Is it helpful to know students to join a sorority or fraternity? Is it harder for OOS?

Parent Cafe
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We had many shy girls in our house, including this one. It was her sister’s house (and mother and grandmother) that dropped her. They just didn’t like her and it was a really big deal. Her sister resigned her office and made it clear they were wrong.

But it wasn’t the norm. Just saying that knowing a lot of kids might not be the big help you’d think.

22

My D is dying to be in a sorority when she goes to college. I can’t imagine what might happen if she doesn’t get in. It sounds like it would be fun once you are a member, but the process sounds so scary and stressful. I was under the impression that you have to do some major sucking up and I worry my D isn’t the type to do that. Can you get in if you aren’t uber friendly to everyone? My D is one of those people who is polite to everyone, but she reserves her most outgoing side to the people she’s closest to.

23

@citymama9 Again, it probably depends on the university and even the chapter itself. My daughter is not the typical “bubbly” sorority girl. She’s reserved and introverted, but she did fine with rush and enjoys her sorority. A couple of things to keep in mind about rush:

  • Investigate the "Greek life" or "Panhel" information that is specific to your daughter's college before she signs up for rush. That should give her an idea of the expectations at her university.
  • Keep an open mind about ALL the houses. Don't focus on one or consider only those that are known as "top houses". Every option has the potential to be a great fit and sometimes the most popular sororities won't be the best choice for a specific potential new member.
  • Remind your daughter to be herself. She should be polite and friendly, but she doesn't need to "suck up" or change herself to fit in. My daughter was not planning to join a sorority when she went to college and went into rush with a "we'll see what happens" attitude. That not only made the whole rush experience less stressful than it would have been otherwise; it also allowed her to be her authentic self when she met potential "sisters" during the process.
24

Definitely depends on the school. Greek life is miniscule at some schools and 90% wouldn’t know or care. I hear that at other schools Greek life dominates the social scene. Key word would be “fit”. Nobody else cares about them in the real world after college except those who participated. Do it for the good experiences, not perceived prestige. btw- Greek life/influence on a campus can be a pro or con for choosing a college.

25

@EllieMom Thanks so much. That was very helpful.