Is this a bad idea?

Parent Cafe
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<p>I am currently going to a University of California and I am a sophomore. I want to transfer to another UC but I am afraid I have miss the deadline for Fall 2009. I think the only college I can get in now is a CAL state university. This would be also be a downgrade for me as UC are far superior to a CAL state university. The reason I want to transfer is not because I am doing bad in school or having any kind of academic problems, I am moving because I did not like the UC I attend, and I had a hard time adjusting to college life. I'm moving school because I want to start over again, I want a new identity, and I want another chance to finish off my college experience strong.</p>

<p>Any opinion, advice, and suggestion is much appreciate.</p>

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<p>How about taking a leave of absence for a year and getting a job? During your leave, you could apply for transfer to the UC you prefer well in advance of the deadline. Then, you could continue your education the next year at the new UC (if you get in) or return to your old UC with a fresh outlook after your year away (if your attempt to transfer is not successful).</p>

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<p>If you transfer from a UC to a CSU it will be next to impossible to get back into the UC system. Transferring within the UC system is a lot easier. A lot of the CSU’s are currently filled anyway – because of budget cuts they are turning away students.</p>

<p>I just looked at your other posts – a move to a different campus may not solve your problems. (You have posted about being lonely and having a hard time making friends). It can be very hard for a transfer student to meet people and get involved in the campus social life – when you come in, everyone already has friends they have known from freshman year; at most UC’s, most upperclassmen choose to live off campus, etc. Most of the CSU’s tend to be commuter schools, so it is even harder to break in there – the campus simply is not the center of their social life. </p>

<p>Have you tried getting involved with volunteer work? That’s really a good way to get involved with others & meet people in an environment that is usually quite accepting. Try volunteering at a food bank or homeless shelter – they really do need volunteers and your fellow volunteers will include many people who are sensitive and giving, so they should treat you well.</p>

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<p>Every UC is large enough that you could change yourself there if you want a ‘new identity’ and if you have trouble adjusting to college life at your UC, why do you think it’d be any different at a CSU? It isn’t the college that makes the student’s experience, it’s the student.</p>

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<p>I think it is a good idea to take a semester or a year leave of absence. Then you will come back with a new outlook and a new attitude.</p>

<p>There are programs where you take a gap year and volunteer. Maybe that would work for you.</p>

6

<p>Marian
Would that be a wise idea? Would that be better than switching to a Cal State?</p>

<p>Calmom
I change quite a bit since the last time I post. I’m eating healthy, working out and I found a new hobby to keep me busy. There are just simply too many bad memories here at this school that sometime haunt me every time I pass through a few certain places. What I want to do is pretend that I am a transfer from a community college, thus it will just be like I never attended a UC in my life before, and take on that identity with everything I experience and learn and put it to use. I know I would not do well much longer in academic or my social life at this school, and I don’t feel the need to feel guilty anymore for leaving a UC, because I gave it my best.</p>

<p>I was optimistic before I posted on here, but now I am quite unsure, and possibly scare of what await. You are right, many upper classman do live off campus. I guess I was not completely thinking it through. Maybe I just want to have a normal life so much that I am possibly dreaming? I don’t do volunteer work because it not something I enjoy. I have pride; I have high self-esteem despite my current status, and I’m no longer a square. I’m very open to trying new things, whether it bad or good I don’t have to think twice about it now. I also have a new attitude, I feel like a change person. Someone who has finally come out of his shell persay.
What about all the CC transfer students, can’t I make friends with them Junior?</p>

<p>Ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad
I would very much like to agree with you, I am not a liar. I couldn’t lie to save my life. I can’t lie to someone and take on a new identity when they might find out sooner or later. I can only do this at another school. I am not planning to go to a CSU, but if I can’t get into another UC, what other choice do I have? I don’t know why I think it will be any different, but I think it something call “hope” perhaps. </p>

<p>Midwestmom2kids
I like that idea however if I am at home with my family, I won’t have a new outlook on life unless I am attending some college. What I did not make clear off is that I don’t ever want to go back to this university again, ever again. I had it, I’m so done with it. It so bad I rather drop out of college altogether than attend one more day, one more hour of this school. So anywhere else would be a complete blessing. Once again I love your idea, but I can’t afford to come back here, unless I can take a gap year and transfer to another UC, then I am all up for it.</p>

<p>I just want to say thank you everyone for their advices and please keep them coming. I also just want to let all you parents know that there is no way I will come back to this school next year, nor another year later. I am so done with this UC and all of the bad memories and ordeal I had to went through and all the friends I lost.</p>

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<p>I am so sorry this was such a bad year for you.</p>

<p>If you are looking for a way to get away for the summer, I always suggest Cedar Point in Sandusky, OH, as a place where a college age kid can live and work in the summer.
[Facilities</a>, Housing, Pay & Benefits, Jobs, Cedar Point](<a href=“http://www.cedarpoint.com/public/jobs/benefits/housing/facilities.cfm]Facilities”>http://www.cedarpoint.com/public/jobs/benefits/housing/facilities.cfm)
If you are taking a leave of absence for fall semester, Cedar Point gives nice bonuses to people who can stay until Labor Day weekend. (A lot of working college kids need to go back to school before then.)</p>

<p>Switching to a college that has a lot of community college transfer students coming in sounds like a perfectly reasonable idea. I think you want to choose a college where you will get a lot of support. You’ve had a hard time. Don’t worry about picking the most prestigious school; focus on getting a degree.</p>

<p>I hope everything starts to look up for you soon.</p>

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<p>I’m not a Californian, so I don’t know how great the difference in prestige and rigor is between UCs and Cal States. Perhaps California parents can give you greater insight into that issue.</p>

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<p>You say “What I want to do is pretend that I am a transfer from a community college, thus it will just be like I never attended a UC in my life before, and take on that identity” but then you also say “I am not a liar. I couldn’t lie to save my life. I can’t lie to someone and take on a new identity when they might find out sooner or later. I can only do this at another school.”</p>

<p>Pretending to be something you aren’t is never a good way to start a relationship with new people. If you pretend that you went to CC, someone at your new school will know someone there, or ask about the details of the CC and it will become obvious that you’re lying (especially if, as you say, you are a bad liar!). </p>

<p>I don’t know much about CSUs versus UC schools, but I think the suggestion of waiting and transferring to a UC if that’s where your academic abilities are at is a good one. Perhaps you could get a part-time job off-campus (I know, these are hard to find these days!) or even study abroad for a semester so you don’t feel so trapped with the bad memories?</p>

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<p>“'m moving school because I want to start over again, I want a new identity, and I want another chance to finish off my college experience strong”</p>

<p>My advice is to take a semester or year off and then return to your current university. The time off – working a job, traveling, doing volunteer work, etc. – will give you a chance to develop different aspects of your personality and interests. </p>

<p>When you return to the U Cal, get involved with activities that fit the person you’ve developed into. You’ll also make new friends. </p>

<p>Doing this would be a better idea than transferring to a less highly regarded school for the reasons you’ve mentioned.</p>

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<p>

I certainly am not suggesting that you lie. I’m actually suggesting you just be yourself which is hopefully what you mean when you say you want a new identity (unless you want to pretend to be something you’re not - like Clark Kent). Your post is fairly cryptic in that you don’t really state what you mean by leaving and taking on a new identity and you don’t state what problems you’ve had. It all sounds a bit dramatic. </p>

<p>My point, without really knowing what your issues are, is that you should be able to just be yourself where you are. There are tens of thousands of students at every UC so you can associate with who you wish even if it means associating with completely new people. You could do that a thousand times over right where you are right now. As far as people who already know you and being concerned about what they might think - who cares? It doesn’t really matter what they think and most people don’t really think of or care that much about particular others that much anyway. You don’t even need to take a semester off for this because at a UC you generally don’t move along with the same group of people since you all have your own course picks. Make sure you’re not being too narcissistic.</p>

<p>So again, wherever you end up, just be yourself. If you want to associate with different people, do it and don’t be concerned about what others think of you as long as you’re happy enough with yourself.</p>

<p>btw - I do know of someone who was attending a particular UC, wanted to transfer to a different one (higher ranked) that had a football team, etc., so she left her UC, attended a CC for a year, then transferred to the different UC. I don’t know whether in retrospect it was worth it for her or not. You could always try this path if you’re unable to secure a UC-UC transfer and don’t want to do a UC-CSU transfer. </p>

<p>Make sure you think through this transfer since it could cost you a year or so in additional college costs and delayed workplace entry (which equates to $$$) if you don’t do it carefully.</p>

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<p>One option might be taking a leave for the fall term. Apply to transfer to another UC for the winter or spring quarter. If you get in transfer if not you can go back to your original UC if you feel like you can handle that or take classes at the community college and do a jr transfer.</p>

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<p>Yes honey it is a terrible idea. For all of the reasons these good people have given you. However, Midwestmom and Northstarmom give excellent advice. A leave of absence DOES sound like a good idea for you.</p>

<p>In looking at your post history what I get from you is that you seek advice but don’t necessarily follow it. So many people have taken time to tell you how to “Make friends with our son or daughter.” But we haven’t really seen what you have done to pursue the options we have given you. </p>

<p>UCDad is right, it isn’t the college, it is the student who is most responsible for their experience. Go back over your past pleas for help and create a plan of action for how you will make new friends then, over the summer or your year off if you take it, practice, practice, practice. Smile and say hello to people you don’t know until it feels natural. Try out for a summer production or take a summer class at a CC just for fun. While in that class practice talking to your fellow students. " Hi, How’s it going" What did you think of last night’s reading assignment?" </p>

<p>Also check out The Naked Roommate and the College Student’s Survival Guide. Two good & easy reads that can help make your transition back for your Junior year easier. But remember, as long as you don’t put advice into action it is worthless and we are all wasing out time.</p>

<p>Best of Luck to you, but don’t count on luck to get you out of this.</p>

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<p>The UCs offer a great study abroad program. It’s called UC Education Abroad, and offers programs in 34 countries. It would give you a chance to learn and try something new and yet stay on track to graduate within the UC system.</p>

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<p>^^
and meet new friends away from campus</p>

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<p>but remember the words of Yogi Berra: No matter where you go, there YOU are.</p>