<p>Rayray1- “get over it?”. You think it’s no big deal for your 15 year old brother to be smoking pot? My son has two arrests involving pot…I’ve also learned he smokes several times a week and even alone. I won’t just get over it.</p>
<p>He may need a complete mental health evaluation, though even with that it may be tough to get to the bottom of this. Poor judgment, disrespect, a change of behavior and increased drug use (self-medicating) can be signs of serious mental illness. I hope not. Whether it’s addiction or mental illness, this is a big challenge for your family. Sneakily keeping a door open for his friends to party is very far from a normal decision. Good luck–be loving and tough. Very tough.</p>
<p>^^
Letting a group of friends party in your parental home is not that unusual. It happened when my kids were teens where we live, the house involved was trashed (the family didn’t know the partying was happening until they got home) yada, yada.</p>
<p>I think the kid is now in medical school.</p>
<p>"“He’s basically said that he thinks its harmless . . .” Download some photos from the Zetas Drug Cartel. Show him what he is paying for and then ask him again if he thinks it is harmless. “”</p>
<p>I agree with this. Tell him boy if your gonna smoke stick to the homegrown!</p>
<p>Please note that smoking alone doesn’t always indicate a problem. Some people prefer to smoke alone - I honestly kind of do sometimes. It does indicate that he’s not just an occasional smoker at parties, but it doesn’t specifically mean he has any sort of issue. For some it’s kind of like a glass of wine at the end of the day, that’s how it was for me anyway. I used to smoke every day, alone, at college and now that it’s summer I have stopped completely with no problems at all. He COULD have a problem, but I know many people that smoke alone all the time with no issues.</p>
<p>Ever think that people just google the word Pot to see what comes up so they can respond?</p>
<p>Mojo91, you rock.</p>
<p>KM, I know that it probably feels like the world is crashing in and the responses from some of these posters is probably not helping! I don’t want to act like recreational drug use is normal… but I was astounded after doing a statistics project how many “normal” students partake in smoking pot with friends. About 20% of these self righteous parents claiming their sons and daughters do not smoke pot are wrong if national data/my own findings are correct. I honestly don’t think you have too much to worry about. Granted, I was not able to read the entire thread so I only saw the parts about contraband you found in his room + the incident with the basement. Talk with your son and find out if there is something else that is at the root of these problems. He probably is feeling confronted, violated, harassed, and maybe even a bit embarrassed. I think the majority of the proposed solutions in this thread are BS and will only make the problem worse. But then again, I don’t know your son and ultimately you’ll know what to do.</p>
<p>As much as it sucks to hear, marijuana use is becoming more and more common and we have politicians that want to legalize it as parts of their platform. Its the future. Most parents don’t want to hear that, I don’t want to hear that, but what are you going to do?</p>
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<p>Since recreational drug use *is *normal, why shouldn’t you act like it’s normal?</p>
<p>By the way, I am a dad who does not smoke pot, with a son in college who, as far as I know, doesn’t smoke pot. Why not teach your son not to smoke pot, as I have mine, without insisting that everyone should be barred from smoking it?</p>
<p>Our country was founded on the principle of individual liberty. What happened? Why should we feel that we have to impose our beliefs on others, based on our own fears and dislikes? I feel sad when I think about how selfish we have become.</p>
<p>The sad truth is that many of us whether we smoke or not, or whether we did back in the day or not, are scratching out head wondering why it’s still illegal. Quite honestly I’d rather have a kid smoking pot than drinking alcohol anyday but I can’t even talk about that with kids because I’m a parent and both are illegal and it’s my job to toe the line. But there is a world of difference between smoking once in awhile and having a full blown party while parents are away and even the toe the line parent me can understand that difference. I suspect there’s going to be alot of hearburn for KM for the next couple years.</p>
<p>Whether it’s normal or not it is still illegal which can affect the chances at some jobs.</p>
<p>Plus you may think that it should be made legal here in the US - but unless the world makes it legal, the US would just amplify the problems in places in Mexico with their drug cartels.</p>
<p>On the other side, are there any addictive drugs that are legal in the US? While nicotine is addictive, it’s not considered a drug.</p>
<p>He’s been lying to you since high school; he probably smokes a couple times a week. I know people who smoke a couple times a week and don’t have all that paraphernalia.</p>
<p>the cardboard tube& dryer sheet is for when he smokes he puts the dryer sheet over the end of the tube and some more inside. So when he inhales the blunt he holds it and blows it out the tube so it won’t smell because the dryer sheet basically makes it smell good</p>
<p>Having arrests and convictions will** totally eliminate** some jobs–not just affect the chances. Some of these are very secure, well-paying jobs that he might decide later it would be nice to qualify for, including jobs with the federal government and other employers who have taken a stance.</p>
<p>Not yet as she is a highschool studen,t but I wouldn’t mind some certain days to escape this stress. lol</p>
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<p>Actually, I think that most parents of a certain age smoked pot in their youth, and DO want to hear that it is legalized. I certainly do.</p>
<p>I think that it is ridiculous that a person can be charged with a Class B misdemeanor for “constructive possession” in one state simply for being present in someone else’s room with someone else’s pot, even when no use is actually going on and the person might not have even known it was there, while in another state actual possession is treated like a traffic ticket. The consequences of even a misdemeanor can be, as others have pointed out, quite far-reaching. Why on earth would our society wish to impose such a penalty on a completely innocent person using a bogus charge? </p>
<p>This kind of misguided law is the kind of thing that fills prisons with poor people convicted of crack possession while the penalties for cocaine possession are quite different.</p>
<p>IMHO, most of what the drug laws do is create pseudo-criminals and put people’s lives off the track. And, of course, create a vast criminal operation just like Prohibition helped create the Mafia.</p>
<p>“Actually, I think that most parents of a certain age smoked pot in their youth, and DO want to hear that it is legalized. I certainly do.”^^^^^</p>
<p>Actually, I think you are wrong - most parents of a certain age don’t want to hear it is legalized, and those that DO want to engage in a federally illegal activity are smart enough to not blab it on the Internet. IMHO</p>
<p>When is pot smoking a problem? When it starts affecting necessary activities is the usual answer. But pragmatically, it is also a problem once you have been caught. Once you have any violation on your record, you are at very high risk for having the book thrown at you for being a repeat offender. So someone with a clean record who has never been caught with the stuff is always in better shape than someone who is just unlucky enough to get caught. If your student already has an episode on record regarding substance abuse, s/he is going to have to be much more careful than someone who does not.</p>
<p>Pot is more of a problem than indicated above by CTH.</p>
<p>The science is still unclear concerning the physical damage done to developing brains. In fact, there are multiple studies claiming brain damage, especially to developing brains under 25.</p>
<p>I could go on and on, but brain damage is the major problem. Because other drugs, illegal or not, and alcohol, also cause brain damage is not a reason to ignore damage from marijuana.</p>
<p>I agree that there are all kinds of physical issues with pot. Smoking anything is not good for the lungs. I won’t even go into any of the brain damage things. I am perfectly willing to agree that it is not good for your health. Those things don’t seem to deter people, however, as cigarettes and alcohol make quite clear. The difference is that pot is illegal and that there is component to risks one takes in indulging as opposed to legal vices. </p>
<p>Any legal activity can also be a problem when it interferes with what one needs to do. However, that pot is illegal really puts a lot other consequences on the table. You are dealing with folks willing to break the law when you buy the stuff. You are buying stuff that is not being produced to any regulated standards. You can lose your job when traces of pot are in your blood/urine. You can get a criminal record. You can lose financial aid. You can get kicked out of school. You can go to jail. You may have to go to court and incur all kinds of costs and time involvement from your use. </p>
<p>I’ve had kids tell me that the above is why it should be legalized. But that is not what we are addressing, and it is not legal right now. You can argue till you are purple what SHOULD be. But it is not, and all of those risks exist. So you take the risks anyways, get caught and now can be a repeat offender. The ante goes way up when that happens.</p>