even if the father pulls him out of this program, unless the OP will be living off campus with roommates he chooses, the situation is likely to arise again when the OP gets his freshman roommate assignments. </p>

<p>Some people actually do change their racist views even in old age. It can happen, though doesn't happen overnight. So, I hold out hope for the dad, but doubt he'll change his views before the summer program.</p>

<p>Grow up and assert your own moral values.</p>

<p>muslims is bad enough. but 'african americans and hispanics'? really? are we still in that age?</p>

<p>The advice to tell the op's dad to shove it are pretty much useless when the op's dad is footing the bill...</p>

<p>I second NSM's advice- the college will probably have dealt with this before.</p>

<p>NSM always has good advice.</p>

<p>
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my dad is footing the bill for the program so i have basically no say in this and he is also driving me up there =T

[/quote]
</p>

<p>No, you do have a say in this. You’re attending the program, therefore you’re a stakeholder. In general, if something affects you, you have a say in it even if you don’t have the “power of the purse.”</p>

<p>I think there’s a fine line between disrespecting your parents and questioning them. It’s not my place to tell you that you shouldn’t listen to your father. All I can say is that there is nothing wrong with questioning your father; you’re not a kid, anymore.</p>

<p>I agree with NSM too!</p>

<p>guys its OSAMA</p>

<p>Your satirical comments do nothing for this thread.</p>

<p>Ask your dad to have a reasonable discussion with you.</p>

<p>Im going to ucbs too and my best friend is going to do the FSSP too. Im not sure if youve already paid, but it would be a waste of money if you get out of the ptogram because you dad has a problem with who yoore rooming with. I know it starts in a few weeks, and I doubt theyll change your roomate especially when it is so close to starting. You should also help your dad understand that UCSB is one of the more diverse UC's so he shouldnt be surprised if you room with someone of a different race than you.</p>

<p>as a Muslim, I feel really disgusted, first off tell your dad to shut up and grow some balls, your boss could be a muslim or african american, or a hispanic, what are you going to switch jobs cause of your daddy? Tell your dad that you switched out the room mate and your new roommates name is Timothy, Timothy McVeigh. See what he says.</p>