<p>I’m not trying to judge what anyone else did or didn’t do. I’m just trying to figure out if it is necessary for us to spend the money for four people to stay in town for an extra week.</p>
<p>Proudpatriot, I think the confusion is that your situation only applies to those parents of sports kids who start school early. The rest of us without sport kids come for move in day and the orientation for parents then happens right away.</p>
<p>Sounds like within the activities for sports kids and their parents you get some of the contact you would get for orientation so for you, it doesn’t make sense to stay.</p>
<p>We send people to war with less ritual. Millions of kids get dropped off, fly out on their own, etc with no pomp and circumstance whatsoever and all is fine.</p>
<p>If is soooo not necessarry to stay a week for a ceremony that is really meaningless. By meaningless, i mean its just a feel good, look how amazing this school is and such. As it varies so mich from school to school, its obviously not a necessity. Sure some are sweet, pretty, make you cry, but your life won’t be altered and your kid won’t feel left outnof you don’t attend. </p>
<p>I cried, my daughter walked us to the gate, it was a lovely private goodbye and she bounced back to her room and floor mates.</p>
<p>Sorry Proudpatriot, Lakemom put it very well. I apologize for going off topic. In your situation, it makes little sense for going back to, or staying so long for orientation.</p>
<p>Lots of things in life aren’t strictly “necessary” but they add to the treasure trove of memories that make up your life.</p>
<p>Proudparent, it is completely unnecessary for you spend all that extra money to go to orientation. </p>
<p>I took my son to school a week before orientation as they have an optional trip program. I moved him in then (DH didn’t even go as he is in emergency management and Hurricane Irene had just come through the day before) stayed an hour or so, mostly to run to CVS and back a few time. I don’t think any of the parents with kids on the trips came back for orientation.</p>
<p>I don’t know where your student is attending college, but we saved a bucket of money ordering nearly everything at bed bath beyond at home in May. Arrived in Boston, took the T to Fenway, went through the order and added a few more things, took a taxi home, and we’re done. Took 2 hours. When it came time to move her in, we ordered an airport shuttle… They loaded everything in the back, dropped us at the curb for movein, and we took the T back to the hotel. We saved a bucketload not paying for a rental car and parking. Highly recommend.</p>
<p>We just got back from our Orientation weekend from my son’s Univeristy.</p>
<p>It was AMAZING! Not only did it give us a feel for what his environment was going to be, but it also put us at ease with safety and his education.</p>
<p>I was absolutely shocked at how clean the school is, how many resources they have available, student activities and the students energy themselves. </p>
<p>The kids were separated from the parents and were led off for the weekend by their “big brothers or sisters”…Juniors and Seniors that will be assigned to them to help them in their first year. </p>
<p>My son is going to a University that specializes in Culinary Arts, so he was paired with a Junior who is also in his specific major. Our drive home was filled with tips and tricks that “Taylor” shared with our son about what will help him get organized and get through their tough schedules. He also gave him tips on how to keep his Uniforms in top shape and of course, how to get involved in all of the activities that are out there for him to join. It has revved up my son to be in control of his destiny and given us the peace of mind that he can do it.</p>
<p>As the parent of a special needs kid (he has a form of autism), it was very important to us to know what services were there for him and that he knew the faces up front should he need to use them. For a child with social problems and problems with transition, it can be an overwhelming experience to go off to college.</p>
<p>My sons classes meet for 6 hours a day for each class, for only 9 days total. So I was very concerned how our son was going to manage that. But Taylor met with us the following day to take the parents on a tour of the school and was able to put our mind at ease. We followed that up with a meeting with the Academic Adviser and making sure his files were in order so that any adjustments to his learning could be done quickly if they were needed. He is in charge of being his own advocate, but now he has the tools he needs to do so right off the bat.</p>
<p>We would never have walked away with such a positive feeling about the school and understanding what was available for our son had we not attended the event.</p>
<p>“If I’m payin’ I’m staying’ !”. Seriously Proudparent, if I was in the same situation, I would do exactly what you are doing. I think that it will be far more helpful for you to move your son in and drive him around getting the necessary items that he will need to set up his room. You will spend some time together and say your goodbyes.
I do have a hard time understanding other parents who decide to do a “drive by” and avoid or opt out of orientation all together. As others have said it is a rite of passage but for $50,000+ I want to see what I am getting for my money. Sounds like some people spend more time buying a pair of shoes! I realize that big state U’s cater to the student at orientation but my kids schools have several events planned for parents. As parents we sit through many things for our kids that, looking back, really weren’t necessary, but isnt that what parents do? I know mine did and I have never forgotten it.</p>
<p>^^OP was not asking whether she should stay for Orientation on drop off day. She was asking whether it makes sense to pay for a family of four to fly across the country, rent a car, stay in a hotel, and have 3 restaurant meals a day for TEN days, since her kid has to be there early for athletics. The answer is clearly no.</p>
<p>Sop14 Actually I think that the OP had asked if they were going to miss any vital information by not staying for parent orientation. Thus the discussion about whether or not orientation was worth staying for. They clearly stated that they were not going to stay 10 days for orientation. Different schools have different activities for parents during orientation. To make the assumption that orientation is a waste of time is misleading (post#16) to parents reading this thread that haven’t experienced a college orientation. Having been through it before I would recommend that parents stay and see what they are getting for their money. If it can’t fit into their schedule then of course, do what works for you. I am looking forward to my daughter’s orientation as I know Notre Dame does an amazing job. Just an opinion.</p>
<p>It’s pretty clear that one does not miss “vital information” by not going to an orientation, and in the OP’s case, of course it doesn’t make sense to fly back and forth twice or stay in a hotel for 10 days just cooling their heels.</p>
<p>Yeah you guys got it right. We are going early because of athletics. We will move S in the dorms. We are staying a few days because he has a camp prior to actual move in. We plan on taking the other kids to do some things locally while the oldest is in camp. Once he can move into his dorm we will move him in and then leave. He will be moved in on the 11th. Parent orientation is on the 19th. </p>
<p>We are a family of 5 so once we move S into the dorm there will be 4 of us staying in hotels, eating in restaurants. The other kids are teenaged boys so just feeding them is expensive. Plus-they have activities back home that they will miss if they stay until the 19th. It does not seem that there is any compelling reason to stay.</p>
<p>If we were going to be there dropping him off we would go. I am sure it is nice to attend. However, I can’t see any compelling reason for us to attend.</p>
<p>Thank you all for helping me sort this out. I appreciate it.</p>
<p>
If you don’t already know what you’re “getting for your money” and haven’t spent a great deal of time comparison “shopping” colleges before the enrollment decision is made, you’ve made quite a hash of things and parent orientation won’t help. Certainly if spending a few days on campus attending various events interests you, and if you have the free time and money to do so, you should by all means attend parent orientation. If neither of those is true, your child’s college experience will not in any way be adversely affected and you shouldn’t feel that you aren’t adequately parenting your kid.</p>
<p>That’s pretty harsh MommaJ. All of us parent differently and choosing, or not choosing, to attend parent orientation is a personal decision. As a few of us have stated, it doesn’t have to be about fear of not adequately parenting, or missing vital information. It’s participating in a rite of passage.</p>
<p>It’s fun, and sentimental. I’d hate to miss it. But I wouldn’t rent a hotel room for ten days to attend.</p>
<p>Yes. Exactly. S’s orientation was 2 days long - and nearby, less than an hour from our house. I took off work and went for both days, since it was important to me - I eat up this stuff. H didn’t take off work - he would have liked to, but the world didn’t end. I agree with Hunt - fun, sentimental, but in the OP’s case, not worth flying back and forth or sitting around for 10 days.</p>
<p>I personally feel that something that became a “right of passage” only in recent years (my S started college in 2003 and his LAC had no parent orientation activities at all) is not terribly compelling. But I wouldn’t second guess anyone’s decision to attend or not attend and certainly wouldn’t put down someone who skips orientation as giving insufficient attention to their child’s educational experience (suggesting they spend more time buying shoes!) My purpose for posting on this thread was to reassure those who aren’t inclined or able to attend parent orientation that they shouldn’t fret over their decision.</p>
<p>Don’t know why anyone would think it’s “harsh” to say that it’s rather late to determine at orientation whether a school is providing one’s “money’s worth”. I don’t see how a bunch of orchestrated activities for parents are going to tell anyone much about their child’s experiences for the next 4 years or measure the wisdom of the college choice.</p>
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<p>I agree completely with MommaJ’s entire post and especially the above portion.</p>
<p>Kids #1 & 2 attended small out-of-state colleges that provided freshman orientation after move-in. Parents were not invited. Kid #3 is attending a much larger university about 8hr drive away that has several orientation sessions during the summer with parents/sibs invited. H & I are both going to attend because kid has communication issues. We want to make sure WE collect all the information that kid may not give us. It is only a two night trip, kid stays in dorm, so it will be a fun trip for us ;)</p>