<p>When my mom found out I did this, she was PISSED. She acted like I committed a crime.</p>
<p>My mom screamed about how I put so much time and effort into those essays, so they didn't deserve to be sent to others so easily. She said I was stupid, and said that person (let's call her N) I sent my essays to would use and exploit me (aka "eat me up and chew me up to pieces, until she doesn't have enough of me to eat") and potentially cheat (aka submit my essays or sentences under her own name). Mom went on a rant about me being stupidly f*cking naive enough to give too much away to anyone who likes talking to me.</p>
<p>To calm Mom down, I said I would send N a message explaining my mistake and giving her a warning. My mom said yes, and I should make sure N swears to God that she won't use my essays to cheat.</p>
<p>*Note that I sent my essays to N ON MY OWN, she never asked me for them first. I sent them to her for references, NOT TO CHEAT OFF OF THEM! (I'm not that stupid)</p>
<p>Two questions here:
a) is it bad to send my essays to someone I like so they can have help and references (NOT to cheat)?
b) did my Mom overreact?</p>
<p>I thought you wrote them for her at first, the way you put this. But between friends, reading each other’s essays and giving feedback happens often. Some schools are very competitive and people don’t share. Essays are supposed to be personal enough that yours couldn’t be copied or it would be obvious. Sounds like there is some backstory here that we are not getting and you mother has reason to think poorly of this girl’s motivations and character. So a bit of overreaction, but maybe this wasn’t the smartest move, either.</p>
<p>Your mom may believe you should have made a different choice, but if you’re old enough to be applying to college, you’re old enough to start making your own decisions about some things. If something bad happens, well, people learn by trying stuff and making mistakes sometimes. If you acted unwisely, it’s on your own head, not anyone else’s. Screaming at people is generally not a mature, effective, constructive way of discussing disagreements.</p>
<p>Agreeing with most of the stuff already said. You are old enough to make your own decisions, just as you are old enough to deal with any consequences that come with those decisions. Do I personally think it was a good idea? It depends. If you actually know this N – like, really know them. Not just some person you’ve bumped into in the hall a couple of times – then I think you can use your best judgement to determine if this person is reliable or not. But if this a person you only know online or somebody you hardly know at school, then I think it’s best to refrain from sharing your essays.</p>
<p>To be honest, there IS a backstory. A few months before this incident with N, my aunt wanted me to look over her son’s application essay. She wanted me to type up the conclusion paragraph as well since he struggled with it. Society makes a big deal about plagiarism, so I just fixed the grammar and gave a few tips on how to write a decent conclusion.</p>
<p>My aunt was upset. She phoned my mom and called me rude over the phone. Ever since then, my aunt stopped talking to my mom.</p>
<p>My mom became upset, and I became upset since I never wanted to sever her relationship with her sister, or see Mom get so hurt by this new silent treatment.</p>
<p>I felt bad and told my dad. My dad was on my side, agreeing that writing for anyone is looked down upon. He also said I don’t deserve to feel demoralized and said my aunt was upset for a stupid reason.</p>
<p>Overall, I feel my mom was the most upset over the fact that I didn’t help someone related to me by blood even though he wanted it, and volunteered to give my hard work to N, a friend who isn’t close to me.</p>
<p>Oh, I responded to the other thread you made about this. Here’s the recap of what I said on your other topic: the guilt you feel is undeserved, and it was irresponsible of your aunt to place those expectations on you. Looking over an essay and giving feedback is fine, but writing an essay (in part of in whole) for somebody else is wrong.
However, considering this is a person you are related to, I think it was Ok for you to send him your essays. You did mention that you gave some tips to writing a good conclusion, so sending your writing as a reference is not all that abnormal. </p>