Is this the end of the road?

Prep School Admissions
1

<p>Hey everyone.</p>

<p>It's been quiet some time since my last post. I have had a rough past six months academic wise. After I received notice that my applications weren't completed due to a mix up in the mail system, I kinda went into shock where I just didn't do anything. You see, I have this tendency were if something dramatic happens in my life, I just shut down. This happened seventh grade year when my parents split, and also in eighth grade year when I moved schools and didn't succeed at all (I had A's straight A's first semester but second semester I failed all my classes) as well as being rejected from two boarding schools I applied to.</p>

<p>Then Freshman year came along. I was excited because I was finally in high school. I spent the first month at a performing arts charter school where I was excelling in areas that I didn't even know I had interest in (Let's say that I'm now an official drama kid [: ). I was taking senior AP classes and was totally enjoying the experience but I wasn't really making friends. I decided that I wanted to go to the high school were my siblings went and where my friends were. This school was on block scheduling so it was a game of catch up when I got there. I had to make up the equivalent of three months of work as well as keep up with what was currently being taught. I managed to get A's, B's, and a C the first semester. I forgot to mention that my family was hosting three foreign exchange students as well. Well, when second semester comes I'm in a total groove. I was starting baseball (one of my two passions along with drama), I was making a ton of friends, my grades were stellar, and I was finally enjoying school for the first time since 6th grade. That was until my three foreign exchange students, who were practically my siblings by that time, had decided to leave our home for an unknown reason and change to different home. On top of this, I received my "decisions" from the boarding schools I "applied" to. Needless to say I shut down again. I didn't attend school for two straight weeks (equivalent of a month in block scheduling). It was a game of catch up that i just couldn't win this time. I ended this year with one C, two D's, and a F. I guess I really wasn't elite boarding school material.</p>

<p>You see, I want to attend boarding school for exactly this reason. In boarding school, I have the stability where dramatic things like I aforementioned can't cause me to shut down. I know this is a terrible excuse because in real life doesn't have the structure of a boarding school and that when I finally enter the real world I would probably shut down again. I hoped that if I went to boarding school they could teach me how to not shut down when these things happen and just to continue on with whatever I was doing. </p>

<p>Anyways, this post is written very, very terribly because I am just trying to get everything that has been bugging me these past three years out of my head so I can share it with someone who can give me their opinion on what I should do. I want to apply to boarding school this coming year but I don't think I have what it takes. My grades are terrible, and I don't know how to fix them or how to explain that the reason my grades are bad is because i'm a terrible student without them thinking that I'm a terrible student (if that makes sense). I may regret this post later but I just need another persons opinion on the matter (and sorry if this is in the wrong part of this forum!)...</p>

<p>Thank you for your time,
AZP</p>

2

<p>Don’t stop trying, honestly everyone needs a way to express their feelings, this does not make you a bad boarding school candidate, i think that the admissions office will consider you if you explain to them why this is happening and how you are improving or trying to control this. Good Luck!!!</p>

3

<p>It sounds as though you’re looking for stability and structure. Lots of kids crave those things. It’s not a disgrace to mention that on your applications.</p>

4

<p>The problem is that boarding schools are looking for kids who are already independent and high functioning. being able to maintain an even keep when life falls apart around you is almost a prerequisite for being a boarding school student.</p>

<p>The reality is that things won’t be perfect at boarding school. All sorts of things can go wrong - from having a French teacher you can’t stand, to having a roommate you don’t get along with, to not making the varsity sports team, to having a close friend withdraw from school mid-year. And it’s not the school’s job to put you back together when these things happen. Sure, the school will support you . . . but you’re expected to do most of the heavy lifting yourself.</p>

<p>Your tendency to “shut down” makes sense to me . . . I want to do the same thing myself sometimes. But you need to deal with it now, before you go away to school. Life is one long sequence of unexpected events . . . and you have to be able not only to cope, but to flourish despite that.</p>

<p>Talk to someone at your school, or talk to your doctor . . . and tell them you need some help. I don’t know what your situation is like at home, but if this is happening and your parents haven’t noticed, it’s time to get help from someone else. Something is going on that’s beyond what you can deal with yourself, and it’s not your fault. If no one else is saying, “Hey, let’s give Azpandaman some help with this,” then it’s time for you to say it yourself! You’ve got way too much going for you to let something you can’t control screw it all up.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, that having been said . . . take a look at Verde Valley School. No, it’s not in New England, and it’s not famous (at least not on CC!), but it might give you another, more attainable option that’s closer to home.</p>

<p>Good luck . . . and keep us posted!</p>

5

<p>@azpanda</p>

<p>I have enjoyed your posts, and appreciate your sincerity and honesty. Each of us has gone through times when we think we should have done better, but could not because of stress, preoccupation or external factors.</p>

<p>Give yourself time. If there are good things (and friends) at your current high school, go back and search them out. Ask for help from counselors, advisors and adults. Try to set up a support system for yourself so you will not miss 2 weeks of school when you are upset by something.</p>

<p>College comes very, very quickly. Think of these years as a practice for that challenge, and work to strengthen your resilience, and make a game plan to deal with adversity.</p>

<p>Big Hug from your friends at CC.</p>

6

<p>Do you think you might do better switching back to the arts high school?</p>

7

<p>Take a look at these schools:</p>

<p>[Boarding</a> Schools Offering Theatre - Boarding School Review](<a href=“http://www.boardingschoolreview.com/schools_by_extracurricular/Theatre]Boarding”>Best Boarding Schools by Extracurricular (2023))</p>

<p>There is a place for you, but you must do the research to find it; start digging.</p>

8

<p>No AZP, it’s not the end…it’s just the beginning. Life gives you lots of chances to start over and be successful. Don’t get discouraged. You’re finding out what you need to be productive and succeed. Is boarding school the only option? I’d broaden my search…what about good day schools? </p>

<p>So much of BS admissions is a crapshoot. Keep trying. And getting in isn’t necessarily a stamp of approval in any way. Make a schedule of what to do when to make sure your new apps stay on track.</p>

<p>3 rounds of apps with my kids have taught me to ask the teachers for their letters of rec earlier than you think. I was startled when my kids’ teachers said they need a month’s advance notice. So if you want them in the beginning of Jan, you need to ask essentially the end of November/very beginning of Dec and even then, I had to keep my fingres crossed. Ask after Thanksgiving to get your request in the queue early to ensure completion. Good Luck! And I don’t blame you for needing to take some time off…The app process itself is extremely rigorous.</p>

9

<p>Out of curiosity, I just clicked on the link that granny2 listed above. It is by no means a full list. I think the theater director at the school I currently teach at would be interested to know that his program does not exist. I also did not see any listings for other schools that I am pretty sure offer theater after school. Do research, yes, but remember that the best research is goingto come from contacting schools directly.</p>

<p>I also want to underscore everything dodgersmom said. Boarding school is not for everyone, it is an environment that works for kids who have a fair amount of healthy coping strategies already in place. There is help out there for you. I hope you will seek it.</p>

<p>Best wishes.</p>

10

<p>@azpandaman, I’m going to go out on a limb here and speak quite frankly.</p>

<p>This may be hard to hear, but I think you need to let the dream of attending boarding school go, and focus on doing the very best you can these next few years to position yourself for college acceptance. </p>

<p>One admissions officer told us candidly that they look very closely at any “red flags” on a potential student’s application. The “red flags” are not an automatic disqualifier, but that applicant gets considerable scrutiny. If you can somehow “knock down” the flags, then the application gets passed on for further review. If not, then the application is immediately put in the “no” pile.</p>

<p>Schools are looking for students that they feel have a very good chance of being successful living away from home, managing the stress and pressure of boarding school life. Your track record (poor grades, extended absences) raises some pretty big “red flags” that I think would be pretty hard for you to “knock down” without several years of demonstrated academic success.</p>

<p>These same “red flags” from your 8th grade and freshman years will be there in your college applications - but you have sophomore through senior years to create a strong track record, showing that the issues you experienced were just a big “bump in the road,” and that you have the ability to overcome challenges and ultimately excel.</p>

<p>Keep your eye on the big picture:<br>
Step 1: do well in high school, so you can. . .
Step 2: get into a college that is the right environment for you, and. . .
Step 3: go on to find work and a career that enable you to lead a meaningful, fulfilling life.</p>

<p>Boarding school is not for everyone, for lots and lots of reasons. Your ability to achieve your lifelong dreams is not dependent on what kind of high school you attend. I know high school seniors that have been accepted to top colleges from elite boarding schools, private day schools, public schools, little tiny rural schools, and yes, even homeschools. </p>

<p>Your future success depends primarily on one thing, and one thing only: your own internal drive, and your willingness to stop making excuses for your behavior, and to “buck up” and do the hard work required to get where you want to be in a few years.</p>

<p>Sorry if I seem too harsh - I wish you the very best, and hope you will let us all know how you are doing this coming school year.</p>

11

<p>That may be a little harsh. It’s a new day. Fresh beginnings happen every day. Think about what you want, and don’t be afraid to pursue it. Work hard and try to identify steps in meeting your goals. It’ll happen.</p>

12

<p>Two schools come to mind that accept students in your situation: Gould Academy in Bethel, Maine and New Hampton School in New Hampton, New Hampshire. They are fine schools and would provide the support you need. I personally know two student, both in ‘different’ circumstances as you seem to be, who flourished at these schools. There must be others like these.</p>

13

<p>Hey Pandaman! </p>

<p>Thanks for being so forthcoming about your situation. That takes a lot of guts. I don’t think you should ever “give up” but I think it’s important to be realistic - the tendency to shut down, the need for good references from teachers and schools that document your work in class and your attendance rate will likely eliminate boarding school options from your repertoire. There are a lot of stresses at boarding school that will mirror the concerns you have at home that cause you to “shut down.” You may make friends who leave for personal or academic reasons. You’ll have teachers you like and don’t like. The workload can sometimes be oppressive. Dorm life requires adjusting to a lot of different cultures and personalities. Roommates are not always ideal fits.</p>

<p>What I’ve often seen on this and other forums is that the need to achieve a specific goal (on this forum its get into boarding school) can fuel a type of obsession - especially if some students are reaching the goal that others covet. But it can also obscure the real facts - boarding schools are not paradise. They are often ten times harder than a student’s local school - socially and academically.</p>

<p>You’re a sophomore now so spots (even repeat spots) are going to be fewer. Find a counselor you can talk to. Someone who can help you find coping skills to get over the hump - then find a college where you can thrive after graduation. You might want to check out the Forty Colleges That Change Lives site for a preview of some very good colleges that have worked wonders with students who don’t operate in a cookie cutter manner.</p>

<p>Good luck and hang in there!</p>