<p>My d also seems very happy at UNC-CH. Since she is the 'only' from her h.s. (and school district), she really made the effort to become involved in campus activities which, I think, is why she has adapted so well. She made freshman council and the rowing team (which she eventually had to quit)...and she joined several clubs...OSSA, a pre-med club and OF COURSE, Carolina Fever!! Food is good, but she is getting tired of it. Academics are good...she says the honors advising is outstanding. And Chapel Hill IS Chapel Thrill. ;) </p>
<p>Bit of a rough spot with a roommate problem; but now that the roommate has moved on, she tells me her dorm is back to bliss...everyone getting along and hanging out with no drama or trauma. </p>
<p>All of her Texas friends seem happy at UT, A&M or Tech...and those who went out of state (Duke, Dart, Case, Harvard, Florida State, among others) also seem to have adjusted well. Haven't heard of any transfer tales, but I've been busy and haven't had my ear to the ground.</p>
<p>1ofeach, I'm glad to hear your daughter was able to find an internship so easily! The Women in Science program was one of the things that made me fall in love with Dartmouth when I visited last spring, and I'm thrilled to hear it works as well as advertised. Now there's only the small matter of getting in... :rolleyes:</p>
<p>My son is a sophomore...at an Ivy. A year ago he was very unhappy. Didn't like his classmates, didn't like the food, didn't think the classes were stimulating, hated being in big classes. He never seriously considered transferring, however, and he believed it when his mother said "of course it is harder for you than your friends at____ (put in the name of some smaller LAC)." Getting used to a bigger school takes longer when you are accustomed to and want to achieve a sense of community. By the end of the year he was 'okay' with the school, but not okay enough to be a tour guide (as had been suggested by the dean of his school after talking with him..).</p>
<p>Okay, a year later...he is over the moon happy- Great classes, great friends, great experience. Happy he stayed. </p>
<p>So, if your child is on the less thrilled end of the spectrum at the moment, do not despair and try to help develop a constructive understanding of why this might be the case.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I've heard from a few parents that their kids were happy enough as freshmen but not as happy as sophomores, since by then, folks have made their cliques and it's harder to make friends. One of hubby's friends has a daughter at an Ivy who is an unhappy soph--sure would be tough paying the full-freight knowing kiddo was unhappy. Another friend said her S is now looking to come to USC as a grad student--maybe feeling he's outgrowing the Christian school he's at for undergrad? It all seems to be an ongoing growing process in any case.</p>
<p>My daughter went to her annual "Secret Santa" party with her HS friends the other night. Schools represented were Northwestern, Penn, Berkeley, Elon, UF (3) and UCF. She said all of her friends are happy so far.</p>
<p>Of course not looking at D's facebook, as in perusing it at my leisure. Don't know how to get onto it if I wanted to. But as I was asking D about various kids she had mentioned, she showed me several photos that were posted there. No one was in a compromising position, but they did look extremely happy...</p>
<p>I mean, are there really all these kids who are deliriously happy with their college choice? And if so, how come they exist here on CC, but I don't seem to be running across them in real life. </p>
<p>There is a lot of space between "love it" and "hate it" and just because a kid isn't absolutely delighted with their college choice doesn't mean that they are itching to transfer. My son has encountered enough problems with his college to have become active in a newly formed student group that is working for some changes, but he certainly plans to tough it out and get his degree there; if anything, the problems have resulted in him having a higher level of involvement in the campus community than he would have if all had been copacetic. My daughter definitely has a nuanced view of her college and college life -- but part of the <em>problem</em> is that everything about the school presents a big challenge, especially the academics .... and isn't that what she is there for?? </p>
<p>In fact, some of the anecdotal reports of students so happy with their safeties after being rejected elsewhere, or students not so happy at their dream schools, may be because it is very hard work and highly stressful to keep up in an environment where you are constantly challenged -- so socially and emotionally it makes sense that some kids might end up having more fun and be more comfortable in the short run at colleges where they are in the top half of the applicant pool. But the kid whose social adjustment to college life is compromised by the intensity of the work load may end up extremely satisfied with the educational outcome at the end of 4 years... even though it was tough going along the way. Ditto for the kid who has a hard time making friends at first because he or she eschews a strong drinking culture on campus. So again, "happy" doesn't tell the whole story.</p>
<p>For everyone whose freshman reports being "happy" at their college.... I'm glad. </p>
<p>But I am just wondering if "happy" presents it all in a too-simplistic light, contributing to greater disillusionment for those who find their college lives to be more of a mixed bag.</p>
<p>You make a good point, Calmom. Not every kid goes off to school and falls madly in love with the experience. It takes time and effort to adapt to an entirely new situation and to make it work. I'm one of those lucky parents with a "blissfully happy" daughter who just finished her first semester of college. She did not stroll onto campus last August and find everything perfect and just to her liking. Her happiness evolved over time. Her friendships evolved overtime. Her sense of being a part of the campus community is still evolving. ... What makes me sad are the kids who simply don't give their school a chance. Two girls we know of came home early because they didn't get into the sororities they wanted. Another was homesick and left campus before the first day of school. Yet another is returning because she misses her boyfriend. We've heard of several others who were hoping to transfer back home after the first semester. I think the college experience is largely what one is willing to make of it, and it's certainly a major part of the process of growing up.</p>
<p>I don't know, Calmom, with a house full of D's hs friends and some new college friends this vacation, everyone seems pretty darned happy with their choices, including the (I suspect substantial majority of the) kids not at their first choices. One girl who had initially thought about transferring has now come to be more comfortable at her school and has decided to stay. I wonder if temperament plays a part here; these girls were pretty happy in high school despite a variety of issues at home and at school, and in college they're still pretty happy. Part of this may be that their high school was very difficult academically and, I think, quite stressful during junior and senior years, so that these kids arrived at college with some awareness of time management around academics and fairly well prepared to begin college level work. Maybe I'm missing the boat, and maybe that sophomore slump has yet to hit, but my D seems to be part of a big group of friends who, while some have gotten off to rockier starts than others, like their colleges. A lot.</p>
<p>calmom - my son is one of those kids who got rejected from a
top school and decided to go to one of his safeties. And yes, he is very happy. Junior and senior year in high school were pressure-filled and stressful. We weren't sold on the idea of him replicating that experience in college. To us, it seems like a blessing that he was rejected - we didn't want him to end up spending the next four years stressed out.
No, his current school is not too easy - he works pretty hard and gets very good grades. But he also plays his guitar, does club tennis and community service, and hangs out with his friends. He LOVES it (his words). I can understand that some kids are more mixed about thier experience - especially those in very tough environments. But everyone has the right to choose. Like the kid on these boards who transfered from Stanford to U of Colorado. All that studying was just not her cup of tea. And that's OK. In my mind, social fit is just as important as academic fit.
I remember a college professor who told me that the engineering curriculum at at Cornell was the same as our big state school. It was the curve that was different. An A was much harder to come by at Cornell. Hmmm.... are the kids really learning more at Cornell? Or just getting more stressed out about getting a decent grade? Is a tough, stressful environment a good thing?<br>
By the way, I'm not bashing Cornell here - lots of my family went there. So no flaming please.</p>
<p>UC Santa Barbara was one of three schools on S2's short list, and it's lived up to his expectations. UCSB has an "early start" program - they open a dorm for about 300 freshman during the second summer session and let them take a couple of classes in the six weeks before the regular school year begins. S2 signed up, made lots of friends, learned the ropes while the student body size was manageable, and hasn't looked back. He's "undeclared" and I've encouraged him to look at college as being like a buffet - and that only a moron would come to the table every night and eat the same thing. In addition to numerous social activities he's taken (or is signed up to take) courses in Military Science (terrorism), Nutrition, and Oceanography, as well as the usual Calculus, Statistics, Poli Sci, etc. I love seeing a kid who was bored to tears in high school grabbing opportunities to investigate the world right and left. Makes me a happy Dad. (His girlfriend is also happy at U Wash - but they're both happy to be home now for a brief reunion before going back to school.)</p>
<p>On the other hand, a neighbor girl came home from Arizona literally her first day. A bright friend of my son is trying to figure out how to transfer out of Oregon. A friend of my older son is trying to get out of Hawaii after two years to a California school (any California school). His girlfriend transferred from Hawaii to Boulder. So I think that there are a lot of unhappy kids out there.</p>
<p>I can say in jest that we do live in a Lake Wobegone world here. But seriously, I think on reason "our kids" like and have adapted to college life so well is that most have taken the time to really think about that decision and have been in the position to choose well.</p>
<p>My D loves her choice. During the application process, we were concerned because of a number of factors - 3,000 miles away, different culture, no one from her HS was going, so she wouldn't have any pre-existing support structure. But we let her go for it, and she's been very happy. She's joined a bunch of clubs - including things she never had a chance to do before - and did very well academically too. </p>
<p>None of her HS friends are considering transfers, either. Partly it's the luck of the draw, partly it's other factors I guess. She considered a whole bunch of schools, with very few screens other than must be over 10K undergrads and have strong programs in her fields of interest. She didn't apply anywhere ED, and only told us her final decision after a round of "accepted student" trips. But the truth is, I firmly believe she made up her mind when she first saw the school during a vacation trip during her sophomore year during hs ! The rest of it was all validation. For her, it worked, thank goodness.</p>
<p>My daughter is attending Cornell and is a recruited athlete there. She applied ED (this was the only application completed) after visiting and talking to around 15 schools (all were seriously considered and researched). She was happy with the ED process which took a lot of pressure off of her senior year and allowed her to enjoy it. She had a couple of lonely "I don't fit in weeks" at the very beginning, but since then has had only wonderful positive things to say, although the culture is quite different. The closest thing to a critical comment was in regard to how much she studied for finals in one particular class. She isn't sure of her grades yet but thinks she will drop from an A average to a B average. She is ok with this since we spent much time talking about the rigors of the grading and the goal being to do "your best". She loves gymnastics more right now than she has in her whole career, saying that the team is unbelievable and her best friends and she will probably get to make the line up some this year. She loves the social life and may rush in the spring. She even loves the snow, a tall order for a southern girl. She said she wishes they had a little more diversity, that southern black people are way cooler whatever that means. The highest form of praise came yesterday. She said she knew that we were spending a lot of money for her to be there and we should feel happy because it is being well spent. She has zero regrets. She also feels that she is the happiest with school of all of her friends, several are considering transfers right now and one has quit and come home.They represent the full gamut from small state school to ivies. </p>
<p>She agrees that the amount of time she spent on the front end picking a school and making sure she had the right ED is the reason why. She has continued to speculate about some of those options but more from the perspective of "now that I know this about Cornell, I know that this would have been a better fit than XXXX because of.......". She continues to marvel about her "luck" in picking the right school. I think the only luck involved was getting in. The rest was lots of research. I have to say it makes it easier writing those checks every month.</p>
<p>My S was rejected from his ED school and several top choices (Ivies). Ended up at a school I encouraged him to apply to but which he had not visited until acceptance letter arrived. S originally wanted a larger school but is very very happy at Wesleyan although he found first semester classes interesting but not challenging. Finds that his class schedule means he is away from cafeteria during lunch hrs and spending more money of his own for lunch. Surprised that the various racial groups do not mix more. He is doing club sports and many music groups -- starting a new club tennis team and a brass quintet next semester. Doing community service. Likes the town of Middletown which surprised me. Is enrolled in non credit EMT course which he likes so much that he will take some pre med courses next year. Only thing we are not thrilled with is that he has joined a fraternity (at a school which basically doesn't have fraternities).</p>
<p>I don't know how my DD could be any happier than she is at her school (Hendrix). She gushes when she talks about her classes and her friends. She's very involved and it seems to be the perfect school for her. She is constantly showing us pictures of her and her friends and you can just see how much fun she is having and how happy she is. Her grades are good, her social life is good, life is good.</p>
<p>S does not regard Penn as perfect. He thinks the freshman experience (intro courses etc) may not be worth $44K. He knows it will get better as he moves into upper courses. He had a teacher who was teaching a class for the first time, and wasn't too great. The meal plan is horrible. He has adjusted well and has made the most (in every area-unfortunately) of the experience so far. He was away from home for high school, so the adjustment to college was less for him than for many. He had to adjust to complete freedom. He is NOT used to having average grades in a class being 65 (for the whole class). He doesn't like having to figure out what a 70 or 75 might turn out to based on a curve. He is doing well, and we are proud of him. He also thinks they should re-name the university. Minor points. :)</p>
<p>Dream school or safe bet, you just DON'T KNOW if the kid will like the school until he actually spends some time there. So it comes as an immence relief when he does like it, and it has nothing to do with bragging. Some things turn out surprisingly different. S, who wouldn't even consider staying close to home and couldn't wait to "get out of Dodge" , discovered that big city life may be confusing and found himself missing some things he never thought important before. He feels almost comfortable now and is falling in love with the place all over again, as a more of an "insider" , but this is a process which will take some time( he can't even imagine being someplace farther away though) . This is an only major adjustment , 2 years of Running Start prepared him for the academic side of college quiet well.</p>
<p>D is happy freshman at Knox. She has found plenty of friends, and it seems they stay in touch even now on winter break. She went out on several "get together" trips to Chicago and bought holiday trinkets to her college friends. She was toughing it out for finals as they were stressful and those A did not come easy. Her plans seems to be go forward to all 4 years- where she will live, what classes and when she is going to take- so it is safe to assume- she is not transferring ;)
Recenty she received a note that Bill Clinton will be coming for comencement speech in 2007.</p>
<p>I'm extremely happy with my university (Stanford). The weather is nice; the people are friendly; all my friends are happy. What more could one want? PS: I don't drink or party so that's not why I'm happy at my uni :D</p>
<p>
and a friend, very unhappy at Stanford, is transferring to Boulder in January. This ambitious, academically-successful achiever was shocked how much Standford students study "I can't go out tonight, I have a chemistry test in two weeks" is a quote she attributes to her roommates. As they say -- to each his own.
Quite odd I still haven't met someone that doesn't like Stanford. It is true that academics are tough here at Stanford but what would you expect at one of the best schools in the world? Almost all the classes are curved which really forces you to work really hard. Beating the curve (if you had it) in high school was easy but here everyone is brilliant and everyone is trying to be the best so you really have to put in a lot of effort. I don't think I did anything but eat study and sleep during dead and final weeks just in order to get good grades. It is not a challenge but that's what I signed up for when I enrolled here!</p>
<p>PS:I'm not trying to scare any prospective freshman but the truth is in top Uni's especially for difficult majors you really need to work a lot! That does not mean I don't usually have fun-I do all the time but time management is crucial at Stanford.</p>