<p>On some CC threads I have read about kids a young as 5th graders going on tours of some of the most highly selective colleges in the nation. Also, I have seen more and more students looking at "Prestige" colleges before they are in ninth grade. A few questions:</p>
<p>(1) Are parents and educators brainwashing children at a young age, "programming" them to think "Ivy" before they are even in 10th grade?
Are we raising a generation of kids who can't think for themselves because adults are making too many of the major decisions for them?</p>
<p>(2) Are we raising a segment of our adolescent population to become PERFECTIONISTS?</p>
<p>(Perfectionists lack self acceptance. They believe that they are not acceptable unless they meet a certain (usually superstar) standard. They fear failure more than they desire success.)</p>
<p>Those who lock-in to the "Ivy" mentality at a young age may feel as though they must be perfect in everything they do in order to earn a slot at a top school. </p>
<p>(3) What ever happened to childhood and adolescence? Adolescence is a time for growth, exploration and FUN. Seems like it's gotten much too serious.</p>
<p>I think the saddest part is that parents think they have to brainwash their kids and send them to study programs in the summer instead of camp in order to get into an Ivy League school.</p>
<p>You can live a totally normal life and still get into an Ivy League school. Most of the people I've met here at Penn are normal people who went to sleepaway camp in the summer, partied on weekends and did normal kid-stuff in general. As long as you're a good student with good SATs and nice ECs, you stand a good chance at getting into an Ivy League school.</p>
<p>nodnard you just described exactly what happened to me. I never went to summer camp, I got a job in the summer. I never did any study programs or even test prep, and I never even considered going to a private school. I'm always stunned when I hear the things people I now go to school with did in high school in order to get into college, I played sports and got pretty good grades, and that's it. I didn't even think about college until junior year.</p>
<p>I remember seeing a thread on CC by a guy who wanted to know how to start preparing his unborn child for Harvard (I don't even think he and his spouse had conceived the child yet, either).</p>
<p>Nodnard I would agree that there are some parents who feel its absolutely necessary for their kids to participate in X University Summer Program, but I think that the high school going members of CC are an extremely minuscule and highly biased cohort within their demographic population. The sentiments and concerns expressed by people participating in this forum I would guess don't often reflect that of the majority of the American population.</p>
<p>Now I still think going to a private school, attending academically intensive programs and doing demanding extra curricular activities (all independently), should be primarily driven by the participant, you, rather than your parents. There are plenty of kids that do these programs because they are genuinely interested in it, and yet there are some who do it because their parents "insist". The same goes with going to private school. I went to a boarding school because I wanted to try something different, and in fact when my parents suggested when I should start, I said I would rather wait until next year, and thats exactly what we did. Parents should not force their children to attend private school, although many parents end up doing that anyway, but its usually out of an embellished concern for safety and "bad influences" , and secondly for education.</p>
<p>The point is that I would be wary about making generalization about such a vast demographic of the US population</p>
<p>what a nightmare. the parents may want the best for their children, but they'll be burned out by the time they get to HYPS that they've been working so hard to get into in the first place</p>
<p>Well I think its better to decide what college your going to attend before you even enter high school so you know where to set your tone for performance and classes you should take.</p>
<p>I disagree with bbecker. I think you should try your best at everything you do. Sports, grades, tests, competitions, and other activities. But you shouldn't overdo yourself. After all, the college you get into should match your capabilities. They're not supposed to be prizes won.</p>
<p>I seriosuly disagree with bbecker. Highschool is a time to find yourself, not tailor yourself to a school you pick out before 9th grade! I hadn't even HEARD of Wesleyan, which ended up being my top choice school, that young, and I certianly wouldn't have known that it would be the perfect school for me byy the end of highschool.</p>
<p>I do see a trend in the direction old but wise is pointing out, but it only applies to a small demographic. The vast majority of college students go to their state universities. And for far too many young poor, going to college at all is still a dream. </p>
<p>And bbecker - 9th grade is much too early to narrow down college choices.
How can you know who you will be at 17-18 when you are only 13-14? There is a lot of growing in those short years. By the spring of junior year is about the earliest you should be getting serious about looking at specific colleges, and even then, it doesn't make sense to narrow your search too much at that point. ( I guess you are the kid who proves old but wise's point, bbecker ;) )</p>
<p>I think it is incredibly unhealthy and just plain bad parenting. The pressure has more to do with the child's desire to meet their parent's expectations, and if they don't, they are afraid their parents wont love them.</p>
<p>It often seems like parents attempt to live through their children, which can cause a great deal of emotional strain on the child.</p>
<p>Although bbecker's example was a little too extreme, I can sort of see where he is comming from.</p>
<p>Although I had never gotten bad grades, I wasn't exactly a straight-A student (I got mostly A's, B's, and C's). I was pretty laid back as far as grades were concerned. If it was an A or B, I was ok; even the occasional C didn't bother me. </p>
<p>During the second semester of junior year, I finally started to read up on some colleges (first time ever), and leaned towards the UC's. Unfortunately, by the end of junior year, my GPA was a measely 3.2 (probably lower UC GPA). This closed a lot of doors for me. Now, during my senior year, first semester GPA was 3.85; sadly, this didn't exactly help me.</p>
<p>I guess what I'm trying to say is this: while you shouldn't fall in love with any college before you get accepted (especially if you are still in 9th grade), you should try to get the best grades that you can without killing yourself.</p>
<p>As stressful as "ivy obsession" can be, it isn't entirely bad. Aspiring to attend an elite university can encourage students to try harder in school and participate in extracurricular activities they wouldn't have even considered otherwise.</p>
<p>However, if that motivation or encouragement to try harder in school is backed only by a "must get into Ivy!" mentality, and the student ends up being shut-out by Ivy schools, it would be a horrible feeling for him/her. My AP Statistics teacher told us a story of how the child of one of her family friends committed suicide because the kid had dedicated his entire high school career to trying to get into the -very- top schools in the nation, only to not get into any of them. This is obviously an extreme case, but the "Ivy obsession" is even more obviously unhealthy.</p>
<p>I didn't get fixed on the Ivies (and not even on all the Ivies) until late junior year, when I realized that the summation of everything I've achieved thus far in high school actually put me in the running for top schools. Prior to this "epiphany," I never did anything solely under the idea of it helping me to get into Ivies or other colleges of comparable level. Early on, I would have felt fulfilled just to get accepted into the top in-state schools.</p>
<p>kryptonsa: Wonderful response and great advice! Thank you.</p>
<p>You are a perfect example of the HEALTHY approach to college choice. Sounds like you chose to "be yourself" throughout high school, and you ended up at a great school. </p>
<p>Hopefully students will benefit from what you have said, and they will get off the "Ivy Obsession" treadmill that is causing adolescents to fall victim to depression, anxiety attacks, perfectionism and low self-esteem.</p>
<p>Each year our school district graduates about 1400 seniors. Of that number, only about 2-5 even apply to the ivies, and another dozen or so to top LACs. Of the kids who graduate, most go to the local state universities (our lottery tuition system makes it a bargain and hard to justify the difference in price). There is no snobbery among the kids as to who goes where. Thankfully most go where they want (having applied accordingly). The ones who do go to the more selective schools have not been ones to attend test camps or partake in some of the more outrageous tactics I've seen posted. They just worked hard, got good grades/test scores, and had adaquate ecs, but none of the pressure cooker events some kids have been forced to go through.</p>
<p>having be someone who graduated.. i gotta feel bad for some of these kids and their social lives in high school... not saying all of em but anyone reading this in high school, go have some fun</p>
<p>I think it's sad that people work to aspire to "Ivy-League" levels when in all honesty its something that should come naturally because you enjoy it. I worked hard because I loved school, loved to learn, and loved to participate in many things. I truly enjoyed what I was doing. </p>
<p>Ivy League acceptance was just a bonus of these things.</p>