A little bit of a background about us. We are from the Chicago burbs and a loving Asian family of four. My husband has a decent job downtown and I stay home. I have been diagnosed with Narcolepsy w/o cataplexy and the cold weather wears me down a lot. I would love to have a temperate climate year throughout. My husband’s position might be moved to CA(Bay area) in the upcoming months. My son will be starting high school in two years. We are not aware of the school system there. But from what I have read and heard, I understand that there is a very high competition amongst the Asian kids. Is that so ? A friend of my friend recently moved out from a high performing school district to another district in the Bay area for the purpose of avoiding competition and showing some uniqueness. The earlier school that the kid went to was comprised of Asians and was getting so competitive that it was tough for the kids to distinguish themselves. Our school district in Chicago northwest suburbs( SD 54) is ok. When the company asked my husband if he could move to CA, I was completely happy due to my medical condition but after hearing about the Asian competition, I am confused. Just because I want to improve my health condition, I don’t want the child to get in to a heavy competition in high school. I am so desperate to get your advise.
The Bay area is huge. There are many different school districts. I’m sure you can find one that meets your needs.
Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. A couple of things to consider in general regarding a move to the Bay area. Would your husband be working in downtown SF? Housing is tight and VERY expensive as is the cost of living. Commute into the city can be very long. The climate varies greatly, even from one area of the city to another and can be cool, damp and foggy in the city and be 80 degrees and sunny a few miles away. Research the high schools very carefully in the city. There are only a few public ones that may fit your son’s needs and can be difficult to get into. The private ones are costly and VERY competitive. Many of the kids are IB, DE. It is quite a pressure cooker.
So sorry to hear about your health issues. You need to base your move on what is best for health and finances. Being Asian should not factor in at all. Your children aren’t even in high school yet. Please do not let your ideas of something that won’t be happening for another six years dictate your needs.
To further address your concern, it won’t matter where in the country you live. Your children are Asian. If they end up being high -achievers they will face the same hurdles every other applicant faces if they (or is it really you?) aspire to attend top colleges. One thing that might be true, regardless of your race, is that if you put your kids in a pressure cooker school district, they will be in the pressure cooker. It might be an unhappy experience for them, or it might not. But it’s not going to be worse or better because they are Asian.
In your shoes, I would prirotize health, finances, and a good school district. That doesn’t have to mean the highest ranked school district. In fact, when we moved to where we now live, 12 years ago, we deliberately chose a slightly lower ranked district because we read a lot of negative stuff about the high-stress environment and attendant rate of teen self-harm in the highly ranked district in our county. There is a lot to be said for NOT being in a pressure cooker district, so a kid can stand out and not be stressed for the whole of their teen years.
I’m not really following the specifics of your concern. You’re worried that Bay Area high schools are competitive, I get that. What I don’t understand is what the race of your own child has to do with it. If a school has a competitive student body, that competition is not affected by the race of your own child.
If you’re concerned about your kid making friends that aren’t caught up in the pressure cooker, I don’t think his race will be too much of an influence on that in NorCal.
I found this thread a bit odd, but I have some perspective on this issue. I am an Asian Chicago parent, raised in the Bay Area, oldest D just graduated from a “pressure cooker” high school and enjoying life at UCLA. In my time, Asian students often distinguished themselves by excelling in STEM subjects. They still do, but in Cali Asian is complete mainstream, so less stereotyping as STEM students. Many hip-hop dance groups at UCLA are based in Asian student clubs. Going to a competitive high school is in general a good thing if it forces ways to be distinguished in other ways than just being at the top of the class. That helps more for elite college admissions. The college admission statistics at competitive high schools probably show that students are not penalized for not being at the very top. My only problem with them is that they assign too much homework. Finally, if one’s kid happens to be a middle-of-the-pack Asian in a competitive environment, the very excellent California public universities do not discriminate against Asians as it appears that many elite private universities do. That is why UCLA and Berkeley are over 40% Asian, and if you live in California you are paying about a third of what I am paying.
So you’re talking about high schools rather than universities right? It will entirely depend on part of the bay area you are looking at. A very few high profile public high schools are (I think) dangerously competitive but you can find terrific systems if you step away from those. If his job will be in the East Bay or will have easy BART access, I can point you to a large number of specific top districts. PM me if you want details.
You don’t need to be in the Bay area to have a competitive school with lots of high achieving Asian students. We’re in a wealthy suburb in the Midwest and the school system, 10% Asian students, is remarkably competitive :). Here a lot of the Asian kids form study groups, or do group tutoring. It was not uncommon to have Bay Area level Asian kid percentages in AP science type classes. A good ‘problem’ to have 
especially in a school district that actually has good teachers and facilities to help students maximize their potential. Do your research!
There are several high schools in the Bay Area with large Asian population (60%+) and some of those are brutally competitive to an unhealthy degree. There are also schools with smaller Asian populations that are just as competitive. But there are many schools that strike a better balance, and it is good to inquire like you are doing. If you want to PM me, I am pretty familiar with public and private options throughout the Bay Area and would be glad to share what I know/perceive. If I don’t know the area, I will let you know that, but I am laying odds that I know what neighborhood/school district your friend left to get away from the madness…(even though there are several, there are a few standouts).
I would be thinking about the cost of living here - that is the scary part. Also, the weather as mentioned, particularly if your health would benefit from a certain climate - SF has beautiful days but can be cool and foggy a lot as well. Mark Twain said, “The coldest winter I ever spent was one summer in San Francisco.” Most of the South Bay/Silicon Valley which is San Jose/Mtn View/Palo Alto/Santa Clara, etc., has much more sun and a lot less rain. Micro climates rule in the Bay Area, lots of variety on a single day in a 40 mile radius. But way way mild compared to Chicago, that’s for sure!
PM me anytime.
Why do you think it would be more competitive for Asian students than for all others? I’m sure that all,the students at Pablo Alto HS (for example) are held to the same high standards. Ditto private school like Harker.
Students of all ethnic backgrounds would be treated the same way in school.
Guess I was wrong that Asians less stereotyped, when many of them trying hard in school is considered “brutal.” Sorry, the Asians at my Ds competitive HS not “driving” the competition any more than the Polish, eastern European, middle eastern kids that landed there. The school provided a net positive experience. Some kids may not thrive psychologically in such an environment. “Model” minority stereotype is pernicious.
As others have said, there are definitely some pockets of uber-competitive HS in the Bay Area, but there are also plenty of HS that are good but don’t have that same reputation. I know several people who have moved or chosen private HS over their public one because they felt it was too competitive and created an “unhealthy” atmosphere for their kids. I also know kids who graduated last year from those competitive HSs and did just fine there. I think it really depends on your kids and what you are comfortable with in that regard.
I’d be happy to go over specific schools if you want to PM me. The climate in the Bay Area is definitely milder than the Chicago area, but be prepared for sticker-shock when it comes to housing.
Median house prices in the areas that people are adverting to above are anywhere from three to six times what appears to be the median where you are now. In terms of schools, the Acalanes district (Lafayette, Moraga, Orinda), which would be about the same commute into SF as your husband has now (bur probably not as comfortable) is on a par with the likes of Evanston, New Trier, Glenbrooks, and the like. Hot weather out there at times, but dry: people actually use humidifiers rather than dehumidifiers. If the move is good for your health and H’s job, go for it. Now is the time to do it. Middle school is a change for everyone. I would not move and send your into high school as a complete stranger unless he’s an extrovert. I would definitely not move after he started high school, as my parents did in exactly the opposite direction (Walnut Creek to Wilmette).
In the Bay Area, the competition will be very heavy at high ranking schools, regardless of student’s race or ethnicity. Everyone is held to the same standard. If you want less competition, less pressure, aim for a good school, but not the top ranked schools. At high schools with a high percentage of Asian students, the students of other races/ethnicities feel the same pressure!
UC’s do not take race/ethnic background into account.
They do look at your circumstances so it’s best to be in a decent high school that’s not competitive.
It’s also important to think out of the box in terms of EC 's as some Asian families may be tempted to congregate around the same activities that are 'high profile’in Asia.
Thanks for the responses so far.
I live in the central NJ area and we have the same issues here. There are several prominent public school districts with high percentage of Asian and Indian families. The pressure at the high schools in these districts are quite intense. I would suggest you carefully discuss and evaluate with your child. Some kids really do well under pressures, others not so much. It really depends upon your child and how he/she best learns.
There is always the option of moving to a school district with less pressure, or to send the child to a private school.
I live in the Bay Area. While competition is generally high, it is on the next level at a few schools. You can conveniently find them here;
http://www.usnews.com/education/best-high-schools/california/rankings
You can avoid them easily by living outside of those schools’ district. Your kids will still receive good education and challenge unless you choose to live in certain poor areas, and you won’t need to volunteer to guard nearby railroads.
http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Why-are-Palo-Alto-s-kids-killing-themselves-6270854.php
Look for lower pressure schools - middle of the pack is fine, and if there’s DE in the district you can offset any insufficiency with the overall very good California community colleges.
Dual Enrollment is quite common and there are many good California Community Colleges