My roommate is usually a nice person, but he is getting on my nerves so badly with most of his habits that I don’t think I can make it till move out day. His most annoying habit is that he blasts either music or videos on his laptop whenever I am trying to watch TV in the room. He has a great pair of wireless headphones that he got for his birthday, but his parents might as well have saved their money because he never ever uses them. Tonight was the last straw. I had my TV on full blast so I could hear it over his laptop, but he had the volume turned up so loud I couldn’t make out anything that was being said on the TV. I am not a confrontational type, so I do not plan on talking to him about this, but I eventually just turned off the TV and left the room. As I was leaving, he was huffing and puffing and took his laptop and left the room, so I know it’s going to be awkward when he comes back. He has been doing this more lately than ever before, and he very obviously turns up the volume whenever I turn up the TV to try and give him the message nicely. I have actually texted friends at home to vent about this because it makes me so angry. He also waits until I shut off the lights because I go to bed earlier than him and eats chips nonstop for at least an hour before finally stopping. The other night, I woke up at 3 in the morning to him eating chips as usual and making a ton of noise. He also always asks nicely to use the room and for me to leave for a while and that turns into 2 or 3 hours involving drinking and blasting music with his friends. The loud eating when I’m trying to sleep and the kicking out I can deal with, but how do I keep my sanity with his blasting his laptop? I look at it as he can use headphones because he has a computer, but I don’t have that option with a TV.
Sure you can watch tv with headphones. Why not? A lot of people are irritated by the sound of a tv on all the time.
Don’t TVs have a port for headphones?
How often do you watch TV?
@HRSMom, the one I have does not. I study in the library and do whatever written homework I have in the room, and when I’m done with that, I just want to unwind and watch TV. I try to, but it’s impossible with him in there. I actually pray when I get back to the room after being out that he won’t be there.
I understand that feeling for sure.
At this point, I would either watch TV in the lounge, or watch YouTube or Netflix with your headphones. You just need to get through a few months. Avoid the drama. (Yes, the potato chip thing is way over the top;). But just hang in there.
Is it possible he’s retaliating for the TV being on? TVs are loud and often obnoxious.
@bodangles If I could watch TV with headphones I would. But he has the possibility of putting in headphones and turning his laptop volume as far up as he pleases and not hear my TV. It’s not that hard IMO.
@HRSMom, I’m sure you’re right. He sometimes does use headphones but that is a rarity.
Is this something that barely happens besides when you’re watching tv? Maybe he also is not very confrontational and doesn’t want to ask you to turn it down. For the chips, maybe you should invest in some earplugs. If it’s really bothering you, you need to confront him about it no matter how awkward it makes you feel
@jennacwa, no it happens even when I’m not watching TV. It happens when I’m doing work also. So it’s not only that. And as much as the chip eating at night bothers me, I feel like it’s my room too and I shouldn’t have to stuff plugs down my ears. He could eat ice cream, a banana, muffins, any type of quiet snack at night, but no, it has to be chips.
It sounds like you are being equally difficult. I’m pretty sure he isn’t eating chips to annoy you. The “quiet snack” comment is pretty silly IMO. My guess is that your TV watching is annoying him, and you are now in a passive-aggressive war. Just talk to him. Work it out. This is silly.
^ Yes, equally difficult, passive aggressive. How will you ever marry or even share a room in a nursing home? You need to have a conversation.
@suzy100, I’d love to be able to, but I am literally scared to. He’s generally nice to me, but he can be an absolute jerk at times to other people if they don’t agree with him, so I’m afraid to make things awkward between us. Also I know the quiet snack thing is silly but his loud crunching of chips in the middle of the night 10 ft away prevents me from getting a good nights sleep. I know he doesn’t do it to bother me, but it still does.
It sounds like you want it quiet when you want quiet. Maybe your roommate feels the same way.
It sounds like your TV watching is really annoying him. Has he said anything to you about it? Either way, I suggest watching somewhere else or finding a way to use headphones so he doesn’t have to hear it unless he wants to. Escalating things by blasting the TV (or him blasting music) isn’t going to solve anything, just lead to more tension. As for the snacking, I don’t think he should have to change what he eats.
You should both get headphones.
@MamaBear16 no he hasn’t said anything about it. But he has no problems communicating with people, so I know he probably doesn’t care much about it.
I really think the tv noise was the trigger that set everything off.
If I had to return to my dorm room and have to listen to the sound of tv everyday, I think I’d go nuts.
My D had a roommate one year who would watch TV and play video games without using headphones, and she could not study there or even sleep at times. That was the most stressful year for her. The next year she was able to get a single for medical reasons and being able to come back to a room that was reasonably quiet made a huge difference.
I’m pretty sure he does care about it. I think it’s the reason he is blasting his music over the TV noise. I think the best thing you can do is sit down and talk about this. He might be ok communicating with people in general, but his passive/aggressive behavior makes it seem like he is upset and not able to talk to you about it.
Just get headphones and watch the TV that way. If he blasts his music while you are trying to work, then ask him to use his headphones. I know conflict can be difficult, and most of us want to avoid it, but the only way you are going to solve it is to: 1) fix the problem he may have with you, i.e., use your headphones when watching TV, and 2) ask him to do the same with regard to listening to music.
Have the conversation. Tell him “I am bugged by your music and I’m getting the feeling my TV bothers you. Do you think we could both use headphones so we don’t bug each other. We still have almost 4 months to coexist and we can do it better than we’re doing it now.”
What you’re doing now really isn’t working.