Maybe true in certain fields - probably politics, for example - but most elites have less than a quarter of the undergrads (and thus a much smaller alumni network) as the largest State Us.
I did not go to an Ivy but have numerous friends that did. Their kids go to a range of schools even within the same family. Father was a Stanford grad, one daughter at Vanderbilt and one at Hendrix. Father a Harvard grad, one daughter at Yale, another daughter at UT and a son at Oklahoma State. Another father from Harvard, daughter at UT.
Another father a Stanford grad, daughter at a fine arts school in NY, and 2 other kids at UT. As previously stated, fit and projected major were what the decision was based on.
My DH had 1 1/2 years of Ivy League college enrollment. He felt it was a total waste of his parents’ money. He went because he was a legacy. It was not his first choice. It was THEIR choice.
He didn’t get his degree from the Ivy.
We encouraged our kids to look at colleges that would provide them with the types of coursework they thought they might want to study. We also had them look at a variety of colleges. No encouragement for the Ivy here, but if one of our kids had gotten accepted to one and wanted to attend, that would have been OK with us.
"Everywhere you turn at an elite is so and sos dad/mom and prestigious companies throwing luncheons and a professor who can connect you to so and so and intern feeder programs. "
This is a complete high schooler’s fantasy of what an elite is - you walk into your suite, meet your roommates’ parents, and by semester’s end he’s offered you a $100k job because he got that rich by hiring his friends and family.
Great companies can be found recruiting all over. Don’t be unsophisticated enough to think that the “only prestigious jobs are in finance” because those jobs only have prestige among the small group of people who want to do that, and the rest of the world doesn’t give a darn.
The other mistaken assumption is that the only place rich parents with jobs hanging out of their pockets send their kids is to Ivies/elites. Plenty of wealthy kids at every state u. And rich people don’t NEED to send kid to an elite (unless that’s what the kid wants) if they are already connected or bringing junior into the family business.
We really don’t benefit the conversation by having high schoolers project what they think the world of work is like.
Yeah, @julian16, it’s actually much more nuanced than you seem to think it is. Some schools that nobody would consider elite have tremendous networks and name recognition in certain industries and regions.
And the alumni network at an elite may or not matter. As a general rule, the alumni network at a top business or law school (or even a specialized HS) would be more useful than an undergrad network because most people there are focused on certain fields/industries.
And I’m not sure why you think it matters that so-and-so’s parents are famous or not. It turns out that the dad of one guy in the wing of a dorm I lived in is a giant in PE. Not that that ever did anything for me. Back when I was an undergrad, I didn’t even know what PE is. And the son was intent on making his name in a field that’s way different (music). It was only decades later that I realized that this guy I read in the news and the tall affable guy I passed in the hallway a bunch of times were related (because they have a very distinctive family name).
My roommate at a public university had multi millionaire parents. Really! The were fabulously down to earth. I never really knew the family net worth until at least,a decade later.
Point being, there are wealthy folks everywhere…not just the Ivies.
My husband and I each attended a (different) prestigious small liberal arts college. Both our families were upper middle class families whose families saved money to pay for us to go to any college we wanted. Both of us consider our college experiences invaluable and would not have wanted to go to a different type of college. Excellent professors and stimulating conversations with similarly intellectual peers combined for a wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime learning experience.
Now our son is in high school, and we plan the same for him: he should pick whichever college he wants (to which he manages to get admitted). We have been saving for his college since he was born because his college education is important.
A determined student can get a good education anywhere. An expensive college is not necessary. But some college experiences are different from others. Our son will figure out which kind of experience he wants, and our financial support will be there for whatever he chooses.
If a family is well-off enough not to qualify for financial aid, then it has the luxury of being able to choose how to spend its money. Personally, I think sending my child to a great college is more important than driving a fancy car or going on expensive vacations or eating in fancy restaurants or other expenses.
If you’re focusing on alumni networks, places like Michigan and UT-A have some of the largest and most powerful alumni networks in the world. Just sayin
In Texas, the school known for its alumni network is Texas A&M.
I went into public education for my career, so I did not need any of the “connections” mentioned so often in this thread. But that is not what mattered to me. Going to a top college provided a once-in-a-lifetime intellectual experience while I was there. It’s not all about finances. The college experience matters too.
I don’t understand the question here. I got into some Ivies but I didn’t go to college at all at the time: it was the late 60’s and I went to work in Appalachia. People talked about poverty back then. I never really got back on the track I had been on. It is what it is. Embrace your life in all its zigs and zags.
Ironically I had kids who went to Ivies (and one who went to community college, equally happy.) I fear this thread is an invitation to bash Ivies. For some, they are wonderful experiences. Really wonderful. In every way.
And though you are addressing posters with enough money that financial aid is not available, I can’t help but mention how fantastic it is that these schools make financial aid such a priority.
Went to Ivy (Brown) and do not regret it (was full pay). Loved it. Very happy I went there vs. a state flagship (we did not have great options) or an otherwise less expensive school. As for our kids, we want them to choose a school that they want to attend based on fit. We believe that the $ is worth it, assuming they are excited about where they are admitted. We will consider less expensive options, but if they get into one of their top choices and it is full pay we will pay for it. I’d rather drive modest cars (we do) and have a modest house (we do based on our surrounding area), and invest in their education. But we will not spend $ just to spend $ – would consider merit aid options and state flagship, but again we do not have a UC or other top flagship.
@Pizzagirl “This is a complete high schooler’s fantasy of what an elite is”
High schooler? Four “elite” credentials between me and my husband. I would have thought someone with enough free time to make 40 thousand comments on a single forum was the high schooler.
Can only talk for one Ivy but my daughter is living this high schooler’s fantasy.
However she is social and is willing to network and to learn the habits of the higher classes.
I assume that even if you are not very social but very good at some field you will have unique opportunities to connect with top people from this field.
This does not count - you did not become his friend (or girlfriend :-* )
I’m not an Ivy alum, but I went to law school with a few. I think the truth is somewhere between the high schooler fantasy and the actual luncheons. @WorryHurry411 I still think you need to talk to your son, visit these schools and see if that is where he will be happy and will fit best. There is no “right” answer to your question – it’s not math, it’s life.
Of course there are well off kids at a flagship. But doctors’ and lawyers’ kids, auto dealer dad, and the occasional billionaire grandpa isn’t the level you see at an elite. At an elite every other kid is related to a Hollywood exec/producer, best selling author, partner at a white shoe firm, editor at the WSJ, titans of finance, old money robber baron family, senator/Gov/White House/State Dept., international royalty, scions and heiresses, and on and on. And I’m just talking about classmates, not all the profs and recruitment events and endless opportunities.
Go ahead and let your anecdotes comfort you; but sorry, a state school is nothing like the ethos of an elite.
That doesn’t mean they are getting you jobs. I went to an elite school with the son of a big-name Hollywood producer and we hung out together, but how was that relevant to me when I wasn’t trying to break into that particular business? Likewise, my one kid went to an elite school with the children of several household-name movie stars, the world’s most famous male ballet dancer, someone you see every morning on the national news, etc. My other kid went to an elite school with international royalty and ambassador’s kids. Whoop de doo! Do you think they just hand out jobs like candy?
You’re way exaggerating that “every other kid is related to …”. Really, you are not the only person on this board who has elite degrees.
@julian16 :Well, with your four “elite” credentials, you are still wrong!
My wife and I both went to the same Ivy, both full pay. But “full pay” back then meant about $4,000/year, and a National Merit Scholarship covered 25% of it. So . . . absolutely no regrets, even though we could have gone to public universities for much less. (It is also the case than neither of us lived in a state with great public universities.) We had some great internship experiences that the college was responsible for providing, but neither of us has gotten any specific economic advantage in life from going to that specific college.
I was very familiar with my state’s flagship, since I took classes there, and my older brother went there. (And somewhat later, my mother taught there for 15 years.) In fact, it was very strong in the area I cared about most, but not anywhere near as strong as my college, and the faculty kind of fell apart while I was in college. I could have gotten an excellent education there, but not as great as the experience I had.
Both of our children went to the same college, not an Ivy, but otherwise very similar. We were very happy with their experience, because it was a lot like ours in all the important ways. It has served them in good stead. Much more than with us, they each owe their current job at least in part to their college. (One works at an affiliate of the university, the other spent four years at a very credential-conscious employer in the second post-college job.) One is engaged to a classmate; you can imagine that they feel their college was very important in their lives.
The second child turned down a full tuition scholarship at a great public to go there. That was fundamentally irrational. Because we could afford to send him to the expensive college I had a lot of trouble telling him that his reward for doing everything right in high school was to be told he couldn’t go to the college where we had sent his sibling and that he totally loved.
as @Pizzagirl said on page 1 “the value of the…network is VERY dependent on the student”