The right school(s) for each child, depends greatly upon each child.
For some, the Ivy+ schools (including MIT, Stanford, Chicago, CalTech, and the liberal arts equivalents) are just naturally where they belong, because they have the inner drive to accomplish what it takes to be there. Some kids really are academic superstars, exceptional athletes, or natural leaders, and they benefit greatly by being among their peers.
The kids I worry about are the ones that are pushing themselves beyond reasonable limits to get into an elite college. If the idea of working hard enough to get into an elite college repulses you rather than motivates you, and you are barely sleeping, perhaps you should set your sights a bit lower.