To start off, I would say I’m a very passive and considerate person. I feel like this is a bad thing however, especially with dealing with problems. I share a dorm with two other girls (I live in a triple dorm). One of my roommates is very social like me and nice. However, I have had some really annoying problems with her. She loves playing her music in the dorm from her laptop speaker rather than use headphones. Whenever I listen to music in my dorm, I ALWAYS have my headphones on. It’s a respectful thing to do. There was times my winter quarter that I had an 8am class (was a class I had to take) and she would be playing her screamo and rock music at 1:30am…I had to get up at 7:30am and was really tired from homework that night. Eventually around 2am she would turn it down, but the lights would still be on so I’d turn them off and tell her. She would turn down her music, but it was still loud and I wouldn’t be able to sleep until 2:15am. There was one night where she was playing music and then took a shower so I turned off the lights while she went to a shower. I was about to go to sleep, but once she came into the dorm, she turned back on the lights thinking I was asleep. So, what about my other roommate? Well, unlike my other roommate that plays her music at night, she does go out with her friends. My other roommate however is on her computer 24/7. I mean it. In the beginning of the fall quarter, I asked her and my other roommate if they wanted to go out downtown. My “musical” roommate of course said yes. My other roommate said, “it’s ok I’ll stay here.” I replied, “oh ok, if you change your mind you can always meet us downtown.” I soon came to find out she’s a room hermit. She is always playing her video games until about 4 or 5 in the morning. If my “musical” roommate isn’t playing her Music, I still can’t sleep because her laptop screen is very bright and you can hear her mouse and keyboard clicking all night. I have told my friends down the hall about the situation and they told me to talk to them about the issue, but I feel like I might say the wrong thing and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I’m just too nice of a person and need to stick up for myself.
You need to talk to the music-playing roommate for sure, especially if you all laid out guidelines in the roommate agreement about noise/lights.
I don’t know how much you have in the way of reasoning against the so-called hermit one though. If she wants to stay in, that’s her choice. She should be courteous to dim her laptop brightness at night, but the mouse/typing noises might be something you just have to deal with.
Just remember, there’s a difference between sticking up for yourself and being accusatory. Approach them with the attitude of “If you could please do/not do this this and this” as opposed to “It really pisses me off that you do these things”, you’re going to have a lot nicer time. Not to say you would do the latter, but people new to confrontation might do so by accident, IME.
Two things: ear plugs and a sleep mask.
I second the above. Also, you seem to be a fairly light sleeper; maybe you should invest in sleep headphones / those blindfold things…
You need to be firm but friendly. You can stick up for yourself without being mean.
Does your dorm have a “quiet hours” requirement? Use that if you can. Did you sign a roommate agreement?
“Sally, would you mind using headphones for your music after 11:00 (or 12:00)? I have to get up at 7:30am.”
“Turning down the music doesn’t work…you need to use headphones. Thanks!”
“Betty, would you mind taking your PC to the lounge after midnight? I have to get up at 7:30am and the typing is keeping me awake.”
and also try sleep mask and earplugs if you can.
If neither of these work, go to your RA and explained that you talked to them directly but they made no changes.
I too am a non-confrontational person, and I understand that it is sometimes hard to be heard if you are used to being quiet. @bopper has good advice. Be friendly and don’t ask them to completely stop what they are doing, ask them to tone it down a bit instead. It is a lot better to say, “would you mind turning that down or using headphones?” instead of “turn off your music at X time”. I totally understand where you are coming from. Just talk to roommates first and if they don’t change, then try the mask/blindfold/earplugs thing, and if you still can’t sleep (I personally can’t actually sleep wearing earplugs), then talk to your RA. Always be sure to explain why it is important to you.