So. I applied to Temple awhile back and I got in but I didn’t get housing. I wanted to go to a school with housing so i ruled it out. My mind was set to stay at the current college that I’m at, University of Pittsburgh. I recognize that Pitt is a really good university and that’s one of the things that are preventing me from making a decision right now. Anyway, May rolls around and it turns out I got housing at Temple. Ever since then, I’ve been extremely confused. I had my mind set on Pitt because at first when I found out I didn’t get housing at temple I broke down crying. Then, I got used to the idea and I decided I was gonna come back to Pitt in the fall. But since I have housing now, i am now forced to make a decision: Temple or Pitt.
Yes, I know how very childish this all sounds: my inability to make a decision. It’s my biggest flaw. But i need advice.
My motivation for transferring to temple was because I was really homesick at Pitt since I’m really close to my family. Especially the first semester. But since then, I’ve gotten used to Pitt and I’m very confused now. I guess I’m just afraid to take the risk of going to temple when I’ve already gotten used to Pitt and I’m afraid to leave.
Honestly if I had to choose between the two and distance wasn’t an option I would pick Pitt. Maybe it’s because I’ve already lived at Pitt for a year but…Since Pitt is really far and distance is an option I don’t know what to do.
So I basically need some advice. Anything would honestly suffice. If there’s any transfers out there that had to go through something like this or if there’s anyone that is familiar with Temple and Pitt and would like to talk about either school and their experiences that would be great. Even a pros and cons list would be helpful. Thank you all for taking the time to read this.
Stay at Pitt.
it’s a good school. You have gotten more used to it. Your 2nd year is going to be better than your first.
If you transfer to Temple, will your credits transfer? Will your finances be impacted?
It sounds like you tried to jump ship on Pitt when you were in the throes of homesickness instead of waiting for a set time period of adjustment to pass. Homesickness is VERY common in the first year, particularly the first semester; it doesn’t mean that you are in the wrong place. If you switch to Temple, you will have to start all over with the settling in/getting to know my school process.
Try visualizing yourself making a firm decision to attend each of the schools, picture yourself actually going there and severing ties with the other university. Which scenario makes you feel more like a burden has been lifted off your shoulders.
I was in a similar situation long ago. I wanted to transfer because I was miserable and applied to a number of schools. The one school I really wanted to transfer to made me wait until June, forcing me to decide if I would stay, transfer to a school that accepted me (and needed an immediate answer), or wait for the school I was most interested in. I ultimately decided to say no to the schools that accepted me, and came up with a plan for my sophomore year at my current school (including registering for classes, living with friends, etc.). Because our brains are wired to help us make the best of our current situation, I started seeing lots of positives about staying at the original school to justify my decision to turn down the other schools (cognitive dissonance in action!). In June I found out I could transfer to my preferred school and I felt just like you are feeling now–confused! For me the new school offered too many benefits to turn down, but I also think I would have honestly been happy if I stayed at the original institution. So, I think everything will work out regardless of the decision you make (I’m hoping that telling you this will alleviate some stress rather than frustrate you). After a few days, pick an option and see what your gut reaction is–if it’s regret, then pick the other option. Sometimes our emotional response is more helpful than making lots of lists/trying to weigh all the pros and cons. Good luck!!
@homesickasf
what if you go to Temple and find you do not like it as much as Pitt, and find yourself missing Pitt?
if you have gotten used to Pitt, that signals to me that you are making a successful transition. you are making progress and overcoming your fears about being on your own. it would be tragedy if you inadvertently set yourself back by transferring to Temple, but that is a real possibility. your parents are not going to be living in your dorm with you and attending class with you.
it seems like you are stressing about what you may be missing out on by not going to Temple. but if you go to Temple, do you know what will happen? you will begin to stress out about what you are missing out on by not going to Pitt. trust me, i know how the indecisive mind works, always wondering what could have been and stagnating into paralysis instead of owning the decision and moving forward.
you should be proud of your genuine progress in overcoming your fears and anxieties that you have accomplished in your first year at Pitt, and for that reason I would stay there, don’t look back, and look forward to blossoming at that excellent university during your next 3 years.
@WildLupine Thank you for the advice! it’s really helpful and makes things less stressful. were you homesick as well? when you said you feel like you would have been happy at the other institution what do you mean?-- that you would get over the homesickness? Thanks–
Try to figure out what your gut is telling you to do. That will be your answer.
When I was in my first semester I was so homesick that I started to think I didn’t belong at college, period. Needless to say, it got better. But I know exactly how you feel.
It sounds to me like you should stay at Pitt.
Another vote for Pitt, its a better school and you are over whatever made you want transfer. Do try to get home more often.
@homesickasf
Yes, I was really homesick my first semester. By the end of the first year I had made a few very good friends (I even flew out to visit them during my sophomore year), connected with professors in my new major, and stopped feeling so homesick. It’s possible that if I had stayed at the original school things would have continued to get better. However, there were things about the original school that I didn’t like (and that couldn’t change), which ultimately caused me to transfer. Being a transfer student can feel a little awkward; the people in your year all had a year together without you. I ended up being better friends with many of the first year students simply because we had the common experience of starting at a new institution together. Please let us know what you decide!
I’d definitely lean towards Pitt. The first year is hard, and transferring could really throw you through a loop.