Is my essay just bad humour?

<p>So I tried to write a fairly irreverent essay because I'm interested in transferring to Pitt...but I'm afraid it might not have the effect it's going for. I'd like some actual opinions on it, especially what sort of impression you get about me after reading it. I'm looking for brutal honesty here - remember, I'm just some text on your computer screen and not an actual human with feelings. I will consider swapping essays if you promise to actually read and be critical (from past CC experiences with this, the most helpful answer I got from an essay swap was, "This is good."), and I will do the same.</p>

<p>PM me! :)</p>

<p>I will! My friends come to me a lot for essay reviews, so I should be able to help. </p>

<p>I’ll PM you mine now… If you could tell me if you think it’s a good essay for places like Northwestern, Pomona, Pitzer, and/or Claremont McKenna, I’d be especially grateful.</p>