Is my dream fading away?

<p>so heres my situation.... only child in a single parent family (mother moved away when I was 12), father makes less than $11,000/year...i'm quite poor. My mother pays no child support (she owes something like $13,000 now) and I cant get her to supply the required materials to Cornell (tax returns, probably for verification). She makes probably zero money as she only has a job half the time, and I've talked to Cornell about this, but they just keep saying "you have to get that into us. because she filled out the noncustodial profile, it is necessary that we get that information." In truth, I filled out the noncustodial profile while getting figures from her over the phone because I had doubts that she would do it, and she didn't have easy access to a computer. </p>

<p>So, now what? my deadline of May 1 is fast approaching.... If I dont get my financial aid package from Cornell by May 1, i'm pretty much screwed and definitely wont be able to attend. my other option is the University of Minnesota (pretty much free ride, but dang it its not cornell). So yeah, I could use some suggestions....</p>

<p>can you have someone else in your family talk to your mother (uncle, aunt, minister) and get the required forms?</p>

<p>It is unfortunate, but Often children pay for their parents sins.</p>

<p>yeah, i've talked to my grandparent's (on my mother's side) and they said they talked to her...but that whole family lies a lot. plus they absolutely hate my father and think that hes been stealing all of this money out of my (small) college fund, which absolutely is not true. so all they talk about is this and i dont know its like they wont understand how important it is.</p>

<p>I think the only thing left is to call Cornell and tell them you filled out the papers, not your mother. I hope you did not have to sign her name to them. Can you get a letter that states she has not supported you in x number of years and is behind x dollars in child support, preferably from the court or an attorney?</p>

<p>If she lives near you, go in person with all the papers and talk to her calmly.....don't get excited and say things. Sweet talk to her. Let her blow off her steam against your father. Remember she has nothing to lose, only you. Also, you have zero right now, try to make it a 1.</p>

<p>yeah, I'm gonna call them tomorrow and tell them straight out that if its not done by now, then its not going to get done, and if they want to hold me responsible for something that my mother wont do, then I wont be able to attend. I would think they would want me there somewhat? My dad is in the process of getting something worked out that we can send them. So far, he sent them a letter explaining the situation to them, hopefully they read that and excuse me from having to supply the info. I appreciate everyone's responses.</p>

<p>You may not be asking quite the right question. Ask if they have a process for waiving the noncustodial parent statement, or if you can provide supplemental documentation to demonstrate your situation and why you cannot provide the information. Say, up front, "I got her on the phone and sent what information I could, but I cannot get further documentation."</p>

<p>Schools will have a process, but sometimes you have to keep prodding them. And some schools are better than others about it. One of my son's top choices lost him in part because they were demanding all sorts of documentation -- letters from third parties, etc -- about his situation. They still haven't given him a financial award because of it. </p>

<p>One of the things I did was sent the documentation I did have, from previous custody stuff; that is, the financial statements, etc. In our case, my ex hasn't been employed much of the past few years, has never had much income, has lost his housing, etc -- and I did what I could to show that. (That's on top of not paying child support and having no contact with son for past 4 years, sadly.)</p>

<p>Don't call them and tell them anything "straight out." You want be very sincere and humble. In my opinion if you want this badly enough, this would be an excellent time to grovel. It is not the school's fault that things have gotten out of hand. I hope it all turns out well for you.</p>

<p>cbmom: I know what you're saying about being polite, but I do understand the OP's position, too. Our experience is that while some schools will take the student at his/her word about the noncustodial parent, a few seem to make the assumption that the student and/or parents are lying, until and unless they prove otherwise. If you're a student in this situation, it's often very emotionally painful and sad to live with. Having to "prove" that your parent doesn't support, contact, or perhaps care about you the way people expect them to can be a very humiliating and excrutiating process. Telling a student in that situation that they should grovel -- well, that's a bit beyond the pale, I think. </p>

<p>My son for example, has a school that wanted him to get a letter from a teacher confirming his estrangement from his father. Now, this is a very painful thing that my son has endured for four years now -- not something that he talks about casually, or even with teachers. So, to get such a letter, he basically has to go to a teacher he's known for a few months and say, "Could you please write a letter telling this college that I've explained to you that my dad, who is very poor and doesn't pay child support, chose his girlfriend over me, and doesn't speak to me any more because I chose to come live with my mother? I'm sorry I've never mentioned it, but I prefer to put it behind me and focus on the good things in my life." Talk about pouring salt on wounds! </p>

<p>I think it's entirely appropriate for the OP to contact the school in question and respectfully say, "I am trying to provide what information I have and would really like to attend your school, but I need to get a financial aid award decision as soon as possible or I will end up choosing another school." The poster is entitled to be able to navigate the process with dignity and without grovelling.</p>

<p>TrinSF, my "groveling" comment was in regards to the student's comment that he had filled out parental papers and to me it seemed that he was representing his parent when he did so. To me, this warranted "groveling" because it could be construed as lying.
Please know that I am very senstive to how many children are neglected by parents and the pain that it causes.</p>