Is this information correct?

Applying to College
1

So a friend of mine told me that her older brother heard from an admissions officer that it’s good to not only update your colleges on any new achievements in an email, but to:

-Say what you would like to continue in college
-Ask a question to keep the conversation flowing

Originally, I was only going to update them with my three track awards, but I’m not sure now.

(The awards are All-County, All- Conference, and qualified for state championship)

I wrote this one; could anyone tell me if it’s okay?

Dear ______,

        --- is an institution of the most exceptionally diverse opportunities. The university has the potential of shaping one’s goals into an attainable future. I want to make my dreams into a reality, and there is no better place to accomplish this task than at ---.

        Throughout my college experience, I will shape my future by growing not only as a scholar, but also simply as a person. The full college experience is garnered through exploring beyond academic wealth, but through interacting and joining communities, which is what I look forward to most about entering an institution. During my years in high school, I took a particular interest in sports, especially track and field. Track always served as an oasis, but also, ironically, provided me with a support system within my team. I sprint for the --- varsity track team and currently race for the winter season. I recently qualified for the --- State Championship Track Meet for the --- race with a personal record time of --- seconds. However, my accomplishments in running track are not the reason why it holds significance to me, but it is because of the intriguing component of health that it ties into.

        The significance of health in all aspects of life always fascinated, finding a special interest specifically on men’s health and bringing awareness to the topic. With my aspiration in mind, I want to expand my agenda while in college. I would actually like to know if --- has an organization that focuses on the imperative nature of familiarizing society with men’s health issues.

        Thank you for your help and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Thanks everyone!

2

Admissions officer are swamped now. They are not looking to have a discourse at this point. And they certainly are not looking for more to read. Only send an update if you have something truly significant. If you are not a recruited track athlete, then I don’t think your updated track achievements or times will matter one iota in terms of admissions. If you do send something (which I would not) it should be very short – a few lines. IMO it is absolutely not the time to send a admission officers a long discourse like you have written.

3

I think that’s way over the top. Just write it directly, I don’t think they need another essay.

4

@happy1 For a couple of my D3 colleges, I am on the prospective student-athlete list which is I guess as far as recruiting goes for the RD rounds. Do you still think I shouldn’t update them with just the awards?

5

Just let them known of the awards. period.

6

If you are being recruited then you can send a quick update. Just keep it short. Perhaps let the coach know as well (I don’t know about sports recruiting in college)? .

7

Could anybody give me a general format for the email? I’m probably overthinking this way too much…

But thanks for the responses, I’ll keep it short and sweet. A simple update on the awards

8

This is how I usually email.

Hello,

(Introduce yourself by giving them your name and information such as year/term transfer/freshman etc)
I’d like to update on recent accomplishments. I have recently achieved __, , and would appreciate it if this could be reviewed with my application. (Thank you in advance!)

Best,
(name)

Note: You can thank them along with your first email or reply after they comply, or not thank them at all (I don’t)

9

Third hand info is never reliable.