Is this a good idea for an essay?

College Essays
1

<p>An essay prompt is: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.</p>

<p>I was planning on writing about my brother who was 5 years older than me. He was always my role model as a child. When he was entering the 9th grade I was entering the 4th and he changed a lot. He went from being in the top of his class to behaving very erratically. He began heavy drug use and was arrested numerous times. Shortly after this great downfall he was examined and diagnosed bipolar and schizophrenic. Between the ages of 15-20 he was in and out of mental hospitals, rehab facilities, and jails (he used drugs to stop the voices and was typically arrested for things he was doing before he had medication for his illness). I saw him very infrequently. He had basically exited my life. Around age 20 he began medication that seemed to help him a bit. He became clean and sober, found God, and even began schooling again. He fixed all of his family relationships and began spending time with me and even volunteered with me frequently. His medicine often failed and he had very schizophrenic, bad days. Through all of this though, he kept a positive and loving attitude towards our family. He totally turned his life around even with his illness and he constantly talked to me about how proud he was of me. 2 months ago he was in a car wreck suspectedly intentional. His illness was out of control and there was nothing he could do, but he always tried and gave me great motivation. </p>

<p>Is this something worth writing about? It is entirely sincere but would colleges see that as well?</p>

2

<p>Your college application essay is supposed to be about <em>you</em>. It’s the one chance you have to personally sell yourself (aside from an interview). Colleges want to know who you are, not another family member. If you can possibly write about how this experience changed you for the better, how you grew from it, then it would be appropriate. From this post it just seems like you would be telling your brother’s life story… I think that could be dangerous. You want the focus of your essay to consistently remain on you, likely drawing from experiences you had with your brother. If you can do that then I think you’ll be okay. However, don’t forget that this is your chance for the admissions committee to get to know you.</p>

3

<p>I think it could be good as long as the majority of the focus is his influence on YOU. luck:)</p>

4

<p>Ditto the above posts.</p>

5

<p>I’m sorry I wrote my originally too quickly. I fully planned on writing about that and how seeing his struggles gave me a lot of my motivation to become a much better student and person then i previously was.</p>

6

<p>Then it sounds good:)</p>