Is It My Decision?

I recently discussed going to college overseas with my father, specifically in Sweden. My dad got angry and told me that I was not allowed to go to college overseas because of the current state of world affairs and because of the cost of a plane ticket to Sweden, not to mention because he “said so”. I told him that it was my decision and he rejected this, saying that it’s not my decision if I want to go to college overseas.

What I’m wondering is if where I go to college really is my decision or if it’s my parents’. Some of you may perceive this as a stupid or obvious question, but I really could use some validation or support in this matter either way.

Thank you all for your time.

Who is paying for college? If your parents are paying for most or all, then they have a say about where you can go and how much they are willing to pay. If you can pay the full costs, then it is your decision.

Most likely I’ll be paying for the majority of the expenses, through working and student loans. Also, a bachelor in Sweden and most of Europe only takes 3 years to complete and the tuition is cheaper.

If you can pay for it on your own, then you have to decide 1. how much doing so will damage your relationship with your parents, and 2. how much you care about that.

You can only borrow $5500 without your parents co-signing. You get to decide where to go, but they have veto power.

I would not do it. A 3 year BA in Sweden may not be worth as much here as a US 4 year bachelors when it comes to getting jobs. Why Sweden? Why not go to school in US and study abroad one or two semesters?

What do you mean by veto power?

Also does anyone happen to know if American law schools accept European 3-year bachelors? Any other perspectives on going to college in Sweden are certainly welcome.

Since you can only borrow $5,500 without your parents’ agreement, they can basically veto any college that costs more than that amount by refusing to co-sign the loans.

Meaning bc you need either his $ or cosignature, he can say no. Veto power like you learned in Government.

Why sweden? If you want to go to a US law school, I strongly recommend a US undergrad.

If you can pay for it independently then I guess it is largely your decision. But somehow I doubt that will be the case. If your father is contributing to your education/living expenses/transportation etc. then sorry but he gets a big say in where you end up. Consider US schools and a year abroad in Sweden as a compromise.

When you can pay the bills you can make the decisions.

My daughter wanted to go to college in Wisconsin but there was no way we could afford an out of state school. She went to a public college in our state and worked in a WI camp during the summers. Moved to WI when she graduated.

It’s the same thing with practically anything in life. If you want that new phone but your parents are paying for it, they can say no. If you want those new shoes but your parents are paying for it, they can say no.

I’d focus more on asking your father specifically WHY he doesn’t want you to go. Most logical people have some rational reason why they feel so strongly about something. And like everyone else is asking, why Sweden?

PS, it depends on the law school, but most want a bachelors indicating a number of credit hours that you must have completed. They also make you send all the transcripts through a credential check service (some don’t).

You still end up with 180 credits from a European degree, just as you would with an American degree.

Sweden, to me, is a fascinating country. I admire its history, its language, and its beauty. I may consider a year abroad as a compromise. Also, although Sweden interests me the most, I am open to other countries in Europe. Although this may sound immature, a big reason for my wanting to travel outside the U.S for college is for the adventure and the experience. I do not want to spend my life in the same place forever, or even for another four years.

Trust me, then, do a US Uni, and do 2 separate study abroads (2 places). You may even get to intern a summer abrad, who knows?

I know you can go to ls with a 3 year BA, but I don’t think your app would be as strong as a US 4 year.

At some point in your life you’re going to want and need supportive parents. Is it worth burning a bridge with your parents for what appears to be a pretty half-cocked and hasty plan? I strongly doubt it.

Why Sweden? Have you looked into Germany, where many schools are actively looking for international students, and tuition is generally free? I attempted to get my S (graduating in May) to look at schools there, but he wanted to stay in the US.

FWIW, I travel outside the US regularly. Most places you might go are easily as safe as anything here. Sweden - easily more safe than any major US city. I live in a major US city, and usually feel far safer when I’m traveling than when I’m home. I wouldn’t hesitate to send my S to school in Europe, Australia, Canada - many places, in fact.

But as the others have noted, it will come down to who is paying the bills. I suppose I could’ve told my S that he had to go to Germany or somewhere equally inexpensive, but we’re able to be more flexible than that. (And if not for undergrad, you could always go for grad school! There are some excellent technical universities there - one in Karlskrona is especially beautiful!)

I don’t believe a student can use federal student aid at most colleges abroad so even the $5500 may not be available.

Can a student even get the federal student loan if parents refuse to fill out the FAFSA?

Another parent who says you’d better do your financial aid research before you get into a full blown fight with your dad. I doubt you can get the loans you think you can. You don’t want to end up burning the chance that he will help you go to school here.

I would fully support your plan to study abroad. “The current state of world affairs” is a poor reason to refuse to let you study aborad. And you are right, it is much less expensive to study inEurope. As a parent myself, yours do have a say in paying for your education. But their fears of current world affairs are not a legitimate reason to not allow you to go. And frankly, tickets to Sweden aren’t that expensive, especially when weighing up the savings by not needing that fourth year. If your parents are concerned you won’t get a job in the US with your foregin degree, i think that is unfounded. The world is more a global village than ever, and as European colleges focus on the core of a major, if anything your knowledge in your subject will be more comprehensive. There are many many Europeans working in the US. Why not find some articles or statistics on costs, benefits, etcc…of getting a degree abroad, and share them with your parents? We are actively encouraging our son, a dual national of,the UK, to do his degree there. Saves time and money. Of course, I can’t speak to your paretns, but as an American who lived abroad for 20 years, I think studying overseas is absolutely critical in this day and age. Both of my kids are fully expected to study abroad at some point, and if they decide not to, they will find themselves paying a very expensive tution bill. The days of never leaving the country are over, IMO.