is this really duke?

<p>Well…my brother is was in a frat at Duke, and I think it may be healthier than at most places. the frat scene at Duke is very integrated into the rest of the community, which makes it much safer and healthier, than someplace like Yale, for example, where they basically separate into their own thing without any checks. But really, there’s no college where you can protect your children from the parties, believe me. You just have to let go and hope you taught them well.</p>

<p>If anything, that article makes Duke’s social scene even better. Parties like that are fun, except for the whole rape-scandal case.
College is about experience and fun. The book worms on this forum scare me sometimes. You only have one life to live-so please live it.</p>

<p>skateboarder, if Durham sucks so bad, why do UNC people frequent Durham as often as they do?!! Chapel Hill has no mall; that’s why the UNC students go to Southpointe, which is in DURHAM! Chapel Hill has no B&N, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, or Target; that’s why the UNC students have to go to DURHAM if they wish to go to these stores. And if crime is so bad in Durham, then it must be horrible in Chapel Hill as well. Where was Eve Carson murdered?! not in DURHAM! </p>

<p>UNC people love to trash Durham every chance they get, but they never admit how much business they bring Durham or how often they go to Durham…</p>

<p>Umm, DukeAlumnus, skateboarder is not a UNC student, and from the looks of it is a prospective Dukie from NC who probably does know what he’s talking about. </p>

<p>And as far as crime goes, let’s face it, Durham is more dangerous than Chapel Hill. If you’re at Duke with no car, you can go to Ninth street or Brightleaf Square or Erwin or something, but I’ve never felt completely at ease at any of those places. CH, meanwhile, has Franklin Street which feels completely safe. Eve Carson was killed at like 5 am - not a safe time for anyone to be out regardless of location. And there was a Duke student murdered last year also - in which the murderers entered his apartment and shot him point blank. In Durham. Durham is NOT safe. </p>

<p>Yeah, Durham has all the stores you just mentioned, but to enjoy it as a Dukie you need a car (or rent a ZipCar or have a friend with a car). But if you do have a car, then Durham is amazing and you can take advantage of all the (many) pros of it. But until then, Durham does seem to “suck” sometimes.</p>

<p>To all the prospective Dukies I probably just scared away with this post - I’m not trying to make Durham sound like a place of certain murder or anything. There are lots of really cool places on Ninth/Brightleaf/Erwin/etc., but you do need to be more careful here than you do in the hometowns of most of the students here. If you are careful (as my friends and I have been), you’ll be perfectly fine (as my friends and I have been).</p>

<p>yeah i have no idea what im talking about. its not like ive gone to high school in durham for two years and spent a good deal of time in/around durham or anything.</p>

<p>sure, its a great city if you have no standards, or are a member in good standing of the crips/bloods.</p>

<p>oh and we have a borders, so a B&N isnt really necessary. chapel hill doesn’t have a wal-mart because we have some standards of decency over here.</p>

<p>collegeorama - I am a Duke alum and have two observations: 1) I think for the most part the Greek scene is fraught with distraction and potentially unhealthy for the immature - concepts I think you agree with; and 2) it is not a good place to be poor. </p>

<p>I attended on athletic scholarship, and felt fortunate to be there given my single mother’s poverty stricken circumstance. Unlike most athletes, I was way above the admitted mean in terms of high school scores and grades, and school was important, it was my way out. And drinking more than a beer or two and doing drugs was out of the question - that was a ticket back to a union job driving a forklift - no way I could compete at a high level doing those kind of things. </p>

<p>I frankly found the Greek scene frivolous, and certainly not my cup of tea. I was a tough kid from a large city, and valued mental toughness and discipline and standing on one’s own feet without Mommy and Daddy there to help above all else. Nothing about the frat scene at Duke fit with that view of life. </p>

<p>I hesitate to complain too much. The loafer wearing Greek crowd did in fact motivate me. I certainly did not want them to be seen as smarter than I was - and made sure that was the case. And well, as far as athletic ability, well, very few really knew what it meant to compete and be a tough SOB - largely an effete bunch. </p>

<p>Notwithstanding - make no mistake, the education was excellent and the school and the faculty absolutely did right by me - in every way. But as a parent, I sure as heck would be a bit concerned about the social scene at Duke (to be fair, other schools trip this wire, too) if I had an inclination my kid was immature.</p>

<p>Well I will keep you guys posted in a couple of months!</p>

<p>mam1959, my freshman has just returned home for the summer, still wild about Duke. We don’t yet know grades, but they are probably fine. I’m still worried about the social scene, the drinking and hooking up and the wealth. If only more students like you were around!</p>

<p>Well, when the movie “I Am Charlotte Simmons” comes out, then there will be even more talk about Duke and the party scene. Tom Wolfe lived in one of the frat houses for a period of time before writing his book. Of course it is fiction. But, Wolfe got his ideas from interviews and observation. To be fair, I believe he also studied at least one other campus.</p>

<p>My son graduates from Duke tomorrow. He was an active greek member and community volunteer. Duke was an amazing four years. Yes, I am sure he had a drink or two or …, but it is all in the balance…work hard, play hard. That’s what I did in college too.</p>

<p>lol SBR, I was giving that tour with him. Coincidence.</p>

<p>NO it’s not really Duke.
Maybe like, a certain small segment of the greek scene.</p>

<p>Dear old Duke… :)</p>

<p>I am Charlotte Simmons is one of the worst books I’ve read. It is so fake and overdone. There is nothing genuine in that book even though the author claims that it is based on Duke and Upenn. It makes it seem that all the students are rich, morally decayed, and status obsessed. </p>

<p>We are suppoesed to believe that the main character is a genius and “an intellectual” yet the whole time she doesn’t care a bit about studying and the whole books fixes on her insecurities about not being popular, not having a boyfriend, not being rich like everyone else…etc.</p>

<p>Well cit, I think when you get here you will find that it is very status obsessed. </p>

<p>From my observation, here is how it went (I will be a senior next year). This is just my opinion:</p>

<p>Freshman Year: 1st semester is getting to know everyone and make yourself known. If you want to be in a “top” frat or sorority, you might try and build connections. Otherwise, it is just a lot of partying. Second semester is rush/pledge.</p>

<p>Sophomore year: Disgusting how status concerned some people are. This whole year seemed fake to me. Everyone worked their ass off second semester freshman year to get their status, and they will let you know it. </p>

<p>Junior year: After studying abroad, everyone seems to come together and status doesn’t really matter as much. This year was great and very refreshing. Maybe it was because all juniors lived in Few, but really it was a lot like first semester freshman year. Your close friends might be the ones you made during pledge, but now you are willing to talk to your other peers as well. </p>

<p>Senior Year: I haven’t experienced it but from upperclassmen, it seems to be like first semester freshman year. People realize their time is coming to an end and party hard. </p>

<p>This is simply my opinion. In a way, I think its why Duke alumni are so successful on Wall Street. The cultures are basically the same. This obviously isn’t the entire Duke population, but in my mind it is how I see a lot of people (and the same people I see every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights). </p>

<p>I think Greek life here is detrimental to the student body. A lot of my friends really struggle with the culture. As a guy, I don’t really mind it. But I think it is very tough on a lot of girls (and much of that pressure is caused by girls, not guys). If I have a daughter, I would want to make sure she was very strong before I sent her to Duke. Some of the girls here are rutheless, and the pressure can really be hard on girls. For many girls here, being at the top simply isn’t enough. There is always someone ahead of you and the jealousy is insane. </p>

<p>I have really loved my time at Duke and have a great set of friends. And I don’t think anyone can judge until they can look back on their entire four years (which means I am jumping the gun here).</p>

<p>I gotta agree about greek life and girls.
The rush process sets them up for devastation. I have never really seen girls just being *****es to one another or acting too cool, but I feel like, especially when JC was around, girls would put their own pressure on social status. I know WAY too many girls who were WAY too devastated during the rush process. It was honestly sad to see people saying how they wanted to transfer and how upset they were about their sorority.</p>

<p>Yet, go ask 9/10 of them now and I bet they will be completely content with what happened, especially because of how much of a joke sororities are here and how little interaction and togetherness there is.
Girls keep their own friends and make a couple new ones with a sorority. Sure it will help your “status” to be tridelt or whatever when it comes to mixing with “top fraternities,” but a lot of them seem like total ***<strong><em>rs anyhow.
For guys, some people get screwed over, but with how guys rush goes, you either *</em></strong>ed the wrong person off, came off in a way that people dont like, or just wouldn’t fit in (reasons for being cut I mean)</p>

<p>It sucks that everything is like that (I’m a girl btw). I keep getting different messages. Some people I know seem to genuinely enjoy Duke and are not the least bit snobby or into cliques. But then again I do know a girl who was very insecure in high school and all of her facebook pictures show her partying. </p>

<p>So can you miss all the tension at rushing if you just stay at home? I heard that you’re supposed to come a week early if you want to rush…so maybe I just won’t go.</p>

<p>How “cliquish” is Duke? Do people only talk and hang out with their exclusive friends? Will you have a harder time fitting in if you are the shy and quiet type and don’t like to party?</p>

<p>If you don’t take greek life too seriously, than I think it is pretty easy to genuinely love Duke. A lot of girls think that guys are very selective about what sororities girls are in, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Most Duke guys just want a cool, cute girl to hook up with (regardless of sorority). A lot of guys are also willing to form meaningful relationships, although this is rarer and pretty difficult freshman year. </p>

<p>And not at all would I say you shouldn’t rush (you have a whole semester to decide). You should form those opinions for yourself. I would just say take a step back and realize what sorority you end up in isn’t the end of the world at all. You should join a group because you like the girls, not because of status. </p>

<p>The good thing is if you don’t like to party, than you can pretty much ignore the greek scene which will make Duke seem pretty amazing. If you don’t like to party, there are a lot of people like you (although they aren’t as visible to Rolling Stones). I might recommend even thinking about requesting Brown for your freshman dorm. The last thing on your mind would be partying/status and you would make some great friends. Other kids might give you a hard time, but who honestly cares. I am in Pratt, and a lot of my friends don’t party most nights. They are still some of the most genuine people I have met at Duke and they are very refreshing. </p>

<p>I have been ripping the Greek life here, but it has its positives. It creates long-lasting friendships and great bonds. If you can distance yourself from the status-culture, you should really love Duke. Just be yourself.</p>

<p>I agree. For every girl that likes to get hammered 5 nights a week, there are 5 girls that like to go out everyonce and a while and hit up shooters, and 8 girls that like to just hang out and not drink at all
I mean… that’s totally made up but whatever.
I recommend all guys to rush and try to join a fraternity. Most of them are just real laid back guys that like to have a good time, but are still really focused. The “nerdiest pratt kids” still have their places in greek life.
I recommend all girls to rush too, but only stick with it if you like it</p>

<p>There are dorms in Duke that are Substance Free, like students who live there are committed to be substance free students</p>

<p>That is correct. Brown is the freshman substance-free dorm.</p>

<p>^ Ironically a drug-free dorm named “Brown”.</p>