People with fall birthdays are usually the ones who have this experience as they usually turn 18 their freshman year and 21 their senior year. My birthday is at the end of September, which means that I, too, would’ve had this experience had things gone smoothly for me; only they didn’t. A few weeks into my freshman year, I dropped out of college due to anxiety. I went back the following fall as an almost-19-year-old freshman. When I turned 21 at the beginning of my junior year, one of my roommates said to me, “Lucky you. I don’t turn 21 for another year.” I remember thinking to myself, “Lucky? Lucky that I had to drop out of college? Lucky that I’m going to have to watch all my friends from high school graduate college before me?” The other night, I was talking to a family friend who has a 20-year-old son who just started his senior year of college. I asked how he was doing and they said, “He’s really unhappy right now. Most of his friends can go out to bars and he can’t.” I had to stop myself from responding with “Would he rather have my experience?” These are just a couple of examples. Across various internet forums, I’ve seen countless people acting like victims because they couldn’t go bar-hopping until midway through their senior year. But what they don’t seem to realize is that this is only because they had a straight clean path, as opposed to the messy crooked path I had; a path that being the first of my friends to turn 21 wasn’t worth. It’s almost as if they’re saying they wish they had had to drop out of college. Would these people really rather have the experience I did?
I think that is the most relevant comment in your post. I have now seen countless plus 1.
Probably not but it’s not a binary choice.
I know of lots of students who didn’t stay on the “age” path. It is not that big a deal. Age is just a number. When you apply for jobs, they wont ask your age; it’s illegal.
Students take years off to study abroad, work/make money for school, travel, and, yes, sometimes to reassess returning to their college.
I’m sorry that you are feeling unfortunate but you are lucky because you were able to return to school. A lot of students can’t return because of lack of money, physical ability, medical illness, tragedy, or other issues.
My D will turn 21 as a sophomore. She has a fall birthday, took a gap year due to COVID and transferred to a new school. She’s thrilled she’s turning 21 because she’s already done with the alcohol obsession/binge drinking that grips huge numbers of underage students. She’s looking forward to having a drink with dinner or at a bar.
You also assume no one else has experienced a non-linear path through higher education. Try broadening your perspective.
I turned 21 just before college graduation. It never occurred to me that anyone would “feel sorry for” me.
You have my sympathy for having have to overcome all these challenges and I sincerely hope you can see yourself being on an upward trajectory.
However, those issues were not due to other peers of the same age, so being deeply resentful (from the tone and length of your post) is not really constructive. Instead it may keep you stuck in rut. Their lack of misfortune is not related to the troubles you had. By focusing on negativity towards others you dampen your ability to embrace a positive outlook for yourself.
Yes, you had experiences that others can’t relate to - and it probably forced you to mature quicker than some of your peers. So use that maturity to shrug off any immature comments you might overhear, and focus on your path, not theirs.
OP- this is a recurring theme in life. For every person who is undergoing fertility treatments, she probably has five friends who got pregnant first time out of the box and say things like “Oh, you’re so lucky you get to travel with no kids tying you down”. For every person driving hundreds of miles on the weekend to take care of an elderly family member, there are likely friends whose elderly relatives want to take them on cruises “and it’s so annoying that they expect me to spend all my vacation time traveling with them”.
I’ve learned some hard lessons in life- and one of them is to mostly keep my mouth shut when I tempted to humble-brag, or whine about something that’s annoying me. Most of the time you end up whining to a person who would LOVE to have my problems- and then I’ve made both of us feel terrible.
If this experience teaches you to to be proud of getting back on track, AND to realize that sometimes people are insensitive without meaning to hurt you- you’ve gotten a REAL education!!! Hugs and congrats for being so strong!
I graduated from college 2 months before I turned 21. It wasn’t a big deal.
It’s actually a ‘problem’ that can be easily cured - pick younger friends! When you are 19 and 20, make sure you find new friends who are 18. You’ll be the first in your group to turn 21.