<p>This is from a student asking for advise from all of the knowledgable parents on this forum...are you planning to go to orientation with your children (if their are parent sessions) this summer and do you plan to plan to go with them in the fall to help them move into their dorms? </p>
<p>I am a transfer student and I want my parents to come with me in the fall to "check out" the school and surrondings but would this seem very childish? They have already visited it once for a brief tour/ scan before I made my decision to attend.</p>
<p>Also, my school is 4 hours away from my home. In case this makes a difference.</p>
<p>It really is up to the individual family, but I think if the college is 4 hours away, it's reasonable for the parents to come along, especially if the student doesn't have a car. </p>
<p>My 18-year-old freshman daughter is going on her own - she's already visited her college twice on her own and will also go move in on her own -- but she is attending college in New York and we are on the west coast. Since she is at an urban campus, she can easily get around on her own if she needs to make extra purchases, and she has friends locally who can help her with the movein. I also understand that her college is very good about helping students bring in their stuff. It just would be very expensive for me to pay for a round trip ticket plus local motel room for what is essentially carrying a few suitcases into a room and unpacking them. </p>
<p>On the other hand, my son is 23 and has been living on his own for several years. He is transferring to a college which is about a 7 hour drive. I have helped my son move several times in the past couple of years, and I have offered to drive up to his college with him. He could do fine on his own, but it is a very scenic drive and I would enjoy the opportunity to spend that time with my son. </p>
<p>So if you want your parents to come... ask them.</p>
<p>Your desire to include your parents doesn't sound childish at all. In fact, it seems quite mature. It can be a real help to have family to help you move in. Further, many parents want their children to include them in the important moments of their lives. Ask your parents if they want to go with you and if they do, go and enjoy the experience.</p>
<p>Yeah, my parents definitely hint towards wanting to come and I don't really mind if they do...I mean it is only 4 hours away (from Las Vegas to SoCal) and it could easily be a day trip for them (albeit a very long day). I just don't want to look out of place with my parents there</p>
<p>I agree - move-in is a major rite of passage for both parents and kids, particularly the first time. I cherish the memories of moving my two older daughters into their respective schools, though there was plenty of bickering and attitude from all parties involved. Both schools provided squadrons of good-natured upperclassmen to do most of the toting and stair-climbing, so that all we parents had to do was find a decent parking place and carry the light miscellaneous stuff. Of course, we also then did the requisite Target and grocery store runs, spending the requisite additional $200 each time.</p>
<p>Some kids are certainly more than ready to take this step on their own, and I'd respect the wishes of a student who wanted to do so. I'm just glad my kids expected us to come along.</p>
<p>Parents are almost always present on move-in day. At many colleges, most freshmen do not have cars. So the parent has to come along to drive the car back home, if nothing else.</p>
<p>Having a second person there is also tremendously helpful during the move-in process itself. It means that you will never have to leave your stuff unattended while you check in, carry things upstairs, etc.</p>
<p>Even for people who fly, a parent sometimes comes along to make it possible to bring two people's worth of luggage. Also, parents can rent cars, which is really handy if you have a lot of stuff to transport or need to do a lot of shopping when you arrive. Car rental agencies do not like to do business with teenagers.</p>
<p>As for orientation, it depends. The parent orientation sessions really are informative for parents who are sending their first kid to college. But if you are kid #2 or #3, don't be offended if Mom or Dad skips the speeches and goes to the movies.</p>
<p>Your parents will be so happy when you ask them to come with you.
(We're putting our son on a plane--though we toyed with the idea of
taking the whole family--six younger sibs--on the 20something hour
drive. I'd love to be there, but the plane ticket is much cheaper than driving).</p>
<p>Definitely bring your parents if you would like to have them and if they would like to come. </p>
<p>The good thing about life on a college campus is that no one pays attention to what any one else is doing or choosing; each person is concerned only with his or her own choices. It's not high school any more where you have to worry about appearing "cool" to others.</p>
<p>In addition, I think choosing to include your parents is a sign of maturity, not immaturity. You are thinking for yourself about what you would like (which is having your parents come) and what others would like (you are mature enough to let your parents have the pleasure of seeing your college environment).</p>
<p>Finally, remember that parents are not an unusual sight on college campuses!</p>
<p>My D is very independent, has traveled extensively (international & domestic) for years, and was the one who said to me, "you're coming to help me move in aren't you?"</p>
<p>I nearly cried. I wouldn't miss it for the world. This IS a huge rite of passage, and if she wants me there to share it with her, then I will be there. She also just tossed out to me & her grandmother that she'd like us to come for parents & friends weekend in October. Made grandma cry (we're an emotional family!) and we're 3000 miles away. We'll be there!</p>
<p>Going forward all I can do as a parent is follow her lead.</p>
<p>My son and I are going to his orientation next weekend. And yes I will be there on move in day. As a freshman he is unable to have a car on campus. So someone will need to take him there. We only live about 45 minutes away so the drive is really not an issue. I am looking forward to helping him. NOW leaving him That will be hard. Good luck and let your parents go.</p>
<p>Move in day will be the first and last day that the dorm room will be neat and although the bed will be made by me (the mama) it won't happen again. Why bother to buy soap powder and supply quarters? I don't think the sheets will see the inside of a washer. </p>
<p>How do all the parents feel about this? I have a DS.</p>
<p>Personally, I couldn't stand the thought of sleeping in the same sheets for an entire month - let alone a year! Being female might have something to do with that though...</p>
<p>I went with D to move-in last year, freshman year. Yes, it cost to buy the plane ticket, but my extra 2 suitcases helped, and I rented a van, so we were able to load everything up from Wal-Mart, Target, Linens N Things, etc., and once i found a great parking space, it still took the two of us a few hours to get everything unpacked and get her settled - girls just have to have lots of stuff! Went to move-out, as well. Needed me there with the 2 empty suitcases, and for car rental to take eveything to the storage unit. Yes, school has summer storage for free, but does not guarantee what happens to your stuff once the unit is unlocked in the fall and everyone starts taking their things out of there. We decided not to take the risk. It was great because I was able to see where she would be staying next year, and we really bonded even more. Then, too, there were LOTS of parents both times. No one was out of place. Will be there next year for move-in, as well. D wouldn't think of it being otherwise. (Thank heaven!) Last year, I went to Parnet's Weekend, as well. By then, D had made friends, and a group of them with (and without) parents went out to dinner. It was great meeting the parents of the kids my D has become close with, and being able to put faces to the names of the kids she talked about.</p>
<p>ill put a slightly different spin on this... my college had a set time by which all parents HAD to be off campus. and it was beautiful. mothers could do what they felt they had to do. kids could get suitably embarrassed. and at 4:00 it was goodbyes. no muss, no fuss.</p>
<p>id recommend that all parents, strict rule or not, take a similar approach. set a reasonable time to leave and stick to it. </p>
<p>...and as for sheets, im a guy and i changed them twice a week for three years. however, being a guy i brought six (yes, six) sets with me instead of actually washing them with frequency. so theres hope, especially if there are lots of girls around. its amazing how a 'you really need to change your sheets/clean up/do your laundry/do your dishes' manifests itself into action when it comes from the mouth of an attractive young female. what a fantastic business concept!</p>
<p>Eric, I think that's the only reason my guy friends take showers or do laundry or other hygenic activities. One of us girls asks how long it's been and then tell them that it's been too long. All the mamas should thank us.</p>
<p>I second the advice from ericabucknell. Parents need to know when to leave. Then the kids can settle in and start to getto know ech other without the hovering getting in the way. And it makes for a clean break for the parents.</p>
<p>EricatBucknell - I assumme you are/were a student at Bucknell. Doesn't Bucknell offer any parent orientation or do parents just serve as the "movers". I would be quite ticked off if after traveling 20 hours with a loaded car that a school would say goodbye at 4 PM. Easy for parents who are 2 or 3 hours away.</p>