<p>
[QUOTE]
"Walter said to me the other day, very thoughtful-like, 'Susan,' he said, 'are babies very expensive?'
I was a bit dumbfounded, Mrs. Dr. dear, but I kept my head. 'Some folks think they are luxuries,' I said, 'but at Ingleside we think they are necessities.'"
[/QUOTE]
From Anne of Ingleside, by L. M. Mongomery. Emeraldkity's words reminded me of it. ;)</p>
<p>I would argue, too, that putting children through college, or at least having them receive a college education, is a necessity.</p>
<p>willow_41z,
That reminded me of a Family Circus comic strip from 1991 that is still up on my refrigerator. The father is sitting at a table with a stack of bills and a calculator, with bills and $ signs swirling around his head. He says to the mom, "Do you realize how rich we would be if we didn't have four children and three pets?" The mom, holding a baby's bottle and item of children's clothing, replies, "No, I realize how POOR we would be."</p>
<p>That about says it for me. The kids, and their colleges, may take most of our money, but we are happy to do it, because we have gained so much from having them in our lives.</p>
<p>I think that is great if you have a lot of kids and don't feel that you are shortchanging any of them on the amount of time, energy or money that is needed to bring them to adulthood.
All too often couples don't think about what it actually takes to do so, and the children bear the brunt of their lack of planning.
I have also seen couples spend their retirement money to put their kids through school. bad idea. You can borrow to attend college, but you can't borrow to pay living expenses after you retire.
I just hope that all these families that I have seen this summer with their 4 kids under 6 years old are equally as thrilled with them when they all want to go to college/get married/have implants
More power to them- I know if they were mine we probably wouldnt make it to puberty. :(</p>
<p>Eye lift? I thought that's what really tight ponytails were for.</p>
<p>
[QUOTE]
I think that is great if you have a lot of kids and don't feel that you are shortchanging any of them on the amount of time, energy or money that is needed to bring them to adulthood.
All too often couples don't think about what it actually takes to do so, and the children bear the brunt of their lack of planning.
[/QUOTE]
I guess the question is, would the children be happier never having been born? And who can answer that?</p>
<p>Would the children rather never been born?
When a family can't take care of their kids, when they leave the oldest to take care of the younger ones, when the parents can't cope and abuse or neglect their children because they can't deal with the responsibility- then yes I would say that the children would wish that their parents hadn't taken on something that they couldnt' cope with.
I wish my parents didn't marry and didn't have children- it has been one heartbreak after another.</p>
<p>No, it's not all about the children, but I was responding to your statement about the children bearing the brunt of the lack of planning.</p>
<p>Of course, you know your daughter better, but I wonder if she really thought about it, would she agree? Though someone might be depressed or suicidal at one moment in time, it does not always follow that they would give up all of the happiness they have known to avoid that moment of time.</p>
<p>willow- I changed my post because I realized I was giving out too much information- but depression isn't something that you "think" about.
It is a disease and unfortunately has little to do with whether you can procreate.</p>
<p>Both my children have decided to not have any children of their own. I think this is a wise decision. Depression isn't something you want to pass on to your children.</p>
<p>If I had never been born- the question would be moot to whether I would wish never to be born- because I never would have existed.</p>
<p>We cross-posted, or I failed to refresh my browser before posting. My post #108 wasn't in response to your #107.</p>
<p>My point in post #106 was that only the children themselves can answer that. We can speculate, but only they can tell us for sure. I've read stories of parents of fundamentally disabled children who say that their children still seem to enjoy life. Would they, both enjoying life and suffering from it, have chosen not to be born? We can't say.</p>
<p>Well as long as we are on the subject of financial wealth/woes, how's this: My family farms, and we make a decent income (I don't know how much because my parents don't like talking about money), and are middle class. But on a farm, you have huge loans and debts on machinery, buildings, and lots of land. So depending on the books, we have either over a million dollars in assets, or over a million in debt. How colleges are going to look at this FREAKS ME OUT! My sis is headed to Elon, but it is reasonable for a private, and she didn't get any need aid (I don't know if they even have that). But what is really bad is that this year, we have like a 100 year drought and there is going to be NO crop. So if we are lucky and Federal Crop Insurance comes through, we will have made a grand total of $0 this year. I hope the college sees that when they put together a fin. aid package!</p>
<p>I knew your area was in a drought, but I didn't think it was quite that bad. Wow. Do you guys grow corn or soybeans?</p>
<p>I'm sure you can explain that to the FAO, as you are sort of in special circumstances. I think, also, when you fill out the FAFSA, they subtract the debt on an item from its value to get an idea of your assets. Will that help your situation?</p>
<p>Businesses have to calculate your business net worth (assets less liabilities). If you're part owner, you report your share of the net worth. Don't include good will and the like, and don't submit what you think you might be able to sell the business for. Use your IRS 1120 or year end balance sheets for the figures. Lower net worth is better.</p>
<p>There is an asset protection allowance for business net worth, below which you're not penalized (the thinking is that businesses need operating capital). Even above that allowance, the Federal and Institutional Methodologies count a much smaller % of net worth for business assets than they do for personal assets. So business assets are much better than personal assets, financial-aid-wise.</p>
<p>AND-- if you own and work on the farm, and do an IRS schedule F -- the equity in the farm is fully protected under the Federal Methodology (FAFSA). So as you fill out FAFSA, it will tell you not to include farm assets from a farm "that you live on and operate". Not so the Profile, though.</p>
<p>So I'd go through the FAFSA very carefully, and don't presume that just because you run a business that you'll be ineligible for some aid.</p>
<p>re: the large family and should we have kids conversation...</p>
<p>Sorry, I didn't mean to start a controversy, and I wasn't advocating large families. That just happened to be what the family in the comic strip had. (I have two boys myself.) I was just trying to make the point that money is not the most important thing. Sorry if it came out wrong...</p>
<p>Yeah I'm sure the fin. aid deal will be fine, it worked for my sister right? O yeah actually we haven't had more than an inch total in the last 3 months or so. Most areas around me are getting a little better, with storms in the last 3 weeks or so, but somehow our particular farm has been missed by all of them. We have corn and soybeans and a little wheat. The wheat yield was terrible but at least there was a crop. I am now thinking that if a college sees this, I could get a lot more money than if it was a regular year. Thanks for the concern.</p>