Ivy Alumni

Parents Forum
101

I like your style, al2simone. :)) You need to be here more often.
I cannot help but smile when I hear that the offsprings of top 2-3% are considered “scion of wealth”.
Here is Felix Dennis’s definition:

$2-4 million: The comfortable poor
$4-10 million: The comfortably off
$10-30 million: The comfortably wealthy
$30-80 million: The lesser rich
$80-150 million: The comfortably rich
$150-200 million: The rich
$200-400 million: The seriously rich
$400-800 million: The truly rich
$800 million - $1.998 billion: The filthy rich
$1.998 billion and Above: The super rich

102

Every milliHarvard of prestigiosity corresponds to 0.0046 total scions (Sc t) at a school.

103

I’ll settle for being “comfortably off”. Has an amusing ring to it. ITs ok to be a little off :stuck_out_tongue:

104

My D1 attended an Iny. Other two, S and D2, attended very selective schools. Top 100 or 50 in the country out of 3-4 000 schools according to USN. D1 is probably in the top 2 or 3% in earnings at this point at age 28!

I have always said I want to have a t-shirt that says “I hope my kid becomes top 1%.”

What the heck is wrong with aspiring to succeed? It does not mean you are a bad person! Matter of fact, my D1 does more philanthropic work in person and donating money as any person her age, or any age , I know of. And, her finance job is not hurting anyone else.

She is a very moral person. I am so sick of her being demonized by people who are either jealous or ignorant of " Wall Sreet" jobs I say ignorant because you do not understand the concept and finance of world economics. It is certainly not simplest or easy. You cannot just simply take from one to give to another. Nor can you expect, or accept a minor few to have all of the wealth.

105

Nothing’s wrong with aspiring to succeed. Note how that definition may or may not include making a lot of money.

No one is saying that people on Wall Street are uniformly bad. Of course those roles are needed for the system to function. I did an internship for 2 summers with a financial company (and decided that it wasn’t for me). I do think it’s amusing that it’s supposedly more prestigious to be the person who moves money to a company versus the actual people in the company who develop and market the goods and services that people want. To my way of thinking, THAT is where the action is, not the finance side. But, that’s me and obviously everyone’s mileage varies.

106

Looking at those definitions in post #100,
Neal Gabler was right. He is poor. :slight_smile:

107

Really, I think some here are sensitive to others’ assumptions. Imo, rightly so, with so many sweeping generalizations being made. There aren’t that many kids jetting to Ibiza or going for that $100 sushi. Some may wear more expensive clothes or have a fancy car, but it strikes me as a bit naive to assume they build a wall around themselves, that something’s wrong with them, and the less well off kids just can’t find areas of common interest with them. Depending on what one’s interests are.

Try to realize the tippy tops are looking for attributes, including an openness to others. That doesn’t mean you won’t find snobs.

Is it worth it to go to a tippy top? Well, maybe, of course. But what a kid accomplishes is about what he or she brings to the table. And that’s just not all about being top dawg in your own hs or what you want in life. You’re joining a team.

108

“$2-4 million: The comfortable poor
$4-10 million: The comfortably off
$10-30 million: The comfortably wealthy” (etc)

And let’s not kid ourselves. The vast majority of full pay kids at any elite school (or any school for that matter) are, AT MOST, in the $2-4 MM net worth category (and many will be below, because they got to $1 million and looky, $250,000 of that is going toward kid’s education. Which is nothing to sneeze at, of course, but it’s hardly jetting-to-Ibiza, living-like-Paris-Hilton level.

109

Full pay raising hand here. I can assure you, my net worth is NOT in the $2 mil range.

110

I don’t think the cost of hanging out with an average full pay student is really relevant to the OP, though. Networking with the upper middle class could be done at pretty much any college, elite or not.

At an Ivy, there might be more of the uber-wealthy “truly upper crust” (as doschicos put it), but even if your rich roommate’s mother does happen to be the CEO of the company you’d like to work at, you might not be able to hang out with them all that often because they spend so much time on flights to Ibiza.

111

I do not consider myself provincial but I have never heard of this Ibiza. I shall consult my daughter to find out if her friends ever go there.

112

@CCDD14 I learned about Ibiza from my Ivy league classmates who went regularly, and they weren’t the uber wealthy ones. :))

113

I, personally, find all the emphasis on “networking” and “developing contacts” with influential people as a reason to choose one school over another to be extremely creepy. I’d like to think that my kid has developed friendships in college because she values her friends as people and likes spending time with them rather than viewing them primarily as contacts that she can make use of later on. That just seems very Uriah Heep-ish to me.

114

Just so you don’t embarrass yourself when you do that asking, @CCDD14, it’s pronounced ee-BEE-tha. :wink:

It took me a minute to get the Uriah Heep reference, @EllieMom. First thought that came to mind was the band from the 70s and I wasn’t getting the reference. Must be because I didn’t go to an Ivy.

115

I think a good education has intrinsic value and for that reason is worth pursuing, even if it doesn’t get you one dime over the “average” school in terms of monetary success.

116

“Do we have any parents here who did go to Ivy schools and they regret wasting money and think that they would pick affordable alternative if they have to make this decision again?”

SO is an Ivy grad, and D1 is at an Ivy. D2 is at a Top 50 school, but not an Ivy. I think that the more expensive school is worth the cost for certain students in certain majors, and not so worth it for others.

“Do you encourage your kids to try for top privates schools or top in state publics, assuming you make enough to be able to fund it and don’t qualify for financial aid as decision making is very different with someone else’s money.”

We encourage our kids to do their best in school, challenge themselves, and aim high. We don’t make the final school decision until the very end. Up until then the goal is to give themselves a good range of options. In high school we talk some about school options, as their grades and test scores begin to appear, but we also begin talking a lot about potential interests and majors, and try to help them find a focus/interest. It is difficult to choose a school before you have some idea about potential directions. We also want them to participate in sports and develop socially. They are very busy.

Also, majors at a school can vary significantly in difficulty and homework requirements. One college could be great for a particular student if they are interested in major x, but the same school could be too difficult for that student in major y.

We want to help the kids to find a college that will challenge them to be their best academically, socially, and to give them better odds of success as they define it. We also talk to them about possible careers, and encourage them to choose a major with solid employment prospects, because we are not rich, so we need them to be able to support themselves after college. We are willing to sacrifice what we need to in order to help them achieve their potential, but we are not interested in spending a lot of money if we can’t see clear advantages to the more expensive school, and we expect them to put in a solid effort.

I have to say that making contacts with rich kids was not a reason we focused on in choosing an Ivy for D1. In my admittedly somewhat odd mind, I thought that rich kids might want to attend to get to know students like D1.

117

What the H do I care where some kids spend their vacations? Or if some join their families on exclusive ski trips some winter weekends? I nicked any inkling of jealousy in my kids when they were in middle school, aimed to replace it with confidence about their interests, directions, and what they did have, in experiences or other. Look beneath the surface and you find a sorts of challenges even rich folks endure.

This thread started with Ivies. Who’s really out looking for $100 sushi all the time? Ime, on a more ordinary basis, kids dine together at school, study and party together. With friends (of all SES,) mine shared take out ethnic foods or pizza, maybe went to a movie together off campus.

118

LOL!

I actually started laughing out loud when I read that. :slight_smile:

None of the uber wealthy kids I went to college with (and there were many including a couple with families on the Forbes list) ever jetted off to Ibiza. I’ve actually been there, but I don’t think it counts as “jetting off” when you fly commercial – in coach, and you’re eating snacks you stuffed into your carry-on.

119

One of my kids went to an Ivy League school (which was her first choice school). The other went to our state university (which was his first choice school). They’re two different people, and they made very different choices. Both had good experiences at college. Both have no regrets.

If they have no regrets, why should I? We had the money. I can’t think of a better way to spend it.

120

Who talks these days - it will be on Viber as my daughter is out of the country.
I also thought about rock band first. We are dating ourselves here. Maybe we should talk about British progressive rock of the seventies - it is much more rewarding than chewing on Ivies for the hundredth time.