So I got into several boarding schools, and my parents are making me go to the “best” one, according to prestige. What should I do if I want to choose another one? Has this happened to any of you? They said they wouldn’t pay for any other school except this one.
Well, you can try to calmly explain why you would like to go to a different school, but if they don’t accept your reasoning, you’re stuck. You’ll have to decide whether you want to go to the school they’ll pay for.
Sit down with them and tell them why you want another school. Point out to them that you feel you can do your best at this other school. Ask them to trust you and tell them that you will work hard if they let you go where you feel at your best.
All of the schools you are considering are prestigious among those who know boarding schools. (And most people don’t know anything about boarding schools… especially in Mexico).
The prestige of the school won’t help you with US college admissions or with finding a job. (Some people in the US might even assume you are wealthy, spoiled, or entitled if they see a prestigious prep school on your resume.)
But your feeling like you fit in and truly thriving at the right school could make a bigger difference in whether you live up to the potential the schools and your parents see in you!
Wish I could hop on the phone with your parents!
(Which school do you prefer?)
@applier1 hopefully you will be able to attend revisit days. I am guessing you were interested in attending all of the schools you applied to- so the more prestigious one wouldn’t be a terrible fit. I would try to understand why your parents feel the more prestigious school is the best fit for you. Keep an open mind and listen carefully. Good luck to you and parents to find the best solution.
Ditto @vegas1 about the revisits. As parents we learned so much through the revisits and attending them helped us become comfortable with allowing our child to attend whichever of the schools our child wanted to attend. These places know what they’re doing; each offers unique opportunities and we had no reservations about the ability of any of the schools we visited to prepare our child for college.
@AppleNotFar @vegas1 my parents will only let me go to the school they want me to go, and they told me to say no to all others tomorrow. @CaliMex I totally agree.
Still, the boarding school they want for me is great, so I think I’ll just comply.
Which school do they prefer? Which was your favorite?
BTW: I grew up in Mexico City and Guadalajara. Moved to the US at age 18 to attend an Ivy.
@applier1 is a full pay kid from a private school–I imagine his parents have a clue about boarding schools. Wealthy people know these schools…all over the world
@CaliMex I’m actually from Monterrey, but I lived in Guadalajara when I was young for about 4 years!
@Center actually nope, not all wealthy people know everything there is to know about boarding schools. I am a full pay kid from a private school and my parents had zero clue what we were going into even though one of my parents went to an “acronym” school. Let’s just dispel that rumor right now.
@cababe97 I didnt say ALL wealthy people I said wealthy people…If his parents only want to pay for “the best one” then they know something about the schools.
I suspect they only looked at some ranking online that put Andover ahead of Choate
There should be no rush on the decision… no need to turn down all the other schools right away.
If your family doesn’t have unanimous consensus, why not attend visit back days at both schools?
When you do the accepted student visit days, you get much, much more opportunity to experience the culture of the school and see how well it is running.
The initial tour and interview visit is a quick look (under pressure), meeting with a couple people.
Visit back days are fun, with a celebratory atmosphere… you get to attend classes, hear from scores of people sharing their experience, mingle with all the students and faculty…
Our rank-order preference of schools changed substantially after visit back…
I’ll say it bluntly, it’s foolish to make this decision based on reputation, or prestige…
The cultures of top schools are always evolving and shifting… how well they are executing on mission shifts… who is there shifts… you have to see for yourself what is happening NOW.
[and to be very clear, not one of your schools will give you a jot of leverage over any other when it comes to college admissions. It will matter far, far more if you are happy, productive, and passionate… you’ll do better at your school for ‘best fit’]
Isn’t it possible that the “great” boarding school they want you to attend is the one they sincerely think is the best fit for you? That the prestige factor is incidental, that they’ve done their homework and are trying to save you from making a bad choice?
@applier1, Go on a revisit day with your parents to the school of their choice as well as yours. Keep and open mind and ask them to do the same…and then talk about what you like and what is missing. The decision should not be on “because I say so…”either from their side or yours…I am sure there are reasons you have and there are reasons they have …try to communicate better and understand each other better. My two cents…
@applier1 Assuming the choices are all in the top ten, then consider this. If you go to the “best” name school, there are likely others like your parents (kids included)going mainly for the name. I saw this on CC earlier. The competitiveness is going to be even more difficult, placing you in a less competitive place when you graduate. If your parent’s goals are IVY league (only guessing here since most name brand folks are IVY only for some strange reason), tell them that coming from x or Y is going to be even harder. Take a look at matriculation. If your parents are already thinking about a specific college look at that school. Does it fit here?
Things have changed. So even if your parents went to that school the days of going from a prestigious BS to an Ivy league are gone. I think many first generation/non-US parents think this route still exists.
I would’t chose for my child. That said, if there were two close schools, I’d let my kiddo decide. I would also force them to look carefully at all of the factors. I am much less impressed by name than I am by action. My spouse and I liked some of the messages at various schools and did not elsewhere. I remember one event when my kiddo gasped and open his/her mouth in shock when told the school had no recognition whatsoever. It came off our list.
I’m going to take a wild guess based on your results and say that they’ll only pay for Andover.
Set your parents up with a CC account now . We’ll take it from there… 
@bjkmom maybe that’s true… I am going to do a thorough analysis on each of the schools and then show it to my parents… who knows, maybe the school they want for me will turn up first.