It Sucks!

Paying for College
1

<p>It absolutely sucks to know after all of one's hard work, and all of one's time they have invested, a person still may not be able to go to the college that they have dreamed of going to because of money.</p>

<p>I always thought the problem I would be worried about would be simply getting in. Now that I have been accepted, it seems there are much bigger problems. MONEY.</p>

<p>Are Loans really bad to get yourself into? My dad doesn't think it would be beneficial to take the loans, because I "would still be paying them back when I am a grandparent". Also, if a college expects $15,000 of my financial aid package which totals $31,000 to be loans, is that too much? Would I be in debt forever?</p>

<p>This SUCKS!</p>

2

<p>I will be in debt forever too, but I see college and education as something no one can take from me, so a bill every month for 15 years to prove it sure beats asking "So do you want fries with that?" for the rest of my life.</p>

3

<p>It depends on what you are getting. $15K in loans total is reasonable but $60K plus is not, in my opinion, unless this is your absolute dream in life. Even then, I would suggest working your tail off during the summer, breaks and even during the school year if you so want to go to such a school to bring down that amount, unless you are already factoring that in. A kid working double shifts and really pounding salt can make $10-15K during the year but it is not going to be easy. Forget the summer off, spending money, shopping, vacation, any luxeries. There are those who have gone this route.</p>

<p>You will find in life that this choice will surface often. I would have loved a Suburban to drive when I had all of those kids and was on the road for inclement weather, and I really wanted a new, maintenance free one. No can do. Budget said a junker and, yeah, it was not as safe or reliable. I did not like living in a neighborhood where there was no back yard and, again was not so safe, the house was shabby and in need of a lot of repair. Surely, I who took in kids that would have gone to the state otherwise deserved better than this. Nope. And the public school was not a good fit for my kids. Being a city school, a gang element would creep in at the middle school level, and my high testerone boys were high risk for getting involved. No scholarships for the wonderful privates schools in the area fell in our laps. When it looked like Bone marrow transplant could be the best option for one of my kids, should he relapse treatment, it was very unfair that our insurance considered that experimental for his type of cancer. The hospital literally gave us tin cans to put his picture on and distribute to local stores to collect coins as a fundraising effort. What is fair and what you deserve to not come into the picture in terms of money. Yes, it is grossly unfair that some kids are born into families that can take care of them better and buy them better things including medical care, education, security. Not fair at all.</p>

<p>When you finish your undergraduate education, the ground is a bit more level as graduate programs do not tend to depend on your parents to pay. But even there, my niece is going to be $160K in debt upon graduation from med school whereas there are kids who had their whole way paid by mom and dad. But most academic grad school programs have stipends and fellowships for those who did well in their undergraduate work in that field and have an interest to go further in it. But the whole thing with money just does not end with college. It is always nicer not to have to think of how to pay for things, and it is not fair that some of us have to and some do not, just by accident of birth.</p>

4

<p>Long time lurker, first time poster. I couldn't just read this without replying. Wow, Jamimom. I've enjoyed reading all of your posts and have learned so much from you...but no more then from this one. In just a few short sentences, you've put everything into perspective. My dd applied to 7 schools, and heard back from 3 so far. I thought that would take the pressure off, but it hasn't. We are all so anxious just waiting to hear from her #1 choice. I'm pretty confident, but we all know that anything can happen. I've been very stressed out pathetically checking this board and reading all I can at least 5 times a day (I know, too much free time). Your bone marrow comment brought me right back to a scary episode with my dd a few years back that thankfully, turned out ok. But at that time, how I wished that my greatest worries were what I was going to find in the mailbox. Thank you for all the wonderful advice you give, and for making me remember what is truly important.</p>

5

<p>Thanks, Stressed Out Mom. Hope I did not sound too hard. One of my favorite vents is the way schools stress that this is the kid's thing--applying to colleges, picking the colleges, interviewing, building the resume, etc, etc. The kid should call, the kid should research, etc. When they go to college, the parents should take a hands off stance. But ultimately it is the parents who choose where kids go to college. Take a family that could afford Harvard for the kids according to the financial statements. But mom and dad won't pay. Other priorities. Kid gets accepted, and tough luck for him. No way he'll get a dime from Harvard because his parents have the money. Not till he is age 24 will he be considered independent. By then he is adult by every other definition for several years except for independence from parents financially for undergraduate education. Crazy, huh? I think illegal and I would love to see this one challenged. There is no reason for this except for financial. </p>

<p>I would love to see a two year community/national/international service period instituted between the time a kid graduated from highschool and can go to college with the activities done during this time counting heavily in the process and with money building up during for tuition. By the time the kid is about 20/21, a lot of the amusement park items in the colleges can be eliminated, and the an austerity program could be instituted to bring the costs down further. It would then level the playing field greatly as kids will have been on their own for that time period and less is dependent on parental ability to pay. I have a put together some models in this area, and wish it could come about. So I was not being harsh with the poster, as I also feel it is unfair that by accident of birth, some kids just have it easier for things like college costs. But it is the same for all things, even more basic than education. I don't think it is fair any of those kids who go to the nasty school where I volunteer have to go there. They are only there because their family lives in that area districted for that school. Hardly a fair process when 40 minutes away or less, those kids whose parents were prescient enough to buy or rent in a good district are in a much better environment.</p>

<p>Son is now healthy and happy; no bone marrow transplant needed, though we did break down the insurance roadblocks on that. And I now have a decent car, a nice house, and my kids are in a good school. But I was no less deserving of this back then than I am deserving of it now, and the kids are just pawns in this whole situation.</p>

<p>As for anxiety about college, it is nice to keep in in perspective, but when it is the major subject looming in front of you, it is goign to be stressful. We want the best for our kids, want them to get what they deserve. As much as we try to keep things in perspective, it is often the little things in life that bring on the rages and the disappointments. There is a sense of fate intervening on the bigger things, but with the college deal, you always wonder if you had just done everything a little better. Most families go through this angst. I know I was uncertain of what to do many times with my kids' college journies. And even when you get exactly what you want, something usually comes up that is another pain in the neck. It is a fortunate soul indeed that glides through this experience. We, in this family, have yet to do this.</p>

6

<p>15,000 x 4 = 60,000</p>

<p>That's a lot of money, but I don't think that's an absurd amount of money if that's your dream school. In addition, it that school is one of the top few, or if you are bright enough on your own, then most probably you'll have a high paying job after college with which you can pay back the loan in about ten years.</p>

7

<p>Same here, three months ago my only concern was getting in and after I got in I believed all of my worries were over. Unfortunately for me, I never thought of the cost of college as being an object. Now I am really worried about the costs.</p>

8

<p>Just to add my two cents - I cannot tell you how many people we know that have went to a community college and transferred to a state college that are doing absolutely wonderful (have great positions, are happy, & have a little extra spending money)! We know so many people who worked (almost full time to boot), lived at home and drove absolute junkers during their college career yet when it comes time to help my son I want to do everything possible to make his life easier than that. I do wonder though if that helped them climb that career ladder. If they had the tenacity to overcome all those obstacles maybe it made them stronger and better prepared for the working force? I cannot recommend graduating from a college with a $60,000 loan. Unless you are going to be a doctor I can't even imagine starting your life that much in debt.</p>

9

<p>There is a world between being $60K in debt and being stuck in a job asking people if they want fries with that. Many, many people have gone to public colleges and done just fine for themselves. Additionally, there are a whole bunch of people who don't go to college but choose vocational programs and apprenticeships who are not only smart, but earn a very nice living. Unfortunately, there is so much emphasis on the status of having a big name school that a lot of kids never consider any other option. Safety school shouldn't just mean admissions, it should also mean the school you can reasonably afford.</p>

10

<p>Jamimom:</p>

<p>I agree to public service component, basically a Gap year, could be a great thing for maturing the kids. I think we've spoken before about the annoying kids at university living large on Daddy's cc.......obviously, not enough peope want to engender character in their kids, it would be great if it were a nationwide requirement.]</p>

<p>When I went to university, I stopped for a couple of years and then returned to finish, I had a different perspective and never got anythign below an A.........there is something about paying cash to a babysitter to attend class that causes one to pay attention and knowing the baby could be up all night with no notice causes one to do all assignments immediately upon recieving them. Not that my grades were not good before, they were, but when I returned in a more mature phase of life, I stepped up the pace and did not let other things interfere with doing my best work. It would seem like the additional maturity would work for most kids in our country.</p>

<p>My DD has a friend at school who just got back from Iraq, she says the expression on his face when others are fully engaged in "drama" scenes is simply priceless- he sees it all from a different picture and does not let little things ruin his day! Maturity!</p>

11

<p>"What is fair and what you deserve to not come into the picture in terms of money. Yes, it is grossly unfair that some kids are born into families that can take care of them better and buy them better things including medical care, education, security. Not fair at all."</p>

<p>I'd say that my parents would agree with you... a lot of what you're describing is all too familiar to me... we don't even have health insurance right now. So yeah, I'm banking pretty heavily on financial aid in order to attend college...</p>