<p>Hi I have been reading these threads trying to find a close enough conversation about Lehigh life.
My son is in a dorm where everyone goes out and parties until 4am. just about every night, He is not interested in that so they and the seem to have no interest in even saying hello to him. His roomate is so quiet that it makes it difficult to meet anyone. So far he has joined 3 clubs, will be starting a work study but no one will talk to him,he eats alone because they seem to already know one another . at all at least the boys on his floor.Any advice.</p>
<p>2ndfloorstudio - I am so sorry your son is having that kind of experience! I cannot imagine partying every single night until 4 am will last very long…Lehigh is a hard school. However, what concerns me more is that he has no one to eat with etc… First I recommend he have a heart to heart with his Gryphon. Sounds like the young man may not be aware of his shy room mate or the eating situation - he can help with that, even if it means eating with your son himself and bringing some other like minded students along. </p>
<p>Secondly I would contact housing and see if there is any way to move onto a CHOICE floor. They are much more inclusive - My son’s freshman floor did everything together - played sports, ate, etc… He also had the most fantastic Gryphon who made sure “no one eats alone”. They are seniors now and still a very close knit group.</p>
<p>I would definitely look into moving. Freshman year is too important and demanding to deal with this type of distraction. Could be first week away from home behavior and when academic requirements pick up it may go away. But don’t underestimate the social impact on your son as well as the academic. Talking to the Gryphon is the best start but make the decision that is best for your son’s future.</p>
<p>I hope mumof2boyz doesn’t mind if i piggyback on her comment, but she is right on the mark from everything I’ve heard from my now sophomore son. There’s absolutely no way partying until that time will last, the academics are too demanding to allow for that sort of regular partying. </p>
<p>My son’s freshman gryphon looked out for my son and for every person on his floor. Mumof2boyz gave the best first approach, for HIM to contact his gryphon and have a private conversation. Friendships change, too, and once more people get to know your son he will more than likely have an entirely different college experience.</p>
<p>If I may add my opinion to the fray,</p>
<p>2ndfloorstudio, the partying exists and your son needs to learn to coexist with students who choose to engage in that lifestyle. Frankly, some freshmen are acting over-confident this time of year - they think they have the academics locked down when in reality it is about to get much more difficult for them.</p>
<p>I have always lived in regular housing and I’ve found that there is a nice mix of students who don’t drink/party and students who choose to go out. I find it hard to believe he and his roommate are the only people in the hall who don’t go out.</p>
<p>I’ve made the majority of my good friends from being involved in extracurricular activities and having to team up with people in my major to do homework, etc. I recommend that you encourage your son to get involved - it sounds like he is already on the right path. He can make lots of good friends through EC involvement and work-study jobs. And he should try to make friends with people in his class. Once he starts doing homework/studying with people, he will quickly become friends with them.</p>
<p>Is your son an engineer? If so, he can join the professional engineering societies/organizations on campus (AIChE, ASME, etc.) to meet other freshmen or upperclassmen in his intended major.</p>
<p>It is slightly difficult to adjust to college life as a freshman, especially since he has only been here for a couple of weeks. Pass along our advice, but let him be the one to reach out to other people and organizations. If he calls home, let him vent and be sure not to put additional stress on him.</p>
<p>I think he’ll find his niche soon. Just tell him to stay involved and I think he’ll be fine.</p>
<p>Best,</p>
<ul>
<li>Mike</li>
</ul>
<p>My daughter is very quiet, shy, bookwormish and I worried how she would fare in the party environment. She is in choice housing and having the time of her life. There are tons of activities to keep everyone busy and havinnfun and I’m pretty sure that anyone can participate, not just choice kids. Maybe he can look into the choice programs and get to know some like minded people. My daughter has also joined clubs and she is loving the relationships she is developing.</p>
<p>I agree that your son should speak to his gryphon and get some ideas and support. </p>
<p>So sorry that he is unhappy and that you are worried.</p>
<p>2ndfloorstudio,</p>
<p>Has the situation gotten any better for your son? I have a freshman and he is in CHOICE housing and loves it. He has a floor of great guys that he hangs out with and they do lots of things together. I would suggest speaking to the gryphon and also seriously consider speaking with housing and moving to a room in CHOICE if it is available. The social aspect of college is so important and it breaks my heart to hear about the struggles your son is facing. All the best and please keep us posted.</p>
<p>Yes, I second lehighmom17.</p>
<p>2ndfloorstudio, please give us an update. How’s your son doing?</p>
<p>Best,</p>
<ul>
<li>Mike</li>
</ul>
<p>If you cant handle going out at least on the weekends then you must the time management skills of a leapard…partying is very doable along with getting an a… People will work right up until they go out… So yes you will end up seeing the smartest kids in your class partying on tuesday and then getting an a on their exam on thursday</p>
im going to be an international student in Lehigh soon and i will be 20 years old! Will it be difficult for me to get served beer and get into pubs and nightclubs as i will be underage? how strict is it out there?
You are underage and will not be served. Unless you get a fake ID which can get you into a lot of trouble. 21 is the law, not a recommendation.
They will not let you in unless you have an ID that says you are 21. @freshman2357
Students who are underage in the US usually drink at house parties and dorms when alcohol is allowed in dorms. As an international student you will not want to get a fake ID because the legal consequences could be severe for you, more so than for a domestic student. Bars and clubs that serve underage have a real risk of losing the liquor license as well as large fines.
If you get ticketed or arrested related to any drinking offense I would be sure to hire an attorney. They will probably want a $500- $1,000 (in cash) retainer to represent you. Please be careful.