<p>I know my English is bad, but i tried really hard typing this. Please let me know any criticism, concerns, or suggestions.
my grades are too low for regular admission, but they are a little high in the eop
a lot of my friends got in with lower grades in eop....so i think i still might have chance
Thank you </p>
<p>To whom it may concern,
My name is-------(SB ID- 10977-----), and I was recently declined from the waitlist. I am writing this letter in hopes that the university will reconsider my application. I understand choosing the most outstanding individuals among the various applicants perhaps put me at a disadvantage. However, I still want to strive for one last time for myself and my dream school, Stony Brook University. I adore the school in three significant ways: the eligibility of the EOP Program, its suburban environment, and the access to continue my musical talent or to learn martial arts.
Upon the completion of my high school career at Cathedral High School, I received the Mathematics award for achieving the highest math GPA, as well as other awards. As I walked out of the graduation ceremony, I exuded pride and confidence. It has been an arduous journey. Spending relentless amount of time studying finally yielded a GPA of 95. I thought GPA meant everything for college admission for the past three years. However, I realized that I was wrong. I thought all the sleepless nights would be worth it until I finally realized that my inadequate English reading skills have hindered my performance on the SAT verbal section. On a more personal level, the thought of not having a house to live in after my eighteenth birthday intimidated me and gave me more stress along with staying in the top five of the class, and committing to my band practices during the critical period of the college application process. I took more time to study after work than other students since my starting point was behind everyone else. I found out that all I was doing was studying the content for each test and blindly memorizing the various vocabulary words. Even though it was the wrong way to learn English, it was still especially hard for me to achieve a good GPA because English is my third language. Due to many family problems, I also started working when I was fourteen to support myself. Needless to say, those long hours of working took away from my social and study time. I do not mean to make any excuses for my academic performance, but I would like the admission committee to understand my circumstances.
Stony Brook University is my most appealing option because it recognizes my needs and potential to improve my English writing and reading skills. Even though I have been accepted to many colleges, all of them declined my to enroll me through the EOP or HEOP program due to my high GPA. Stony Brook University is the only school that understands that someone like me with a high GPA still might benefit from the tutoring, counseling, and the summer academy. I want to be better prepared for a successful college life. I want to step out of my comfort zone, away from the streets and the avenues, and leave the city that I have known for seven years. I want to be adventurous. I want to take buses to go to Wal-Mart to shop for groceries, or walk three miles with my friends to get to the West Meadow beach.
When I visited the campus in February, I tried to picture myself enjoying lunch with my friends at the Staller Steps, basking in the sun. It seems to be the only warm and cozy place that I can find away from home. After I finally toured the whole campus, I sneaked into the music room to see my friend perform. Not only was the music exhilarating, but I heard the group spirit and all efforts they put into it. It meant a great deal to me as the leader of the low brass section in my high school marching band. I saw an opportunity to continue my musical talent. I really believe that I will continue to grow to love Stony Brook University. I have been accepted by City College, but I would prefer to continue my education in the peaceful suburbs, away from the chaos of the city. I have been confined in the city all my life since I entered America at the age of ten. I want to experience a new environment and broaden my horizons. It would also make me the first person to graduate with a college degree in my family.
I thirst for the dynamic atmosphere of engineering that Stony Brook University provides. It is the most fitting place that can provide me with a challenging engineering major along with an exciting and bonding community of learning and friendships. After speaking to a few alumni from Stony Brook, I am fascinated by their experience of making life-lasting friendships from college and finding their passions in their successful careers. This ties me to the university even more deeply. As I did more research on the school’s programs, I came across something I wanted to learn all my life. It was the Martial Arts Club. Martial Arts is something that I would definitely explore in my college career. After the knock-out competition against those who are on the wait list, I do not feel any failure. I have expressed who I really am thoroughly with no regrets in this letter. I am tenacious and do not want my SAT Scores to define my whole high school career. I am looking forward to your judgment, and I will not stop trying each year until I get into your school.
I have grown stronger in my language skills throughout my senior year from communicating with teachers and reading fictions, and I am confident that it would continue to improve. Even though Stony Brook University still lingers my mind, I do feel proud of my options and I am sure that I will succeed in my other college. Thank you for your time reading my appeal. </p>