<p>The point I'm trying to get across is that i'm most proud of myself for my quick thinking and adaptability. I quickly adapted to the U.S. society, I quickly adapted to sports in HS and was very successful at them, and following a sports injury I used my quick thinking to reorient my life's focus away from sports and towards being apart of the business world by taking internships. </p>
<p>What I am worried about is that I wrote a majority of it describing sports and the challenges that a newbie faces playing against others with years of experience. I have a lot to write about sports bc that is what I spent the largest portion of my life doing so I can write about it with the most passion. It's difficult for me to break up the essay into like, 1/3 about immigrating here, 1/3 about sports, 1/3 about reorienting my life's path away from sports. I feel that if I do that then the essay will lack emotion and detail. </p>
<p>This is a very poorly written half-assed paraphrase just summing the general idea up:
Immigrating to this country inspired me to take advantage of all the opportunities the U.S. has to offer. All the opportunities this country had to offer motivated me to quickly adapt to the U.S. society. I quickly learned English and dedicated myself to being the 1st generation in my fam to get a university education. I took hold of my future by joining sports in high school. I knew nothing of the game but the coaches saw my strong will and spirit and knew I was ambitious and could lead the team to success so they put me on JV and made me co-captain. <em>insert here a description of me being skinny and inexperienced and having to compete against players with years of experience and a ton of muscle over me etc etc fists being thrown during games fractured ribs busted lips chipped teeth</em>. I threw myself into the sport, by the next year I was placed on varsity and voted most improved player. I felt I deserved this award, and I wanted more -- I wanted an athletic scholarship. I threw myself a bit too hard into the sport -- by my senior year I had to have surgery on my shoulder. </p>
<p>From there I went on to write that I am most proud of myself for being able to adapt to my circumstances and strive toward a successful future no matter what. After my injury, I chose to reorient my life's path toward becoming a business professional. <em>insert short list of internships I took my senior year in hs here</em> </p>