<pre><code> So I'm filling out the early action SJU application, and it is asking me if i have you ever been disciplined for misconduct, suspended, expelled, or required to withdraw from any secondary or post secondary educational institution. I have and i explained it as so:
"My free period teacher had an unreasonable bad judgement of me since the beginning of the year and one day I called my father from my cell phone to come pick me up. The next day I got called down the office and was told my teacher had written me a referral for using my cell phone. While school policy forbids cell phone use, nearly every teacher in my school does not implement this rule, including the teacher who gave me this referral. Every day i would see my fellow classmates use their phones(texting, calling, playing games etc.) yet i was the only one that got detention throughout the whole year. Mind you, this had been my first and only referral in the entire duration of my adolescent education, so while the standard punishment would have been one day of in-school suspension i only got two days of detention."
Everything i wrote on the app is 100% true and so basically what I'm wondering, Is my response appropriate? Should i make any changes?
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<p>I would recommend talking with your guidance counselor, but my gut instinct is to keep the response extremely short and to the point as in… “I received a detention for cell phone use during a free period at school.” Leave it at that. Your explanation, while perhaps correct, sounds like you are trying to deflect responsibility. Regardless of whether or not the rule was applied inconsistently, the rule exists and you did break it. I think the short version will make them say “no big deal” while an explanation will make them wonder why you have to add such an involved explanation. </p>
<p>To me it sounds extremely bitter. Even if you are extremely bitter, you should make it sound like you learned from this experience and refrained from ever using your cell phone in class again. Saying the teacher unfairly called you out and saying that all the other kids were doing it makes you sound fairly immature. Even if that’s the truth, it’s probably detrimental to say that.</p>
<p>thank you for the feedback </p>
<p>salty as a shaker bro</p>
<p>Hmmm . . . does that count as a “major disciplinary action,” requiring a mention on application? I’d run it by your counselor/adviser. I thought colleges only cared about suspensions/expulsions, or any situation that placed you on academic and/or disciplinary probation (along with any arrests, of course).</p>
<p>First talk to your GC as to what the response should be, if any.</p>
<p>The vast majority of colleges will not care/want to know if you’ve received a detention for cell phone use/cutting class to go to McD’s/smoking in the boys room.</p>
<p>The purpose of the discipline question is to address more serious concerns, e.g. bullying/plagiarism/vandalism.</p>
<p>If the school id not going to report your incident to the college, don’t even address it. If they are, keep your answer short, and don’t attempt to deflect blame.</p>
<p>I would leave a detention off of the app. Do not think that rises to the level of reporting.</p>
<p>Talk to your GC and see if a detention for cell phone use is even necessary to mention. If it is, I would completely scrap what you have written now. You sound way too bitter and angry, and like you haven’t seen the error of your ways. Sure, it wasn’t a huge infraction, but you still technically broke school rules. Blaming someone else for your mistake seems a bit immature. I’d use Poohbah’s explanation - short, too the point, and neutral. Good luck!</p>
<p>Ask your GC to see if there is anything in your record that may be showed in the transcript or counselor recommendation. It is probably a non issue. If there is, just say it lightly instead of blaming the teacher. He/she is just upholding the rule disregarding the intention.</p>
<p>I agree with Poohbah. No big deal. Short mention, I might add “…, which violated in-school cellphone ban”. </p>
<p>Makes you look honest, imperfect and human. All admirable qualities that people like. </p>
<p>Don’t bring up with GC - no upside. </p>
<p>Oh my god nooo, this is pretty much a prime example of how you should NOT respond. You take no responsibility and blame everybody else. Don’t blame your teacher! Don’t say everyone else was doing it too. Don’t make it sound like you were justified in breaking the rule and then victimized for being called out on it. Don’t say “mind you” to an adcom. Like everyone else said, check to make sure you even need to report this. If you do, keep it short and mature.</p>
<p>What I would be more concerned with is the poor writing in your response…not only is the tone poor, as others have pointed out, but the level of the writing itself might hurt your application.</p>
<p>Indicate that you received two days of detention for violating school rules.</p>
<p>PERIOD.</p>
<p>Do NOT add anything else.</p>
<p>It is good that you asked. NEVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER offer up information that is not asked for, when applying to a school, when applying for a job, etc… It is not lying by omission to tell them what the discipline was and why (two days of detention for violating school rules). It is abundantly obvious that the “crime” was extremely minor or the punishment would be much more. People (like myself) have gotten detentions for talking in class. Or talking back to the teacher. If you had 20 detentions, or 100 detentions, that might be of concern. Two is not, tell the truth but no more. If they ask you what school rule you broke, say you used your cell phone during a study hall. If you want to add that, and I don’t think you need to, to the app, say: “I received two days of detention for using my cell phone during a study hall.”</p>
<p>Don’t write that. First, I’m not even sure that detentions need to be mentioned on applications (especially for things like tardiness or cell phone use, which are given out with such frequency), so I would check with the guidance counselor first. Second, your response makes you out to be petty and immature. You did break the rule (however irregularly enforced) and have to admit to such and take responsibility for your actions. By trying to deflect the blame onto your teacher calls your character into question a lot more than inappropriate cell phone use ever would</p>
<p>That response could quickly get your application filed in the reject pile. I agree with Poohbah.</p>