<p>I sent this email recently to the person who sort of acted as my "boss" during my internship this summer. I'm a senior in high school, and I wanted to meet with him and discuss some of the schools I want to apply to and what his opinion was. Normally this person is extremely speedy with answering emails, and when I first asked he enthusiastically accepted to help me out with the admissions process. So this is what I sent after that:</p>
<p>(FYI he was out of town when I wrote the initial email so that's why that response from him was late, but he's back now)</p>
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<p>It's no problem at all, when I initially sent the email I received an away message that informed me you were out of office, so I didn't expect a speedy reply. And thank you for agreeing to meet with me, I'd like to stop by sometime next week if that's alright? But time is up to you and your schedule, I wouldn't want to inconvenience you for any reason especially if you're in the middle of working on something important. Thanks again!</p>
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<p>When I read it back I kinda got the vibe I was being snarky or rude in a sense? But that wasn't my intention. He hasn't replied in 3 days and I know he's practically connected to his email. Does he not have time or did I say something rude? Or does he just not want to help anymore? Most likely it's overreaction on my end and he just hasn't had time to get to it.</p>
<p>I don’t think it is snarky, but you may not be his top priority right now. Especially if he has been out and is fighting fires that occurred while he was gone. But… I would leave it at this. You have emailed twice, and the ball is in his court. I would not ask him again. If he contacts you with a time, great! But if not, I would not keep bugging him. You might want to use him as a reference at some point, and you don’t want to go off on a bad note.</p>
<p>As an aside… I have to say that very few of the “bosses” I have had over the years would have given good college advice. Are you sure he is a good person to ask about this? He may be hesitating because it isn’t something he feels prepared to advise on… not everyone spends as much time thinking about this topic as those you meet on CC. He might only know much about the school he happened to attend…</p>
<p>@intparent: Yes, I’m specifically asking this person because they got a degree in International Relations, which is what I want to study. I feel as though his opinion would be beneficial. And he was very happy to help at first, but he just never replied to this email. I assume its just a time issue. Besides, I want to get on his good side so I can ask him for a reccomendation in the future so I assumed asking for personal advice was a good way to start.</p>
<p>Sort of… but bugging him is NOT a good way to ask for a recommendation. Take it from someone with a lot of work experience, taking time out of the office makes you crazy for several days before you leave and at least a week after you get back. The work doesn’t stop, it just gets backed up in your inbox… Even if he does feel he can help you, you just aren’t going to get prioritized over other stuff right now. Assume he will get back to you when he can. If you don’t hear back in say three weeks, then maybe email one more time. </p>
<p>But even if you want the same degree he has, most adults who do not have college age kids who want to study the same thing aren’t thinking real hard about college options. They aren’t up on the latest on colleges, their info is ~20 years old and may not be that well informed to start with. Just be careful that you aren’t using this as an excuse to suck up a bit for a recommendation, but putting him in an uncomfortable spot because he can’t give you knowledgable advice about the different programs you might apply to.</p>
Yes. You “didn’t expect”? That’s not how you address someone who’s doing you a favor. And you should always assume that whatever he’s working on is “something important.” It’s also too familiar - you need a professional e-mail.</p>
<p>It should be something like this:
"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me. If it’s convenient, I’d like to stop by to discuss [whatever it is]. Please let me know what date and time would be convenient for you. My applications are due by . . . "</p>
<p>That does not impose on him, and allows him to choose a date and time. It also lets him know when things are due so he can choose date before then.</p>
<p>Ok thanks! Yeah, I probably could have worded that a little better, it was hasty and I didn’t necessarily mean for it to sound rude. Which is why I’m asking. And besides, it was a high school summer internship. It wasn’t extremely formal in the first place which is why I wasn’t very high strung and formal in the email but rather a bit informal. But I understand where you’re coming from especially if I’m asking for a favor.</p>
<p>IMHO your email was off putting.
You put him in an defensive position.
He shouldn’t have to reply according to your time expectations.
Since you are a hs student you should run emails by a trusted friend/adult until you get used to writing authoritative persons with appropriate respect.</p>
<p>The thing is, this person asked what time would be most convenient for me to begin with, and I initially asked when it would be best for me to approach this person. It’s not as if I approached him with a certain time or date and expected him to comply automatically. But I understand. And to be honest I am usually extremely respectful and formal in email. The reason why some of you believe it may be off putting is because you don’t know the background to this, but it’s irrelevant. I appreciate your opinion anyway, thank you!</p>
<p>I’m not as concerned about your wording. I agree he’s probably got other tasks to handle. But I disagree about just waiting. You don’t know if he has a big sticky note with your name on it, where he sees it daily. Wait a few more days, then call. I don’t see a problem with suggesting a date and deferring to him. Eg, the pleasantries, then: I don’t have class next Monday, would that be convenient? Or something you are comfortable with. He already left the door open, right?</p>
<p>Let me tell you that plenty of experienced adults can’t write the ultimate perfect email and when there is some relationship- and you already successfully broached this with him- the reader doesn’t always stop to over analyze. You are trying to get some feedback; networking is worth practicing. Next time, maybe you write it differently. For now, don’t let your confidence be undermined. Good luck.</p>
<p>I don’t think you were rude at all. He’s probably just busy catching up on his email after he was out of town or doing other projects. Perhaps, he doesn’t know what his schedule will look like yet so he doesn’t have time yet. There are a million reasons why he might not have replied yet. Don’t worry about it. It sounds like you had a good relationship with him, so I don’t think you’re email was rude nor do I expect him to interpret it as such. It’s fine. Give him some more time.</p>
He might only know much about the school he happened to attend…</p>