<p>@RobyFeingold- You have just been told to know your place and sit down by an Andover parent. Wow! I thought all PA parents knew good form. I guess I was mistaken! ( Please don’t take it to heart. )</p>
<p>Is it just between PA and DA ? I thought OP was considering Groton, too. </p>
<p>@OP, in case you missed it, there was a recent discussion on “Andover vs Groton” in the Parents Forum.
<a href=“Groton vs Phillips Academy - Prep School Parents - College Confidential Forums”>Groton vs Phillips Academy - Prep School Parents - College Confidential Forums;
<p>The OP mentioned that it was between PA and DA for much of the time, but I believe Groton is still in the running.</p>
<p>What people are missing is how none of these schools is a perfect fit for the OP.</p>
<p>Maybe the OP could just explain why none of these schools is a perfect fit, or what he/she likes and doesn’t like about each? Maybe that would generate more specifically helpful answers. All 3 schools will require lots of work to do well, but I don’t think any of the 3 feel “cut-throat,” according to people who attend each of them. All 3have great matriculation stats. PA may have the most prestige (in terms of international fame), but all 3 are pretty darn prestigious, if that’s what you’re looking for. Still, the 3 schools feel quite different-- so maybe focusing on that “none of them seem like the perfect fit” issue would help.</p>
<p>The Andover headmaster came from Exeter, so Andover is probably pretty good or he wouldn’t have gone there. </p>
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<p>Except that at Andover 1100 students are not eating lunch at the same time.</p>
<p>It’s not like you have no classes before lunch… each block you have something to do.</p>
<p>And I doubt that all 600 Deerfield students eat lunch at the same time…</p>
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<p>Actually, they do.</p>
<p>@skieurope -sorry, that was a mistake on my part.</p>
<p>All of these schools will be as competitive as you want or need. They all offer “harder” and “easier” classes. They all offer “harder” and “easier” sports. They all offer many different types of clubs and activities. Honors track classes will be more demanding than non-honors track classes. Varsity sports are more competitive than thirds level teams. None of these schools would have extended an offer of admission if they didn’t think you can be successful. </p>
<p>I agree with the advice to attend the revisit days at each school. Try to get a feel for where you’ll be most comfortable in as a many different areas as possible. Academics, activities, student body, etc. Think about now, think about high school. As GMT says, this will be your “home” for a large chunk of the next few years. </p>
<p>All of these fine schools will leave you well prepared for college. </p>
<p>Good luck! </p>
<p>Obviously OP is a strong candidate to be admitted to A, D and G. The best chance for ivy is to stay home and be the valedictorian, move to Montana, take up the bassoon, and do a helmet sport. </p>
<p>If, however, the goal is to grow as a person at a boarding school, these three are all great choices and it comes down to fit. Pick the place you feel most comfortable - it will matter. The “competitiveness” will sort itself out; either you will be competitive grade wise (top 10%) or not; athletic, or not. It’s up to you, not the school. These three schools have very similar students.</p>
<p>At any of these schools (or with staying home and taking many advanced classes, being the valedictorian and doing a sport) you should expect to face the limit of your effort and ability. 50 minutes a day of homework per class plus studying for exams and writing papers/projects. Athletic practice. Learning to take care of yourself. Sorting through adolescent issues. Students uniformly report being blown away by the time commitments. Time management and organization will be the determining factor in your success from now on.</p>
<p>Roby, check your logic against the matriculation stats of both schools. There’s a glitch. But in all seriousness, we really shouldn’t even imply that going to PA or DA would make a predictable difference in college admissions. Simply not true.</p>
<p>@robyfeingold posts are fine. Your posts (on this thread and others) don’t reflect well on Andover. Parents shouldn’t behave this way and go after kids. </p>
<p>I want to take a moment to talk about the notion of “sink or swim”. I’ve heard of it a few times over the years on CC, and it seems to me it’s a term “reserved” to describe Andover. And every time when the term is thrown around, somehow it’s used in a way as if it’s self-explanatory and doesn’t need further evidence to support it. But, what does it really mean? As many other families on CC, we researched, toured, applied and revisited a few schools before making a final choice of a BS to attend. In comparison with other schools, Andover does strike us as less structured. Specifically, the differences compared with some other schools as we see are: 1) No centralized and/or monitored study hall (unless a student gets a restriction of any kind or on academic probation, in which case they’d be required to study in a designated area); 2) No restriction in phone or Internet use at any time of the day. I am not sure how unique these are among schools, but can someone who is versed in “sink or swim” tell me if this is what the label means?</p>
<p>I am still trying to think of things - operation and administration wise, in terms of rules, disciplines, structure, review process, and approachability of advisors and faculty, etc. etc. - in Andover that make it uniquely “sink or swim” compared with other schools. Based on my knowledge about BS gathered over time, I honestly do not see them. Looking at the results, for such a competitive school, it has an attrition rate of < 2% and as someone upthread showed most students are doing fine or more than fine academically depending on how you see it. I don’t see the “sinking” happening that much. And then tell me about a school where everyone is “swimming”. There I said it, for the record. </p>
<p>I too would appreciate further discussion of the sink-or-swim climate at both Andover and Exeter as my daughter is now faced with a choice between the two schools.</p>
<p>I agree with y’all that that would be an interesting discussion. However, I believe that should be a new thread instead of a sloppy conversation here on this thread, where the OP has a question that’s getting pushed to the wayside. By all means, please make that a thread, but I think the side discussions and biased school analyses might be becoming a bit much for an OP who has a valuable, valid question about his/her happiness. Just my two cents.</p>
<p>@bsadvisor: It’s clear from your post history that someone has a chip on their shoulder…</p>
<p>FWIW, I’m sure rfeingold simply saw the error of posting under something approaching his/her real name. But that s/he would stand by whatever s/he posted.</p>
<p>@bsadvisor: you have crossed the same line you have accused PhotographerMom of crossing. If you want to be a helpful, contributing member of CC then please do so. I am unclear on your motives here - one post is helpful, the next condescending. It is odd. Most of us on this board are here to try to help others and to gain information on admissions. Many of us stay around as our kids progress through boarding school to help newer member as well as to get answers to things that crop up as the journey through school continues. I think if you spend time reading the past few years worth of posts, you will find that many of the contributors you malign in your comments are, very often, helpful and kind. As I so often tell my kid: you reap what you sow. Good luck to your child in boarding school.</p>
<p>And oh, by the way, there are MANY families here whose kids were admitted to the “top” schools and could very much “cut it”, but chose a different school for their own reasons. Not everyone is swayed by a name.</p>
<p>@ISpy
I agree it would take us off track to discuss sink or swim at Exeter in this thread, so I sent you a private message. </p>
<p>At Andover, I never felt an exceeding amount of pressure to compete against my fellow classmates. Most of the competition at PA is pressure students put on THEMSELVES. Personally, I wasn’t willing to endanger my physical and mental health by chugging caffeine and pulling numerous all-nighters in order to get that elusive 6. </p>
<p>I loved my time at Andover because I chose to see it as a unique and challenging experience in and of itself, with amazing classes, extracurricular activities and athletics, rather than solely a vehicle to get into HYPMS. It’s what YOU make of it. Not how you compare to the other students. </p>